Learning Curve
Rated ADULT
Sexual Content

Jim/Blair, Xander/Spike
Chapters 36-Epilogue

Chapter 36

"I can't believe Jim is driving the whole way. I mean, he just has to drive back through Coeur d'Alene to get home. He could just ride with us." Xander said as he glanced toward the back of the RV. Jim's blue truck was barely visible through the miniblinds covering the shaded back window.

"After Willow attacked him, I'm surprised he's coming at all," Riley countered as he leaned against the tiny refrigerator and rocked gently with the motion of the vehicle. "I don't blame him for needing some distance."

"That's true," Xander admitted. "And then there's the lack of fast getaways. Jim's truck moves way faster than you would expect considering it looks slightly piece of junkish. This thing… not a good getaway vehicle not to mention bringing back some really unpleasant memories." Xander sat back in the booth-style seat and looked around the RV uncomfortably. This was way, way too familiar. "Hey, if we get you some really stupid sunglasses, it'd be like old times, only without Willow or crazy talking Tara," Xander said to Spike.

Spike looked up from his book and raised one eyebrow. "They weren't stupid."

"Uh-huh, yeah," Xander nodded without even trying to hide the whole not believing him thing.

"Brat," Spike complained.

"Xander, the military has flagged every credit card, every alias, every bank account anyone in this group has ever used. Paying cash and staying out of any hotels is the only way we're getting near base," Riley explained for the dozenth time. "And if Jim and Blair want to camp out, that's their choice, but I think we all prefer beds." Xander looked at Riley suspiciously. He was pretty sure that special ops meant lots of time sleeping without a bed, but instead of pointing that out, he went with complaining about the whole government keeping an eye on them.

"The spylike watching of us is big with the creepy. We should have Willow make new ID's," he said with a shudder.

"And the military will find out weeks, maybe days or hours, after you use them for the first time," Riley said. "You worry them."

"Hey, I don't worry them. I'm the harmless one-eyed carpenter of the group."

Spike snorted. "That's because they're brainless gits. It's always the quiet ones ya have to watch for. When I came into town lookin' to cause real trouble, I'd keep my head down and play nice. Any time I make a lot of noise, I'm just looking to blow off steam."

Xander watched Riley frown in Spike's direction. Spike put his book down next to him and glared up. "Problem, Finn?"

He shook his head. "I'm just still adjusting."

"Wot? To getting your arse kicked?" Spike asked sweetly.

Buffy's voice yelled from beyond the curtain where she was driving. "Play nice. I'm just starting to enjoy being in the same room without you two fighting, so if I have to pull over and oh my god, I'm turning into my mother. Why didn't someone tell me I was turning into my mother? I don't want big hair," she wailed in an exaggerated voice.

Xander laughed. "I'll save you from the curling iron, Buff, but if you're going to turn into someone, your mother isn't a bad person to go for."

The RV went silent. It was true, Xander realized. This time, Buffy's large-and-in-charge felt way more like Joyce and the way she just sort of quietly organized everything without really giving anyone a chance to even blink before she'd made the plans. Joyce-like Buffy was way better than general-like Buffy. In England, she hadn't wanted to let them go and look for Riley, but she had listened and she had stopped arguing even when she still didn't want them to go because she realized they needed to go. Xander realized for the first time that if Buffy had been all general-like, Spike would have eventually backed down and Riley probably would have died on the mountain.

"She was a classy lady, your mum," Spike said in the silence.

"The best," Riley agreed. He came and sat on the edge of the booth seat, glancing toward Xander before quickly looking away. Oh yeah, no awkwardness there at all.

"Right then, what are you adjusting to?" Spike eventually asked.

Riley looked over. "I hated you," he said with a voice that was almost dreamy, like he was describing something that he couldn't quite believe. "I would have put a stake through your heart in two seconds except I thought that would hurt Buffy, but now..." Riley's words trailed off before he crossed his arms and his voice got a whole lot firmer. "I still think you're a manipulative bastard, and I don't think getting the soul changed that. You sent Xander with Willow knowing they'd get in some sort of fight."

"Yeah, but I can't fight the boy's battles for him," Spike shrugged without denying the whole being manipulative part. "And I still think you're a soddin' pillock for going to a suckhouse. If they'd figured out exactly who you were, you would have been turned for sure. Turnin' the Slayer's pet human would be too tempting for any vamp, and that would have left a vamp version of you walking right up to Willow or Xander and slippin' a fang in them. Did you even think of that?"

"I don't think I was thinking of much of anything at the time," Riley admitted softly. "But the strange part now is that I can dislike you without the anger I had for so long."

Spike didn't answer right away. He leaned back on the sofa-slash-couch and stretched his legs out. "Can't say I ever liked Penn. He was a small-minded, stick-up-his-ass prick, but he was family. Least, he was until Angel staked him. Ya don't have to like family, but if ya trust 'em to watch your back, they're still family."

"And if you don't trust them?" Xander asked.

Spike didn't answer right away. Reaching over, he fingered the edge of his book. "The old days, it was pretty simple. If ya didn't trust the one above ya, you left. If ya didn't trust the ones under ya, you dusted them."

"I'm going to assume you're talking about life before a soul," Riley pointed out. "I'm not dusting or killing anyone, and I don't care how untrustworthy they are. Killing isn't something you do unless there is literally no other choice."

"Yeah, mate," Spike answered. "Souls make things a bit more complicated."

"Okay, not to be the one to point out the elephant in the room or anything," Xander said as the silence returned, "but are we talking about Willow?"

Spike snorted a quick laugh. "Yeah, pet, I guess we are."

"Okay, then I'm voting with Riley on the no killing, not that I'm voting with Riley against you but more like I'm voting for not killing because obviously killing bad."

"Oi, never said we should kill anyone!" Spike protested. "She's doin' her best right now, and if she stops doin' her best, Buffy has the right idea. Send her off to the coven or to Bertrand and remind her that she doesn't have a choice about givin' up these schemes of hers. And we have to show her that if she gives up the schemin', we'll make sure she always has that family she wants so much."

"Spike," Buffy called from the front. "Are you really sure she's scheming? I mean, yeah, trying to kill Blair was hugely wrong, but he had put the mojo on her, and it's not like she doesn't have precedence for thinking mojo is bad and people who mojo us are usually up to no good. In fact, Willow was up to no good when she did the memory whammy on us."

"So she uses her mojo even though Xander tells her Blair is a friend?" Spike cut her off. "Luv, that's more than just an accident. That's her thinkin' she knows more than everyone else, and it's not like this is a new pattern."

From the silence up front, Xander was guessing that Buffy agreed. "Her judgment is questionable," Riley slowly added, and there was the freakiness with Riley and Spike doing the agreeing thing again.

"Yeah, I thought about making her a vampire back when I first saw her just because that lack of common sense would have made for some lovely chaos. The boy, he was all dark power flowin' right under the surface, I could smell that even before. But Red? That one would have been fun," Spike mused. Xander pulled his feet up and leaned his chin on his knee as he watched. Yeah, he'd seen demon-Spike plenty, but demon-Spike didn't usually come out around other people, and right now, Riley was watching Spike with something that came close to horror.

"Oi, it's not like I'm going to do it," Spike frowned. "You know better than most what my demon is capable of, and unlike my wanker of a sire, I'm not going to pretend that it's not in there clamoring about how good it would feel to knock you on your arse and remind you that you don't get to judge me," Spike pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Can you control it?" Riley asked seriously.

"Demon's part of who I am, but I'm not about to go off eating villagefolk because the soul's part of who I am, too."

"I had my soul when I went to that suckhouse," Riley said quietly. "A soul doesn't stop you from doing things that you know you shouldn't be doing."

Spike shifted in his seat and leaned forward. "Get one thing right, soldier-boy. My soul's a mite bit better than yours. William died without one sin bigger than liking his own hand a little too much in the middle of the night, never did one thing to hurt another being in his whole life. I may not remember what happened those missing hundred years, but I know where he was. And when the demon went and asked for the soul back, William made a choice to try and make me a better man by coming back. The demon and the soul chose to work together, so don't think I'm anything like my idiot sire. I'm not some loaded gun ready to go off if the boy gives me a good enough time." Spike leaned back with a self-satisfied grin. "If that were the case, I'd have lost my soul a dozen times already." He looked over toward Xander and the grin turned into a leer.

"No no no," Buffy called from up front. "I am not going to be trapped in this thing while you discuss sex. One more word about Xander-sex and I'm finding Mariachi music on this radio, mister."

Spike laughed. "Don't ya want to know what you passed up, luv? He's a right treat."

"Not listening," Buffy yelled as the radio clicked on with a staticy hiss.

"Xander?" Riley asked, finally looking at Xander for longer than 3 seconds.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Your heart rate just jumped." Riley cocked his head in a gesture that Xander had seen so many times on Jim's face.

"Oi, that's called embarrassment. When somethin' goes really wrong, his heart goes like a rabbit's," Spike offered. "So, this the first time you've used your senses, then?"

Riley slowly shook his head as he continued to stare at Xander, and if Xander thought the whole lack of eye contact was freakish, the staring was even more with the freakish. "Maybe we should work on the whole Guide thing before we get to the base and I have to trust you to keep me from getting dead," Xander said hopefully.

Riley stared at him a second and then blinked into motion, shifting around in the seat. "Yeah, that'd probably be smart." And then he just sat there.

"Uh," Xander eventually said. "Where are your senses right now?" Riley looked at him blankly. "Is anything loud or strong or, you know, not with the normal?" Xander tried again.

Riley nodded this time. "Hearing is giving me the most trouble. It goes in and out a lot. Sometimes things will get so loud my eyes water and then it will fade out to almost nothing. Last night, Buffy was--"

"And that's a story we will not be sharing," Buffy yelled back.

"She's still a screamer, huh?" Spike asked with a laugh.

"I'm in hell," Buffy muttered, and this time even Riley smiled.

"She did something she's done a thousand times, and I thought my ears were going to start bleeding," Riley edited himself. Xander could still hear Buffy harrumph.

"Okay, ignoring the whole TMI moment, I should be able to help you fix that," Xander said. "Imagine a dial. Five is normal, the way you used to hear. So, right now, does my voice sound loud or soft or just sort of normal?" Xander asked.

"A little loud, but not bad," Riley answered after a second.

"Okay, so we're calling that six. You really have to imagine the dial, see the setting where it's at right now."

"Got it," Riley immediately answered.

"What color is the dial?" Xander asked, silently thanking Blair for this little trick. His Sentinel was not getting away with the tricky not-really-going-along while faking crap Jim had tried.

"What?" Riley turned on him.

"You have to see the dial, which means you have to be seeing a color. Does it look like a radio dial or one of those silver dials on the old televisions that click from station to station? You have to work with me, here."

Riley stared at him silently for a second and then closed his eyes with a sigh. "Fine. It looks like a Clansman PRC-320 radio dial. Black. Numbers on the dial and a white triangle painted on faceplate to show the setting."

"It's a what?" Xander asked. Riley opened his eyes and glared.

"It's a vintage World War II military radio from England. My dad collects vintage military equipment. That's what my dial looks like." And that would be Riley's cranky voice. Xander glanced over toward Spike, but he was back to reading his mystery.

"Okay, good," Xander hurried to say even though that wasn't a good look Riley was giving him, and Xander didn't expect the crankiness to really improve until Riley slammed him into a wall, but he was pretty sure there wasn't a polite way to ask someone to slam you into a wall so that the general weirdness would go away. Nope. Probably because random slamming into walls would create weirdness for most people. Too bad no one had a pseudo-demonic Miss Manners book out because Xander would so be buying it.

Riley was giving Xander a concerned look, so Xander shoved the random thoughts aside and focused on the Sentinel stuff. "So, your dial for hearing is on six right now, a little loud, but not too loud."

"It's moved," Riley said as he closed his eyes again, but this time he kept the frown.

"Are things louder or softer?"

"Louder."

"Are you on a seven or an eight?"

"How would I know?" Riley demanded as he burst up and started pacing the room. Spike just sat reading like Riley wasn't furiously pacing right past him, five steps toward the front, brisk turn, five steps toward the back, brisk turn and repeat.

"Hey, I get that this is frustrating. Trust me, I get it," Xander said as he thought of his own stress trying to learn how to handle his Shamanic powers. And the lack of wall-slamming was definitely not improving Riley's mood, not if Xander was reading the weirdness with the eye contact right. Riley stopped mid-pace, his jaw tight.

"I can usually push the senses back," he said. "I know this isn't your fault; I don't mean to take this out on you," he said, but his hands were fisted at his sides.

"Is it out of control now?" Xander asked.

Riley nodded. "The second I could see the dial, it started moving, and it just keeps getting higher. The sound of the wheels against the road is cutting through my head."

"Okay, so this is… this is totally not in Blair's notes. I don't think I've done anything to screw you up, but I'm kinda new at this," Xander admitted. "Can you imagine yourself holding the dial, keeping it steady?"

Riley stood, his eyes closed for a second before he shook his head. "It keeps going up. What do I do?"

Xander got up and inched closer as he tried to remember everything he'd written into those reports. "Listen to my voice. Just listen to my voice and let that help you find where to put your setting, and does it seem freaky to anyone else that I can normally babble for long periods of time, but right now, I can't think of anything to say? I think I know why Blair keeps all that trivia in his head, it gives him something to say."

Riley's frown started fading, but then he flinched back, his eyes popping open, and Xander could see the pain in them. "Buffy," Xander called a little louder. "Now might be a good time to pull over for a little Shamen conference."

Xander gasped as strong hands caught him by the shirt, nearly lifting off his feet before he landed on his back on the dining room table. "Stop screaming," Riley demanded, his voice a whisper, but the tone still managed to sound like a shout, although a really, really soft one. Xander froze, his back on the table and his legs sticking awkwardly out and he just blinked up as Riley held him down, Riley's forehead slowly sinking to Xander's chest as the RV started slowing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell," Xander said as softly as he could, but Riley still flinched, and oh yeah, he had been a Guide for all of five minutes and he had already totally and completely screwed it up. Xander looked desperately toward Spike since Spike was supposed to fix all things Xander did stupid, but the idiot vampire was still reading, glancing up every few seconds as the RV rolled to a stop.

Xander let his hand rest on Riley's shoulder, and the hands wrapped around his shirt tightened.

"Hey, I thought you might want a little help in here," Blair said as the RV door popped open and he scrambled up into the RV. Jim was a half step behind him, but at least he thought to close the door so no one accidentally turned the flammable members of the group into ashes.

"Guys?" Buffy asked as she stuck her head through a slit in the curtain. Riley made a pained noise somewhere between a whine and the sound chalk made when the teacher caught it just wrong on the chalkboard.

"Do you know what sense he lost control on?" Blair asked.

"Hearing," Xander tried to whisper. Riley flinched.

"I've never seen him this bad," Buffy said, clearly worried, and Xander gasped as Riley nearly flattened him, pressing tightly to Xander's chest.

"Okay, just whisper to him, and give him another sense to focus on, try touch," Blair whispered so softly that the words were little more than a breath. Xander could feel Riley start to tremble.

"Riley, you're freaking me out here. Of course, Spike would say that wasn't hard. He might even say that driving me to a freak is more of a putt than a drive, and I don't even want to admit how long it took me to get that joke. Vampires should not be making golf jokes. Just dial back the hearing. I know you can," Xander whispered whatever words came to his mind, his hands stroking Riley's shoulders because he really couldn't reach anything else.

"Blair, help me out here," Xander asked.

"Just keep talking to him. Let him know you're here and that he can control his own hearing."

"Riley, did you hear that? Of course you heard that. You're probably hearing everything down to my blood going through my veins right now, but you have to take control of that knob and turn it down. You can. I know this because Blair says you can and Blair is the big teaching guru around here, and he says you can."

"Get him to focus on touch," Blair whispered, his arms crossed over his chest and Jim's arms around his stomach, either to hold him back or to comfort him, Xander wasn't sure which. "Tell him where you're touching him, focus him on that."

"Okay, focus on the feeling of my hands on your shoulders, or hey, you could focus on your hands grabbing my shirt, and I'm pretty sure I'm losing chest hair here. You might want to just give me a little slack, not that you have to let go because I'm starting to think getting slammed into things is just normal for me. Actually, I'm oddly okay with getting slammed into things. And hey, you and Spike both picked a table to slam me into. Jim was more of a door-slamming man himself. Okay, that was irrelevant. I'm touching your shoulders. Focus on feeling that. I know this isn't naughty touching or anything, but this is weirdly personal, especially considering that our two lovers are watching, and then there's the fact that our two lovers used to be lovers and is anyone else thinking this is particularly weird? I'm thinking this is weird."

Xander would have kept embarrassing himself with random babble but Riley took a deep shuddering breath.

"You have control now, soldier?" Jim asked.

Riley nodded. "Yes, sir."

Xander took a deep breath, and he could feel himself shaking as the fear that had gripped him slowly loosened its hold. For a second, he felt his chest like someone had just punched him, like several someones or maybe a demonic someone, because his upper body ached from the tension and fear that even now clung to him. He could have killed Riley. How many times had he typed that warning into the reports he wrote? Zones and slowing heart rates and coma or sensory spikes and pain and heart failure and shit, he'd just about killed Riley. Xander forced a normalcy into his voice that he didn't feel. "Okay, that is called officially scaring the shit out of the person who obviously shouldn't be a Guide." He gave a weak laugh. "You know, I bet Giles has a list of potential Guides already drawn up. He's organized like that. We should definitely be giving him a call."

"What?" Riley demanded as he pushed himself up, both his hands still braced on Xander's chest.

"Finding another Guide, you know, someone who actually knows what he's doing. Good idea, yes?" Xander suggested.

"No. Look, I screwed this up," Riley started.

"You have been hit on the head one too many times with… whatever you get hit on the head with in covert ops," Xander finished lamely as the Aladdin reference sort of fell apart in the middle on him. "I'm the one who not only couldn't center you, but obviously set you off in the first place which is huge with the not so good. Maybe you need to find someone who doesn't suck at this stuff."

"You don't suck. I just, the minute I pictured the dial I could feel it sliding away. Xander." Riley suddenly let go and stepped back. "Xander, I'm sorry, I had no right to touch you. I really had no right to—" Riley waved a vague hand at the table where he'd flattened Xander. Then Riley's eyes darted over to Spike, but the vampire was just sitting, a boot on the couch as his book dangled from one hand.

"I wouldn't have hurt him," Riley quickly assured Spike.

One of Spike's eyebrows went up, and Xander could tell Spike was way too amused at Riley's sudden panic.

"Spike obviously doesn't know as much as he thinks he knows because he told me to expect you to shove me up against a wall, and this is definitely not a wall," Xander pointed out as he sat up on the table.

"He told you I—" Riley stopped. "He still let you work with me?"

"Told ya, I don't fight my boy's battles for him," Spike shrugged. "Now, if your nob gets anywhere near him, if you even start having a lusty thought in the same zip code with my Xander, I'll rip your genitals off."

"Spike!" Buffy yelped.

"Just callin' them like I see 'em, pet," Spike said as he pursed his lips and looked at Riley in a way that made it way too clear that he really wasn't kidding.

Riley shook his head. "I wouldn't do that. Xander is a friend. I shouldn't have grabbed you, I'm sorry," Riley offered Xander. Xander just shrugged.

"Hey, Willow and Buffy are kinda denially about the whole dominance thing and Jim is totally denially." Blair snorted in an attempt to cut off a laugh and Jim glared, but Xander ignored them both. "I'm all for it. Actually, I'm all for anything that means I have more someones who will stop me from going all Willow with the black eyes. You missed that period, but fun was not had by all."

"Xander," Buffy said as she slipped through the curtain, "you're not going to go dark."

"And I'm not going to pick another Guide," Riley said firmly.

"And you're both living in the land of 'wouldn't that be nice,'" Xander countered. "Come on, Riley. I did the Guide thing and I am officially calling myself really bad at it."

"Man, this was not your fault," Blair hurried to say. "Riley, have you ever tried to use the senses before?"

"Consciously? No. I have used them, but never because I actually tried to use them."

"And I'm not big with the helping," Xander pointed out again.

"I lost control, you didn't," Riley said, and that was his cranky look again. "I'll do better next time."

"Blair, will you tell them I'm big with the sucking?" Xander begged.

"Oh, hey, not a chance, and not just because Spike looks ready to bite me if even think about saying something like that," Blair laughed, which just made Spike glare even more, and Xander had never known someone quite so immune to the whole glare of death Spike had spent a century perfecting. Blair just kept right on talking. "This was the first time Riley tried to actively control the senses. Taking control means there's more chance to lose control."

"See?" Riley demanded.

"Okay, just to check. This was normal?" Buffy asked, and her voice made it pretty clear that she was hoping for the answer to be a big no.

"For a new Sentinel, one who's still learning to control his senses, yeah. But no way is this going to be his life from now on. I mean, it takes time. He has to learn to control his dials and listen for Xander when things get out of control."

"Is anyone actually listening to me?" Xander demanded. "I suck at this. I just sent Riley into the land of zones and spikes."

"Pet." Spike put the book aside and slipped past Riley to stand next to Xander, and Xander leaned into that strength. "Do you want to be Riley's Guide?" Spike slipped an arm around Xander's waist, the fingers slipping between two buttons on his shirt to brush against the warm skin below, and Xander shivered at the small brush of skin against skin. It distracted him for a half second, but then he thought of Riley, holding him, trembling because Xander had fucked up.

"Okay, I just voted 'no' on the whole Guide issue multiple times, so no," Xander said firmly.

"But Xander, you said you would," Buffy protested. "If any of us could do it, we would, but it needs to be a Shaman."

"And there are lots of other Shaman fish in the sea, but this one is officially off the menu," Xander insisted.

"Pet, why don't you want to work with Riley? Did he hurt you?" Spike's free hand started brushing over Xander's chest, fingers working the buttons near the top of his shirt, but Xander pushed it away in annoyance.

"I've been hit harder by grandmothers, and yeah, the grandmothers in question were demons, but you get my point. Riley didn't hurt me."

"So, ya don't care enough about the wanker to work through this?" Spike tried again. Riley's face twisted into something that looked like pain, and Xander felt guilt rise up and settle in right next to fear.

Xander glared at Spike. "You're just trying to be an asshole," he accused his vampire. One of Spike's eyebrows rose in a clear warning. "You know I like Riley, and I mean that in a 'he's good for Buffy' way."

"So, tell me exactly why you don't want to be a Guide," Spike asked. Xander glared harder.

"In case you were sleeping," Xander snapped, "I just failed the entrance exam. The whole making things better for Riley test… I'm obviously not any good at the 'better' part of that equation. I just completely and totally fucked up."

"Right then, so you're afraid of making a cock-up of the whole Sentinel bit," Spike summarized.

"I think I already proved I did make a cock-up of it."

"I'm the one who messed up," Riley protested.

"As the official expert here," Blair said, raising his voice, "I'm saying no one messed up. Man, you two have issues. I thought Jim was a pain in the ass to work with, but I'm thinking of revising my hypothesis to say that all Sentinels are anal retentive perfectionists. And Xander, you so did not make anything worse. That was Riley's first time to intentionally control the settings on his senses, which just means he just needs more practice."

"With someone else. He needs more practice with someone else," Xander insisted. Spike's hand reached up and cupped Xander's face. For a moment, Xander resisted as he tried to keep staring Blair down, but Spike's hand firmly forced him to look away from Blair and focus on Spike.

"Pet, ya agreed that I have better judgment than you do, right?" he asked softly. Xander took a deep breath and tried to ignore the rest of the people in the room as he focused on just Spike. Blue eyes studied him, and Spike's thumb made small circles on Xander's cheek, soothing him.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Right then, I figure that means you'll forgive me for this just as soon as ya get over this inferiority complex of yours. Riley," Spike said as he tilted his head, "Xander's your Guide, and he already submitted, so it seems like it's your turn to remind him to stop trying to blame himself."

"I already was." Riley sounded confused, but then Xander wasn't feeling all that confident that he understood what was going on either because that was Spike's amused look, and sometimes things that amused Spike were a little scary.

"Try sitting on him and making him listen," Spike suggested with a casual shrug, and with a push, Xander found himself bouncing into Riley, and he would have bounced off except that Riley's arms came up around him.

"Oh, hey, inappropriate touching," Xander immediately protested when he couldn't get away, and yeah, there wasn't actually anything inappropriate because Riley was holding his arms, but Xander had learned from Blair that obfuscation could be a beta's best weapon. Unfortunately, this time everyone ignored his little lie.

"Oi, I’m right here, pet," Spike insisted. "Nothing inappropriate is going to happen, but the fact is that you're Riley's Guide, and if you get your knickers in a twist about it, Riley's going to have to sit on you until you get your head on straight. I'm not fighting your battles for you either, Finn, so if you want him, you make him listen."

"Spike, I'm not so sure this is a good idea," Buffy said slowly.

"Bloody hell, do you really think Xander somehow fucked this up?" Spike demanded.

"What? No! Hey, I'm right there with you on the thinking he needs to stop blaming himself, but sitting on someone to get them to change their mind is not really… and this is where my head and my ass are meeting isn't it?" Buffy asked in a tired voice. "This is one of those submitting things, right?"

"Yeah, luv, it is. I don't suppose someone who's all alpha gets it, but sometimes ya push just hoping that someone pushes back."

"Which is exactly what I'm *not* doing here," Xander complained as he tried to move away, but Riley's arms just tightened more.

"You do realize this has disturbing implications for the whole hate-hate thing you had going on with Angel, yes?" Buffy asked Spike with a slightly squicked expression.

Spike started laughing. "Soddin hell, you're only now putting that together? Rupert definitely hid the good research from you if you didn't know that bit of history."

"Okay, officially squicked now. And why is everyone gay? Not that there's anything wrong with being gay," she quickly added, and that might have something to do with the cold expression on Jim's face.

"Do I get a vote here?" Xander asked.

"Not really, pet. If Riley wants you as a Guide, he gets you," Spike shrugged. "And you can do something nice for me later to thank me for that." Spike walked back over to the couch and flopped down. "Right then, since that's sorted, Riley needs some time to sit on the boy. Buffy, you can either take a walk or borrow Jim's keys so we can get moving again."

"Me? I'm leaving? Why am I leaving?"

"Wot? You want to stay?" Spike asked. Buffy looked around the RV for a second.

"Point made. Jim, you want to loan me your keys? Watch third gear because the RV makes this weird clunking noise, but I'm hoping nothing is going to fall off the engine before we get out to the base, and why does the base have to be in the middle of nowhere, anyway?"

"You think you're going to drive my truck?" Jim asked incredulously.

"Okay, it's either I drive your truck or I take a really long walk because I know Xander. Xander is really stubborn about… well, about everything, but he's really, really stubborn about his own insecurities, so if Riley is going to sit on him until he gives up blaming himself and starts guiding, this is going to take a while."

Blair reached up and rested his hand on Jim's arm. "Jim, if you're driving the RV, I can stay and help them. And think about it. The faster we get there…"

"The faster we can get this over with," Jim finished, his expression still cold and still focused on Buffy. "You put one scratch on it, and you will pay."

"Oh, come on. It's a junker. How much damage could I do?" Buffy asked as she caught the keys Jim tossed her.

"I don't want to think about it," Jim sighed. With a smile, Buffy was out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Riley, you can let me go now," Xander complained.

"Are you going to work with Blair on guiding me?"

"You'd be better off picking someone else."

"And I'm not letting go until you stop believing that," Riley said as he tightened his grip. Xander squirmed, but Riley had all those unfair special ops muscles that were not letting him go.

"Spike," Xander appealed one last time.

"If ya don't want to do what he says, beat him in a fair fight," Spike suggested, flipping the page on his mystery. He looked up. "Or an unfair one if that works better. Your choice, pet."

Standing with Riley's arms holding him pinned between a cabinet and the table, Xander gave one thought to seriously fighting back, to challenging Riley's right to tell him what to do.

"I know that wasn't your fault, Xander, and even in all that pain, I could feel you there like an anchor and I knew if I could get back to you that the pain would go away. I'll do better next time," Riley promised. "I just know that I need you as my Guide."

Aw hell. Xander sagged. "Next time, just remember that you freak me out when you do that because I am really not into seeing people in pain."

"I promise I'll try," Riley offered.

"Guys, we have a good twelve hours before we get to that secret base. I'll have you two ready for the Sentinel Olympics by then," Blair promised. Up front, Jim started the RV and they started slowly rolling forward. "Okay, let's go back and start with the dials."

Chapter 37

Jim stood stone-faced.

"It's a stupid place to put a rock anyway," Buffy shrugged, but Xander could tell from the way she wrinkled her nose and kept looking everywhere but at them that she had the guilt going. "Who puts a boulder on the road?"

"It isn't on the road. It's on the shoulder," Jim said, his words clipped.

"Which is part of the road!" Buffy pointed out in triumph.

"Which is part of the mountain, and how could you not see a boulder?"

"Oh, come on, it's a scratch. It's less than a scratch. It's a scratchette."

Jim's expression didn't soften.

"Look, I'll pay for the stupid scratch," Buffy said as she crossed her arms and stared right at Jim. "I didn't mean to bump the boulder. Bump, not hit, bump—nudge—barely make contact with."

"Oh hey, shouldn't we be focusing on the breaking into the military base and not the lack of driving skills?" Blair suggested as he reached up and rested his hand on Jim's arm. Xander could almost see Jim struggling to dial back the aggression.

"Yeah, what he said," Buffy agreed, and Jim's eyes narrowed.

"Seein' as how I'm the one who's going to end up in a little white cell if we get caught holding our arses with both hands, I'd like to get this bloody done and over with," Spike snapped. He had been leaning against the RV, but now he stood up and dropped his cigarette to the road and ground it into the gravel with far more enthusiasm than he really needed before he stomped off. Xander went to follow Spike, but Riley put a hand on his shoulder.

"Give him some time," Riley said softly.

"Okay, you officially do not get to tell me how to handle my relationship with Spike." Xander shoved Riley's hand away, ignoring the hurt expression visible in the weak light of the RV lamp.

"Xander, what Maggie did in those cells… Spike has never told you guys. He needs some space." Intellectually, Xander knew that Riley was only trying to help, and a little piece of him was all 'woo hoo' for Riley wanting to help Spike, but that did not make Riley right.

"He can have his space only I'll be spacing with him," Xander said firmly before he headed into the darkness. They'd parked near the edge of a low mountain, and Xander headed down into the rocky flat bit between this rounded peak and the next one. Then again, maybe these were tall hills. What was the difference between a tall hill and a really short mountain, anyway? Xander tripped over a rock and had to take several running steps to get his balance back. Yeah, he had no idea where Spike was, but he was guessing that Spike knew where he was so he was going for aimless wandering until Spike came and got him. Well, that or until he fell and broke his neck. A hand caught him by the elbow.

"Knew you'd find me," Xander said triumphantly. "And what's with the walking away? At least, what's up with the walking away if the Jim versus Buffy smackdown wasn't what drove you to the darkness because the Jim versus Buffy thing is enough to drive anyone nuts."

"I don't expect them ta like each other," Spike answered as his arm slipped around Xander's waist and Xander leaned into him.

"Yeah, but this time, it's really not just about dominance. They just don't like each other. Or Jim doesn't like Buffy anyway. You know, I hadn't thought about it, but it is kinda annoying the way she pretends to not lead when she's leading, but really, really not as annoying as when she pretended she was all Major Domo Buffy telling us what to do."

"Majordomo?" Spike sounded amused.

"Yeah, you know, back in Sunnydale when we turned on her and you didn't, and she acted like she knew all the answers and not even hearing what we were saying, so unlike Jim, I’m voting for the dumb blonde act over the major domo act."

"Pet," Spike said slowly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know that if we were all with the demony, we would have followed her anyway, and we actually would have been better off in the whole not almost getting dead way if we'd followed her, but having a soul means that I want the person in charge to at least pretend to listen to me."

"Oi, she always listened," Spike objected. He steered Xander a bit to the left, and Xander followed Spike's lead.

"Then she did a good job pretending to not listen. Really good job. Yep, Major Domo Buffy large and in charge of all things slayer, potential slayer, or demonic, and if it isn't an emergency, don't bother her. That was a weird phase I was not fond of."

"Pet," Spike tried again, "A majordomo is the servant who runs the house while the master is away."

"He…. What?"

"Like a butler, pet."

"Oh." Xander scrunched his eye shut. "Okay, that didn't actually make sense, the thing I just said, but I'm assuming you get the general drift of where I was going even though I was driving down the wrong road to get there."

"Yeah, I do. And you're right, the rules are different with souls. I'm starting to think the furry little Shaman's right when he said that dominant just means bein' more aggressive and direct, at least when all the people involved have souls."

"Yeah, but he also kinda let it slip that he actually ties Jim up from time to time in the kinky rope-for-fun way, so I'm not sure he and Jim really have the dominance going."

Spike stopped. "You have to explain that using a few more words, preferably ones that actually make sense together."

Xander sighed. "In the car after Willow almost killed Blair and I had to stop her and how scary is it that I'm the reasonable one out of the two of us?"

"Pet."

"Right, back on topic. Anyway, Blair said that sometimes the dominant one, and this is where he looked at Jim, sometimes the dominant one was the one who liked getting tied up during sex."

"You discussed sex with Willow in the car?" And now Spike sounded like he was ready to laugh. He tugged at Xander's waist, getting them moving forward into the darkness again.

"Willow brought up the sex," Xander said as he poked an elbow at Spike's stomach. "She was all 'Spike tied him up. Spike is evil.' Or something like that, anyway. I was still trying to get off the panic train at the time, so I'm not remembering exactly how we got off onto our sex life, but we did."

"So, you think Jim's not dominant because sometimes he lets Blair in the driver's seat," Spike summarized.

"Yep."

Spike did laugh, a soft sound that evaporated into the wide night sky.

"Okay, you're laughing at me. No fair laughing at me when I can't figure out what I've done that's laugh worthy."

"Bein' dominant means making the big decisions, being the one who takes the challenges, standing at the front in the big fight, and making people listen," Spike said, his arm tightening around Xander's waist. "If I give you permission to pull out the chains and tie me to the bed, that doesn't make you dominant, pet. It just gives our sex life a little more spice."

Xander stopped, dragging Spike to a stop next to him. "Wait. Whoa. Okay, that I need to hear again because I think my brain just broke. In fact, I'm really sure my brain just broke. Broken brain bad, Spike."

"Oi, ya really thought you'd play bottom forever?"

"Well, yeah. Submissive. Submissive-bottom, bottom-submissive," Xander pointed out in his best 'duh' voice.

"Submissive means ya don't want to be the one up front getting in a pissing contest to see who has the bigger knackers. Submissive means that you'd rather play peacemaker and make others happy than get in their faces. It's got nothing to do with which sex acts you use. Bertrand's domme isn't bending him over the back of the couch, leastwise, not unless she's got a nice toy in the toybox. She's still the boss, even when Bertrand's the one who does the penetrating."

"That sounds slightly on the side of ick," Xander said softly.

"Bertrand havin' sex? Bloody hell yeah. I'm tryin' not to get a mental picture of that," Spike snorted.

"I'm there with you on the Bertrand sex being squickly, but I actually meant calling sex 'penetrating.' That's a bad word for what we do. We need better words."

"I'm fond of the word love, myself," Spike said softly.

Xander leaned into Spike's strength and had a quick fantasy of Spike spread out, his arms straining against cold steel, as Xander tortured him with kisses and leisurely blowjobs and then rode Spike as slow as he could until Spike was ready to pop. "Love's a good word," Xander agreed.

"Speaking of Bertrand, how's the eye feeling?"

"You know, I didn't even notice that it always ached until Bertrand did his thing, and now it actually feels really good. Looking back, not getting the eye taken care of was up there on the list of stupids."

"Bloody hell, I tried carvin' my own heart out with my fingernails, so I'm not goin' to say anything," Spike snorted. "Sometimes you're just not in a place where ya can take care of yourself."

"We are dangerously close to breaking the man laws and becoming sappy here," Xander pointed out.

"Right then, we'd better stop. I need ya to use your vision here, pet."

"My vision? Why?"

"This is the edge of the base. I can hear the electronics and I need ta know if they do regular patrols through here."

"Wait a sec. We're going in alone? Spike, I was all voting for you to wait at the RV because you are the one person the soldiers will bury under the base where the rest of us only have a fifty-fifty chance of getting buried in one of their labs if caught, and you want us to go in alone?"

"The others will catch up."

"The way Buffy and Jim are fighting, they'll catch up in a year or two," Xander objected. Seriously, those two were still going to be fighting about Buffy scratching Jim's truck when the sun came up, which would be bad because two vehicles stopped in the middle of nowhere would catch the military's attention way too fast for Xander's comfort. And the whole switching license plates on Jim's truck was not going to fool anyone for long.

"Even if Jim isn't listening for you, Riley sure as bloody hell is. As many times as he did that out of control shite in the RV, he's going to keep at least one sense locked on you at all times," Spike pointed out with a snort.

"It's called a spike," Xander said as he smirked at the darkness.

"Then call it somethin' else. I'm not calling it a soddin' spike," he growled. "Now, turn on your sight so we know if we can expect soldier boys to come patrollin' this area."

Xander blinked away the darkness and studied the now faintly glowy world around him. His own blue cord trailed behind him, shimmering in opalescence and bending towards Spike's double helix and the trail he had left behind. "Okay, I am officially stupid," Xander snorted.

"Someone comin'?" Spike demanded, pulling Xander closer, and the double helix of dark red and nearly midnight blue cords looped around Xander and his own lighter blue cord.

"No, I just realized I'm not big with the clear thinking. I was looking for you, and I didn't even think about the fact that I could just turn on my sight and follow your cord, which is hugely stupid. I thought superpowers were supposed to make me supercool or at least less likely to act like a complete doof."

"You're not a doof, and that isn't even a bloody word. And it's not like powers have made Buffy or Willow perfect, so I don't think you can expect being a Shaman to make you into someone different. 'Sides, I like you like this," Spike whispered into Xander's ear, and even Xander could hear the footsteps scrambling over the rocks behind them. He turned his head and watched the ghostly upright cords wander closer. Jim's deep red and Blair's sagey green ebbed and flowed together like ice skaters, Riley's brilliant blue and Buffy's gold weren't as coordinated, but the cords would drift toward each other, move in tandem for a couple of seconds and then fall into their individual motions again. The four of them followed the trail Spike and Xander's cords had left behind even without being able to see it.

"Okay, what's the sitch? I mean, running off to chase the bad guys alone is so very not cool," Buffy complained.

"Oi, knew you'd follow," Spike shrugged, and Xander could see the shadow of the movement in the faint light of the cords. "Time to get this show on the road. We've talked this to death, luv, so time for some action. Are any soldier boys goin' to be comin' through here, pet?"

Xander shook his head. "Nope, no people cords, which I'm guessing means that no one has come through in the last couple of days."

"Which means they haven't added any patrols," Riley said with a sigh of relief. "That suggests that the situation is status quo and Lieutenant Clark hasn't had any symptoms."

"Ya mean she hasn't started eatin' the base yet," Spike corrected him. Riley didn't argue. "Xander, can you see anything like that cord of Sungsen's?"

"Small problem, Spike. Demon cords suck up light, they don't go all glowy like other cords. Well, your cord is a little glowy in a really, really faint dark blue way, but I wouldn't be able to see it in the dark without your soul cord right there, and Sungsen's cord was totally black. Black cord plus black night makes it really hard to see anything."

"Oh man, that's fascinating. I wonder if that's an evolutionary adaptation because demons are more likely to hunt at night. Camouflage for the soul. Cool."

"Only you would think demons were cool, Chief," Jim complained, but Xander could hear the indulgent amusement in his voice.

"Man, whatever. You have to have some part of you that thinks this is just a little—" Blair paused.

"Insane," Jim finished dryly. Xander could hear an 'umph' as someone caught an elbow in the stomach, and he was guessing Jim was doing the umphing.

"You got your toy?" Spike asked. Xander watched as Jim's cord scrunched down. Xander could almost taste Riley's need to ask where Jim had gotten the little anti-covert ops-covert op toy he was now playing with, but Jim hadn't given a straight answer the first three times Riley had not-so-subtly asked, and the soldier had pretty much given up.

"Tell me when the system goes off," Jim said as the machine started clicking. From Xander's point of view, they were all just standing in the dark while Jim went click, click, click.

Jim stopped just before Spike said, "That's it."

"Already got it," Jim answered as he stood up.

"Oh man, dueling senses. I so want to test that," Blair muttered.

"Not a bloody chance in hell," Spike immediately snapped.

"I'm with him, Chief. Let's just get this job done and get home before Simon sends out the cavalry."

"Man, this is the chance of a lifetime, and I can't even do one lousy little test, this bites," Blair complained and then all of them were moving forward into the dark. "One test. I could do something right here. Of course, I don't have the equipment to verify the results."

"And Spike lies," Xander pointed out. Spike would so totally lie before ever admitting one of Jim's senses was better.

"Besides, didn't you say you're changing your dissertation?" Jim asked.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I can't use the Atego research without looking like a fruitcake."

"That's never stopped you before."

Xander could hear another 'umph' as Blair retaliated.

"Fine, but man, if we find any more vampires, I am so testing you against them," Blair huffed.

"If you find any more vampires," Buffy interrupted, "call me, or Riley, or Spike and Xander, but testing vampires is a quick way to get eaten. Of course, if Giles and idiot-boy are right, the vampires will be avoiding you. Wait," Buffy said much louder than the soft whispers they'd all been using. "If Riley and I are together, does that mean my life's going to be vamp free? And for that matter, how can Riley hunt demons if they're all 'ew, ick, Sentinel.'"

"Ew, ick?" Jim asked, and that tone of voice really said it all.

"You know what I mean."

"Buffy, I've only been a Sentinel for a week," Riley pointed out.

"Oh man, are you sure?" Blair quickly asked. "I mean, Jim had episodes in his childhood, and your genes are your genes. You've always had those Sentinel genes."

"Yeah, but I always had the potential to be a Slayer, and before the last Slayer died, I was not much with the Slayerness," Buffy argued. "When it comes to the mystical, genes are not everything."

"As interestin' as all this shite isn't, the base is right on the other side of that ridge, so maybe we can wait until later to figure this all out," Spike interrupted the bickering.

"Way to be all logical, and when did you start being the logical one in the group? This is slightly disturbing," Buffy said softly. Spike didn't answer, but Xander could hear a not-happy grunt from Jim's corner of the darkness, and then they were at the ridge, the military base spread out below with straight lines formed from street lines lining the roads. A few cars drove between boxy buildings. Xander blinked his Shamanic vision away to get a better look.

"We're breaking in there," Xander said unhappily.

"No time like the present, pet," Spike said and he scrambled over the ridge quickly. Since Xander's hand was in Spike's, he scrambled after Spike, not stopping until they stood beside a boulder taller than the RV. The others followed. Immediately, Riley stepped close to Xander, putting a strong hand around Xander's shoulder and squeezing hard enough to let Xander know he wasn't letting go soon.

"Problem?" Spike asked.

"Something's wrong," Riley answered, and his fingers tightened more.

"We're breaking into a military base to potentially kill a soldier. There's not actually much right about that," Xander pointed out, and then he grunted as Riley pulled him away from Spike so fast that he sort of collided with Riley's chest. Xander opened his mouth to make big with the protesting when he felt Spike's hand on his back, slipping in under Xander's shirt and tracing soothing circles on skin.

"I feel it, too," Jim added.

"Whoa, feel what? Come on, give me something to work with here."

Jim didn't immediately answer Blair. "I can feel something sliding over my skin, something that tells me to either get the hell out of here or shoot something. It's coming from the base."

Xander let his arms go around Riley's waist, anchoring him when Riley's hands gripped him hard enough that Xander knew he was in danger of losing himself in his senses. "Okay, just focus on me, here," Xander encouraged him. "You know what I should feel like, what my voice should sound like, so dial back until you can feel that you're holding me hard enough to bruise."

"Oi, you bruise him, soldier boy, and I'll bruise you."

"Not helping," Buffy added.

"What are you feeling, Riley?" Xander prompted him, trying to imitate Blair's work with Jim.

"Something's wrong. I need to get you out of here."

"Which would be great, I'd normally be all for the getting out, except if we don't do something, Susan Clark is going to eat the base and then she's going to be way higher on the hard to kill list. That's not a good list, and I vote we avoid that."

"We need to go back," Riley mulishly insisted, and Xander found himself getting pulled back toward the ridge.

"Riley!" Buffy hissed about the same time Jim issued a curt, "Soldier, stand down!" Riley stopped, and one large hand came up to the back of Xander's neck, pulling him close. If this is how Jim had been, no wonder people had thought Jim and Blair were doing it like bunnies years before there was any bunnying going on. Xander could just imagine how this looked, with his face pressed to Riley's shoulder, and then there were their lovers, standing there watching. Yep, his life was officially the center of the Twilight Zone. Rod Sterling should be narrating his thoughts. You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of freaking weirdness.

"This doesn't feel like Sungsen, there's something not right here," Riley said desperately, and Xander could feel Riley trembling with a need to run.

"He's right about that. Sungsen made me uncomfortable, but this is more," Jim agreed. "But soldier, you will not let your emotions control you on the battlefield."

"Yes, sir," Riley immediately answered. "But this is not the place for civilians."

"Hey, I am so not civilianlike," Xander protested, immediately knowing where Riley was going with this. "I mean, yeah, I'm a civilian in the not having joined an official branch of service, but I am part of this army," Xander added as he squirmed away from Riley. He got just enough slack to turn, and then Riley tightened his hold. Xander gave up. "Spike," he pleaded.

Blair started laughing softly. "Oh man, 'stay in the truck' is genetic."

"Don't start, Squirt," Jim warned. "Riley, we need Xander for the mission, so stay close to him and watch his six."

"Riley," Buffy stepped forward, stumbling a little in the loose rock since seeing in the dark wasn't one of her talents. She put a hand on the arm Riley had wrapped around Xander's chest. "I know you're worried. I get that feeling every time I take them into a fight, and you know that feeling from leading your men. I don't know how much this Sentinel stuff is playing scramble with the brain cells, but you know that Xander can handle his own. You were the one who told me he was a good soldier, and I needed to stop trying to keep him fray-adjacent."

"You told her that?" Xander asked, surprised. Riley didn't answer.

"He's not even armed," Riley eventually said, his arms tightening around Xander.

"Oi, boy's got a bigger arsenal than you do, Finn. Right now he could reach in and rip your soul out without even battin' an eye. Besides, as much trouble as he has seeing with his Shamanic vision, he's more likely to shoot us than any of the soldiers down there."

"And I'm thinking that's a good point," Xander agreed. "Riley, I know that whatever is down there is freaking you out, and being new to this Sentinel stuff, you aren't really used to having a Spidey sense, but I'm your Guide, and I can't walk you through this if you try to send me back to the RV."

"Bloody hell, none of us can go in without you, pet. If Clark's becoming a Mazzikim, the rest of our abilities aren't worth a tinker's damn without you."

"Okay, see, logical reasons why I'm going with," Xander pointed out. "Lots of logic."

"Yeah, that and the fact that we're all going down there," Buffy pointed out. "He's safer with us, Riley. Come on. Let's go kick some demon ass."

"And knock a few soldier heads together," Spike said cheerfully. For a second, Riley stood still as the others moved out. Xander could only wait.

"Xander, I know you can handle your own, but…" Riley's voice trailed into silence.

"Hey, I've sent baby Slayers out. I watched them die and gave the survivors the pep talk," Xander said, and he ran his hand over the arm holding him. "If I could have left them home painting their nails while I did the hard stuff, I would have."

"But you couldn't do what they could," Riley finished for him.

"I can't even open the peanut butter, so breaking demon necks with my bare hands is slightly out of my league."

"Is it harder being the special one who has to go in or the normal one who has to watch others take the risk?" Riley asked quietly.

"No contest. Staying home? So much harder," Xander immediately answered.

"Yeah," Riley said after a second. "It is. Don't try to do anything heroic. We need you for the Mazzikim, so until we get there, just stay behind us."

"No problem. Unlike Blair, I'm actually pretty good at staying in the truck. It comes from years of being the one tripping or tripping other people, and everyone is just safer when I'm in the truck."

"Xander, it's not that. I don't think you'd screw up," Riley quickly said.

"Hey, you have lots of precedents on your side if you did think that."

"No, I don't. You handle yourself better than any recruit. I'd take you in my unit in a second, Xander."

"And why am I hearing a but?"

Riley was silent for a second. "We're going up against my old command down there. I don't want you to be in a position to kill one of the good guys, not even one of the misguided good guys who are potentially endangering the world."

Xander thought about that. He carried the guilt of having never done enough, of surviving when so many others, others who were better than he was, died. He'd never carried the guilt of having to send the person he loved to hell. He never slid a knife into some innocent guy's guts on accident. He knew that the others carried guilt that Xander couldn't even imagine. Hearing Riley's pain, Xander suspected the soldier was in that category.

"No problem. I'll keep my head down," he promised his Sentinel. Riley tightened his arms for a second, and then he put one hand under Xander's elbow and started helping him down the slope to the base and their big plan for saving the world… again.

Chapter 38
Xander was going to have a heart attack. Yep, he was going to drop dead and then his lover and his Sentinel could just fucking suffer. Xander kept his head down as another small group of soldiers passed them. One offered a faint nod in Riley's direction, and immediately got a blank expression before following his friends down the street.

Riley's hand tightened around Xander's arm, and Xander suspected that Riley was driving himself crazy trying to track all the heartbeats around them, struggling to identify anyone who might have seen through the magical disguise that didn't disguise them as much as make people not notice them. And even in the army clothing they'd stolen, they were so totally noticeable. Buffy's sleeves hung past her fingers. As plans went, this one kinda sucked.

"Let it go, Riley. Jim can track them. Focus on the best path to the medical place," Xander whispered.

"Infirmary," Riley corrected him automatically, and Xander rolled his eye. Right now, he didn't care if they called the thing Bob as long as they got there and back without running into too many people. His heart so wasn't taking this well. He preferred plans with dynamite… hell, right now he'd settle for having a big rock because he was feeling like a guy without a rock, and that was a worse sort of cavalry than a guy with a rock, and yep, he was officially losing his mind. Riley paused and looked over at him, his hand coming up to rest on Xander's shoulder.

"Oi, time for panic later, pet, alright?" Spike asked as he immediately moved in behind Xander, wrapping an arm around him in a pose that was so not Army approved.

"Way to be conspicuous," Xander hissed.

"No one around ta see, pet. Just take a deep breath."

"He's right, we're in the clear," Riley reassured him. Xander closed his eye and tried to remind himself that they'd survived way stupider plans than this before.

"Let's just get this over with," he said as he opened his eye again. Spike pulled down the army cap and gave Xander a leer and a wink before he fell back to Buffy's side with Jim and Blair pulling up the rear. "Still calling this a stupid plan," he muttered as Riley tugged his arm to get him moving.

"We'll be out of here as fast as we can," Riley said in a serious voice that made it pretty clear that if he had his way, as fast as they could would include breaking sound barriers.

"Just focus ahead, Riley. Keep your sight and sound balanced, move the dials up together," Xander coached.

Riley gave him a nod and turned a corner into a more well lit area and walked up the stairs to a square block building that looked like every other square block building. He pulled open the door and entered in front of Xander, stopping at a table set in the hall. Xander could feel the sweat starting as the soldier looked up and immediately lowered his brows in confusion.

Riley showed him a blank page in a small notebook, and the man considered it seriously, the confusion deepening as he eventually waved them in without a word. He picked up his pen and the list where names and numbers were neatly recorded. Holding it as the others came through the door, the soldier blinked at it as through trying to figure out English, and then he eventually just put it back down without writing anything. Woo hoo for the mojo, Xander thought to himself as they headed for the stairs, Buffy and Spike close behind.

"Up or down?" Xander asked when Riley paused on the first landing.

"I’m not sure. There are so many voices," he said, and his voice sounded freakishly small and unsure. Blair and Jim came through the door into the stairwell last, closing it softly behind them so that all six of them were now on the slightly cramped landing. Of course, maybe just Xander felt cramped because Spike was pressed up against his back and Riley had pulled him close against his chest.

"Forget the senses, Finn," Jim advised him. "You were a soldier here long before you were a Sentinel. They know she's infected with the same thing that sent Sungsen off the deep end. If they haven't killed her, where would they have stashed her?"

"Basement," Riley immediately answered with a relieved sigh. Letting go of Xander's waist, he caught Xander's wrist and started for the stairs going down. On the way past, Jim slapped his shoulder.

"Don't ever think that the senses are the only thing you have going for you, soldier," Jim offered. Riley paused on the first step.

"Thanks for the reminder," he answered before he headed down, Xander in tow. Two stories down, the stairwell ended, and Riley headed through a door into one more white hallway. Two soldiers were coming toward them, but they passed without even making eye contact. Of course, that didn't keep Xander's heart from pounding.

Now Riley strode forward looking every bit the officer in charge as he passed locked metal doors with keypads. At the far end of the hall, a door came open and short man with dark hair and a wicked scar from cheek to chin headed toward them. At first, his eyes slid right past them, and then he paused.

Xander gasped as Riley's hand on his wrist tightened just a little too much. Scarface stopped and looked at Riley, stepping back in alarm.

"Major Finn?" he asked. He shook his head like a dog climbing out of water and blinked before he stepped forward.

Xander found himself thrust behind Riley who turned to face the soldier.

"Sergeant Jimenez," Riley said calmly, which was more than a little on the impressive side because Xander was all for hyperventilating right now. Hyperventilating and passing out.

"We got word you'd been killed in-country." Sergeant Jimenez looked confused.

"The rest of the unit went down."

"Hostile?"

"Sungsen went hostile," Riley said curtly, and the other man dropped his eyes to the floor, his jaw tightening as he gave a brief nod.

"You're still scheduled on leave," Riley said even though the guy obviously wasn't on leave any more. Spike slid forward until he stood next to Xander right behind Riley.

"I came back early." Jimenez still looked a little bewildered.

"But Karen…" Riley stopped when Jimenez looked up sharply. For several seconds, there was only silence, a silence that Xander obviously didn't understand because Riley eventually just offered a quiet, "I'm very sorry."

"Major, the general never said anything about you returning."

"He doesn't know." Riley stood up a little straighter, and Xander could see that register with Jimenez. The man froze for a second, not even blinking. "He left me out there to die. He let the whole unit die because he didn't call the mission when I recommended it."

"Does he know you're alive?"

"Yes." Riley didn't elaborate, and the two soldiers watched each other. Jimenez shifted from one foot to the other and glanced at the rest of the team. Buffy had inched closer, but Jim and Blair held position about twenty feet back.

"He didn't even tell me." Jimenez didn't sound exactly happy about that, but if Xander hadn't lost the plot somewhere along the way, Clark, Jimenez, and Riley were the only surviving members of the entire team, so he could see where getting left in the dark might make a person cranky.

Riley gave a sarcastic huff. "He doesn't have our best interests at heart. He reminds me of Dr. Walsh." Jimenez's gaze snapped to Riley at that name.

"Sir?" he asked slowly, pulling the word out uncertainly.

"Sungsen was infected. The general wanted field exercises. He wanted to know the extent of Sungsen's abilities, and he didn't even attempt to remove the infection. Susan Clark was infected at the same time, and as far as I know, he still has her on base."

"So, you've what? You've come here to kill Clark?" Jimenez narrowed his eyes in a clear challenge, but Riley wasn't backing off.

"No, we've come to evaluate Clark, to determine if she has been compromised." Riley sounded way too tense, even with all those pretty words that made the mission sound so much nicer than just coming to kill the woman. Xander was so lost in considering euphemisms that he flinched when Riley's hand landed on his shoulder.

"This is the Slayer and her team," Riley said as he looked back at Buffy.

"Ms. Summers," Jimenez offered warily. He glanced her way, but then focused on Xander, which made Xander want to shake off Riley's hand, but he didn't think his Sentinel would appreciate that too much. But the fact was that Jimenez was watching that hand with more than a little suspicion.

"This is her Shaman," Riley introduced Xander without offering a name. Jimenez 's eyes went large for a second.

"He's going to do the evaluation?" That was definitely a not-friendly tone of voice.

"He'll do a fair job. I've known him a long time, and he's lost people to hostiles. He won't make a snap judgment. If anything, I have to worry that he'll give her too much benefit of the doubt; he has more compassion than common sense."

"A potentially fatal flaw."

"If he were in the army, yes. But he isn't, and he's never going to be." Riley let his hand fall away from Xander's shoulder as he took a step toward Jimenez. "Understood, soldier?"

"Yes, sir," Jimenez answered automatically. He gave Riley an almost smile. "I assume we're off the books here, then?"

"We're so far off that we'll end up buried if the sides fall in," Riley agreed, but Jimenez didn't seem particularly bothered by the potential for treason.

He nodded and glanced down the hall. "And they're all with you?"

Riley kept his eyes focused on Jimenez. "Sungsen took out the entire unit except me." Riley paused for a second. "Sungsen ate the whole unit," he corrected himself. Jimenez jerked.

"Major?" he asked.

"It's why we had to bring a Shaman. We can't have her go that way."

"So the Shaman kills Clark?" Jimenez demanded.

"Absolutely not!" Riley snapped. "The Shaman is here to determine whether she is infected, and if she is, to neutralize her powers. I will take care of Susan." Riley's back went stiff as he stared angrily at Jimenez. For a moment, they two stared at each other and then the other soldier nodded wearily.

"She deserves to have one of us do it," he agreed.

For long seconds, a hushed silence whispered about stories that Xander so did not even want to know. He remembered when his stake had slid into Jesse's chest, and yeah, that hadn't been Jessie, so it wasn't like he'd really killed his friend, but it had still haunted him. And Xander had a pretty good idea that these guys had killed their friends, and that sent a cold chill down his back. Yep, he was adding Riley to his list of people who needed therapy.

"We don't leave our own for the hostiles," Riley said, his tone turning the sentence into a well-worn maxim.

"Never," Jimenez agreed. "I want to go with you. If you have to… I want to say goodbye."

"Soldier, if we have to, then Susan was lost a long time ago."

"Then I'll say goodbye to whatever is left, lying in that hospital bed," he insisted mulishly. Riley didn't answer right away.

"Ri, this hanging out in hallways thing, so high school," Buffy encouraged him with the subtlety of a bull moose, and Riley gave her a weak smile.

"Jimenez, you're with us. Just stay out of the way because not everyone here uses conventional weapons, but they are definitely all on our side," he said firmly.

"Yes, sir. I copy that." The man glanced back, and Xander could see suspicion flash across his face when he looked at Spike. Oh yeah, the magical muck-up people's concentration ball definitely had some flaws because he was a good half-way to figuring out that Spike was a vampire, Xander could just feel it. "I just came from visiting her. They have the security glass down, but I assume you have a plan for that," Jimenez said as he fell in next to Riley as they walked down the hall.

"Security glass is no problem as long as we don't have an actual security guard. I would hate to have to knock someone out," Buffy offered. Xander waited for Spike's obvious offer, but for once, his vampire actually stayed quiet.

"Just a camera focused on the bed," Jimenez said as he ran his security card through a reader just above the number pad.

"Any sound?" Riley asked.

"Just picture. She went through a phase where she did a lot of screaming, so they turned the mic off." The door clicked and Jimenez pulled it open. "She's quiet now."

Xander came into the observation area just behind Riley and Jimenez. A large glass wall with a metal mesh embedded into it separated the two halves of the room. On their side, a black plastic and metal chair sat next to the glass. On the other side, a woman with a nose too large for her face was lying on the white sheets with tubes dripping something into both arms and a dozen wires running under the gray blanket. Her arms lay on top of the blanket, and brown restraints anchored her wrists to the solid frame. She didn't move.

"There's the camera," Jimenez said as he nodded toward a box on their side of the glass that pointed into the other room.

"Camera, no problem. We have our handy-dandy confuse the techno-crap gizmo," Buffy said as she pulled a small round donut shaped ring of metal out of her oversized army surplus jacket. "The finest in witchly electronics." She pulled the chair over and stood on it, pressing the metal thing to the side of the camera. After a second, a soft green glow sort of visually pinged. "Problem solved," Buffy shrugged. Xander might have taken her casual tone for uncaring, only he could see the way she carefully avoided looking at the pale body lying in the bed. She returned to the far side of the room, and Riley's fingers brushed her arm as she passed him. She gave him a small smile.

"Xander?" Jim asked from the door. "You need us in there?"

Xander jumped, and Riley's hand landed at the small of his back. "Soldier?" Riley asked him. Yeah, Xander knew that Riley was just trying to avoid the other guy getting his name, but he appreciated that the secret identity was 'soldier' and not 'freaking out guy.'

"They left her alone like that," Xander said to explain his reaction.

"I've been here with her as much as I can," Jimenez quickly objected.

Riley shook his head. "He means that they didn't let you go in there. They didn't let you hold her hand. Xander, we need to know if she's a danger. We both know that if she's overcome by the Mazzikim infection, the glass and restraints won't mean anything."

Blinking away the world, Xander focused on the soul in front of him. Her soul cord was orangey pink, but Xander could see the shadow that had attached itself. The darkness clung to her soul, and Xander stopped breathing as he could almost feel the evil pressing in against Clark's very soul. Stepping forward, Xander put his palm against the glass. He could see through the shadow the way you could see blue sky in the cracks between the clouds on a stormy day, but her soul was so small, little more than a string and quickly fading to a thread.

"Xander?" Riley asked.

"She's taking it out with her," Xander said as he cocked his head and looked at the scene in front of him. Clark's emaciated cord undulated slowly, the darkness sliding over it like oil, but he could feel death pressing in at the edges of the scene.

"Pet, ya have to explain a bit better than that," Spike said, his hands now resting on Xander's waist, anchoring him.

"The darkness, it's there. It's pressing in on her, wrapping around her," he tried to explain. "It wants in her cord, it wants to possess her cord, only her cord isn't letting it in. It's suffocating her soul. Spike, it's horrible. You have to stop it. You have to do something." Xander could feel his words slip out faster and faster as he started backing away from the glass wall, his heart pounding heavily in his chest as he watched with horror.

"Pet, blink it away. Focus on me," Spike's voice demanded, but Xander couldn't look away from the slow death in the other half of the room.

"Pet," Spike snarled, and strong fingers wrapped around the back of Xander's neck and pulled him around so he was facing the other way. The double helix of burgundy and midnight of Spike's perfectly twined cord distracted him from the horror. "Focus on me. Put that sight away." Xander blinked, and Spike's face came into focus. Glancing around, Xander could see Jimenez and Riley both staring at him with undisguised horror.

"We'll keep watch," Jim said as he pulled Blair out of the room.

"We have to get in there. We can't let her… like that," Jimenez said, his teeth clenched.

"Oh, I'm so with you there," Buffy said. "This is where I really like being the Slayer." She stepped forward, but Riley held up a hand.

"One minute," he said as he pulled up his sleeve so that it covered his hand. Then he scrubbed the glass where Xander had pressed his palm to it. "I’m not making it easy for them to find him," he said simply as he finished and stepped back.

"I so hate this secret military crap," Buffy muttered and then she sent a side kick into the center of the glass wall. A deep crack thundered in the small room and a spiderweb of white spread across the wall. "Way to not get the job done," Buffy huffed unhappily before she aimed a second kick at the same spot. A section of glass shattered, the metal grid ripping so that there was a rough and dangerous hole connecting the two halves of the room.

"That's impact-resistant. It should take a tank…" Jimenez stopped and just looked at Buffy. She smiled sweetly.

"It's good to be the Slayer." Then her eyes slid to Clark and all expression slipped off her face.

"I'll do this. Spike, take him outside," Riley said as he pulled out his sidearm.

"Riley," Buffy said quietly.

"We don't leave our own for the hostiles," Riley repeated as he stepped toward the hole.

"Riley, no, wait," Xander said as he pushed away from Spike.

"She'd want this," Riley said as he turned emotionless eyes toward Xander. Years ago, Xander had been fooled when Buffy looked at him with those eyes. He'd actually believed that she didn't feel anything for them anymore, but he was older and wiser now.

"If we can't help her, she would want you to do it. But can we leave the last resort for last? I mean, I might not be able to actually help, and a little part of me is really scared that if I try to help I might do something really stupid like give the Mazzikim the opening it needs to get into Clark's soul, but…" Xander stopped and chewed his lip.

"You think you can help her?" Jimenez asked hopefully.

"I think it's a long shot," Xander said carefully.

"Then bloody well let soldier-boy take care of this," Spike grumbled, but he didn't pull Xander away.

"If I have to, I will. I just need to try," Xander said as he looked to Spike, hoping he understood because Spike was the one who he needed to convince. Spike's demon didn't care about Clark. Spike's demon just wanted Xander safe, and Xander could see that need tugging on Spike as emotion made him tighten his lips.

"Right then, Finn goes in and makes sure she can't get her hands on you if she turns, right?" Spike asked as he stepped forward. Xander nodded. "Bloody hate this," Spike muttered softly, and Xander could just imagine how much Spike hated the fact that only Riley could protect him from a Mazzikim.

"I'll protect him," Riley promised as he stepped forward and rested his hand on Xander's shoulder. "And I'll finish it if I have to."

Spike reached up and rested a hand against Xander's cheek without sparing Riley a look. "Pet, I know you'd save the world if ya could, but ya won't save anyone if you don't look out for yourself first. If she starts turning, you pull that power out of her and let Finn finish it, you understand?" Spike stared at Xander.

"Got it," Xander agreed weakly. A part of him wanted to leave and let the others deal with this, but he knew he'd never be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try. He turned toward the glass wall, and Riley used his sleeve-covered arm to push chunks of hanging glass free before stepping through to the other side.

"Okay, you do know that I don't know what I'm doing here, yes?" Xander asked as he caught a glimpse of Jimenez's hopeful expression.

"I know that you're going to do your best and that if she dies it won't be because of anything you did or didn't do," Riley answered calmly. When Xander stepped through, Riley rested his hand on Xander's shoulder and guided him to the side of the bed.

"Man with friends like yours, you so need to find a new job," Xander muttered to the silent woman. "Well, except for Riley and Jimenez because they like you, but your other friends, in the not-friends but co-workers and superiors way—they're not doing right by you." Xander blinked into his Shamanic vision.

The infected cord bent away, and Xander reached out for it only to find Riley's blue cord suddenly tangling with his blue cord, and all the blue pushed Clark's cord farther away like two magnets repelling each other. Xander blinked away the sight.

"Okay, it's not that I don't appreciate the overprotectiveness here, because I do, although I realize that I'm in danger of losing my man-membership for saying that. However, I can't work with her cord if you don't stop with the trying to get it away from me," Xander crossed his arms and glared at Riley, who didn't even bother to deny it.

"Fine, but one word, and I'll finish this," Riley finally answered after a long silence he walked to the foot of the bed, which gave him a nice clear shot of Clark, and the idea of Riley shooting someone who was unconscious in a bed really did creep him out more than he wanted to admit. Jimenez whispered something to Riley, but Xander ignored them and blinked into his vision again.

This time Clark's cord didn't retreat when Xander reached out. The shadowed cord slid across his fingers leaving his skin chilled and slimyish. Tightening his hold on the cord, Xander slid a fingernail into the edge and tried to catch an edge of the shadow as it flowed around the cord. The first three times, the shadow slid away from him, feeling like a live eel under his hands, but the fourth time, he could feel his fingers catch the edge of something that felt suspiciously chicken-skinish. His fingers sank into it and he shivered with the cold as he pulled carefully. A chunk of shadow twisted in his hand like a worm, helpless until Xander's own cord drifted close, and then it darted out of his grip and clung to the new cord. Before Xander could react, a half dozen other strings had migrated from Clark to himself, and the shadows danced across the blue of his cord feeling like ants running down his spine.

Xander backed away, and almost didn't hear Riley.

"Xander!" Riley almost shouted, and Xander blinked away the sight. Spike was inside the hole in full gameface, and Riley was between Xander and Clark, his gun up and ready to fire even though she was still motionless. Buffy had ripped a leg off the chair and looked ready to beat to death whatever needed beating.

"No, no, I think I actually got some of the infection off her," Xander said as he stepped forward and laid a hand on Riley's arm. His guts rolled and he backed away from his Sentinel.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Riley asked as he turned away from Clark and faced Xander, his head cocked as he obviously used his senses on Xander.

"Um, I think some of the infection got on me, and the infected bits aren't fond of… you know," Xander finished lamely as he realized they had company. Jimenez stood on the far side of the glass watching with his hand on his weapon, but he wasn't shooting anyone yet, which was good. Surprising but good.

"Come here," Riley holstered his gun and held an arm out, but Xander couldn't do it. Blinking into his vision, he could see the shadow bits pulling away from Riley, their efforts pulling at his own cord. Going on the theory that what was bad for the shadow was good for him, Xander forced himself to step into Riley's embrace even with the oogy-boogy crawling across his skin. Spike stepped closer and rested a hand on Xander's arm, and Xander watched all four cords circle, his own shadowed cord nearly swallowed in Riley's cord as Spike's double helix wrapped around them both.

Xander gasped as the contact stripped the shadows from his soul, leaving him feeling sensitive like the fresh, pink skin under a newly picked scab. When the shivering discomfort finally stopped, he sagged into Riley's embrace and reached out his hand for Spike. Spike interlocked their fingers and held on tightly.

"Please tell me that no one has been in here because I may have felt bad that they didn't let anyone hold her hand, but if someone was in here holding her hand, I'm so going to have to check them for infection." Xander looked to Jimenez as he rested his head against Riley's shoulder. Jimenez's eyebrows had pretty much disappeared into his hairline.

"She's been in total isolation. Minimal contact and never without isolation suits," Jimenez offered.

"Do we need to check the others?" Riley asked him. Spike just drew soothing circles on Xander's arm.

"I don't think so. I mean, the infection only jumped to me after I pulled on it, so I don't think it's going to jump easily, which begs the question of how they got infected in the first place.

"I don't know, Sport," Riley said, picking up Jim's nickname for him. "I wasn't with the team, and the report the general gave me was vague enough to be laughable. I pressed for more details and got the infamous 'need to know' line."

"I was with the team. We were supposed to pick up a Shaman. He was supposedly some big magical sort, and the general wanted him for the Sunnydale mission," Jimenez offered softly. "It was an eyes only briefing, top security."

"Sunnydale?" Buffy demanded. "There is no Sunnydale, there's just a big Hellmouth sized crater in the middle of nowhere. He knows this, yes?"

Jimenez dropped his gaze to the ground. "He wants to excavate. He thinks there's something powerful down there he can use to figure out where you got your power. You weren't strong until you hit Sunnydale, so he thinks he can find whatever gave you superpowers and…"

"Well, shit. Okay, this is the part where I go ballistic, right? I think I'm entitled to some ballisticness," Buffy demanded as she looked around the room.

"Feel free, luv," Spike offered. "Them banging around a hellmouth, closed or not, is soddin' idiotic, and for one, I say they deserve whatever they find."

"And nothing in Sunnydale gave me power. I was born a potential slayer, and when the last slayer died, I became the slayer, no mystical objects required. Whatever is buried down there… so not of the good in a huge way." Buffy leaned back against the wall and thumped her head against it a couple of times. "We finish up here, and then we go and sabotage the Sunnydale archeological dig. You know, I was planning on a vacation. Me, Riley, warm beach, lots of sand."

"Buffy," Riley said sadly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll send a baby Slayer on vacation for me," she shrugged. "Duty calls, but can we take care of this pending disaster before we move on to the next one?"

"Speaking of pending disasterage, the infection is off me, but let's not have anyone else get too close to her because I do not want the rest of you getting infected," Xander sighed. He pushed out of Riley's arms and reclaimed his hand from Spike as he faced Clark again.

"Are you going to be okay?" Buffy asked. "This is so not worth dying for."

"Yeah, she is Buff. You know you'd risk your life for one victim," Xander said quietly before he went back to Clark's bed. Xander repeated the process of pulling slimy bits of shadow free so often that his arms ached from the struggle and his own soul ached in a way he couldn't describe. If he felt this bad having bits and pieces of the Mazzikim cling to him between Riley-hugs, Xander didn't even want to think how crappy Clark felt. Hopefully the drippy things were giving her some good drugs. Right now, Xander wouldn't mind a few good drugs himself.

By the time he pulled the last of the shadow free and ran his hands down the length of Clark's weakened cord, Xander could barely stand and his shoulder screamed in pain. Xander stepped back from the bed, and Riley's arms went around him, giving him that temporary creepiness that melted into relief as the Sentinel's presence drove the shadows away. If anything, Clark looked worse now, dark shadows making her eyes look sunk into her face and her skin a pale yellow.

"Is she going to be okay?" Jimenez asked from his spot sitting on the ground with his back to the glass. Buffy was balancing on the three-legged chair and Spike was leaning against the wall. Xander was guessing more time had passed than he thought. He glanced down at the sleeping woman.

"I don't know," he admitted. "She's not infected any more, but she's really weak. If the doctors can get her body healed, she'll be fine, but I'm not sure I pulled the Mazzikim off her in time."

"You've given her a chance, that's all she would want. She's a fighter. You yourself said she was taking the Mazzikim out with her rather than give in, so she'll fight even harder now," Riley said with confidence. "I've never known Susan to give up in a fight."

"She can be one seriously hard-headed woman," Jimenez agreed with a chuckle.

"Yeah, but she's so quiet about it, you don't know you've been bulldozed until an hour after she's gotten her way," Riley said fondly. With one arm still wrapped around Xander's waist, he reached forward and rested a hand on her arm. "She's running a temperature. We should get out of here before one of the medical alarms goes off and we have nurses to deal with," he said.

"Major?" Jimenez asked. Riley looked over.

"You not coming back to the unit… it's more than just the general, isn't it?"

Riley didn't answer right away, he just tightened his arm around Xander's waist. "It isn't an infection, it isn't dangerous," Riley answered without actually giving an answer.

Jimenez nodded. "I guessed that. Your friend there could pull an infection off you with that weird hocus pocus hand magic, right?" Jimenez waved his hands in the air so that it looked like he was trying to trace a flower in the air. Xander looked at him in confusion.

"Hand magic?" Xander asked.

Spike started laughing as he stepped through the hole in the glass and headed for the door. "Yeah, pet, you looked like a right Shaman doin' that." Spike made similar hand gestures in midair, and Xander realized that both men were imitating him. "Give you some feathers and a rattle, and you'd get along perfect with that git Giles hired for the ghost problem."

"Oh god, I looked like a weird dork, didn't I?" Xander asked in horror as Riley pushed him toward the hole in the wall.

"You looked like a man risking his own life to save a woman he doesn't even know," Riley insisted, but Xander was way more convinced by Spike's smirk. Yep, he'd looked like a dork. It was just a good thing that years of high school had prepared him for it.

Buffy opened the door to the hall, and Jim stood just on the other side with a serious expression on his face. "Finn, can I talk to you out here, without him?" Jim glared at Jimenez, making it pretty clear that he didn't like the man. Although really, Xander realized, Jim pretty much looked at everyone like that when he first met them. It was just special people like Buffy who he continued glaring at after he got to know them.

"Uh, sure," Riley said as he headed for the door. Spike caught Xander's wrist and pulled him out of Riley's arms at the door, and for a second, Riley stopped and looked ready to pull Xander back into a hug, but then he blinked and followed Jim out into the hall. Spike and Xander followed, leaving Buffy to babysit Jimenez. Jim walked to a door and stood in front of it with his arms crossed.

"You want to explain this to me, Finn?" Jim asked. Xander looked from Riley to Jim in confusion, but Riley looked just as confused.

"Explain what?"

Jim tapped the door. "What do you hear, Finn?" he asked.

"Tapping."

"Oh man, listen to the far side, it's like echolocation," Blair explained. "Listen to the tap bouncing off the walls on the far side of the door."

Jim tapped again.

Riley shook his head. "I don't know what I'm listening for."

"You're listening to the sound of that tap echoing off a deep staircase. Whatever is making us uncomfortable is down there. What is this general of yours playing at?" Jim asked, and that was his cranky face.

"Wait, you mean there's more weirdness? Is the general just collecting weirdness as a hobby, because I could get him a nice starter set of stamps," Xander offered. Jim reached over and rested a hand on Xander's arm.

"Let's get out of here," Riley suggested, and Xander could tell from the way Riley was looking at him that what the Sentinel really meant was let's get the exhausted Guide away from here.

"I'm not leaving an enemy at my back," Jim said seriously. "Whatever is down there, it's setting off every alarm I have."

"No joke," Blair made a face. "I'm guessing this is a take care of it now or take care of it later situation because even his spirit guide is growling at the door."

"Spirit guide? You mean you can see the cat from your dreams?" Riley asked in a tone of voice that clearly called Jim's sanity into question. Jim spared Blair one dirty look, and Xander could read that pretty easily as 'you just had to tell them, didn't you, Chief?' Blair just looked back utterly unfazed.

"It's not from my dreams. The spirit guide is just as important as your actual Guide," Jim insisted. "And once you find yours, if you ignore it, I can promise you that bad things will happen." Jim reached out and draped his arm across Blair's shoulder as his expression made it very clear the subject was closed. "Right now, the spirit guide wants to take care of whatever is behind this door. So, get that friend of yours and find out what the government is hiding in here." Riley nodded and headed back to the room.

"I miss simple missions. Go in, blow up a school, get out. Nothing is simple anymore," Xander complained softly as he leaned into Spike, his whole body one giant ache.

Chapter 39

"Are you sure there's another level below us?" Jimenez asked doubtfully. Jim's face went from cranky to just flat out homicidal, and the man held out his hand in a placating gesture. "Okay, I'm believing you, but I don't know anyone who's mentioned a lower level. There are a few people left from the Sunnydale disaster, and they tell stories that make the rest of us steer clear of anything that even smells like a secret project."

"Graham and Thompson transferred out, I turned in my official resignation, Ellis was promoted to Washington, Scott, Peterson, and Walczak were all killed on mission with Petru going on long-term disability. Who's actually left?" Riley asked.

"Sounds like a whitewash job," Jim pointed out. "That happened in my unit, everyone ended up dead or leaving the service. The higher ups were running a game they couldn't afford to lose, and those of us who'd been around a while posed a danger because we might put things together." Jim just looked thoughtful, but Blair had an expression of sympathetic pain on his face as he leaned into his partner.

"Seems likely," Riley agreed. "We don't actually lose many people, not until Sungsen, and we've lost a lot of the old Initiative personnel."

Jimenez looked at Riley for several seconds before answering. "Okay, if what you're suggesting is true. If the general is going Maggie Walsh on us, what exactly are we supposed to do?" he asked.

"You don't do anything," Buffy said. "Go get some dinner. Go watch a movie with someone, but do something that establishes that you're somewhere else."

"Oh, and you have a plan to deal with this?" Jimenez asked.

"We do our best work without plans," Spike said with a wicked smile with just enough fang to make Jimenez back up a step. He looked toward Riley.

"Spike is one of the good guys," Riley sighed. "Annoying as hell, but on the right side," he added as he gave Spike a dirty look. Spike just smiled wider, showing most of a fang. "And Buffy's right, you need to establish an alibi. The magic that disguises us isn't going to cover the hole in the wall back there, so when the nurses come through for a bedcheck, the alarms are going to go off. Get yourself out of here."

"And leave you to clean up the mess? Not happening," Jimenez insisted.

"Ray," Riley said, his voice verging on annoyed.

"Major," Jimenez returned in the same tone of voice as he crossed his arms over his chest, which just happened to show off some seriously scary arm muscles. Yep, it didn't take demonic bits for guys to do the dominance bit, Xander realized. "Karen is gone. My family died years ago, and Karen's family can't look at me without seeing their dead daughter and their unborn grandson. And now, I find out that the general I've been fighting for is doing something that goes against everything I believe in. Do you really think I'm going to walk away from this? What the fuck do I have to lose?"

"Your life," Buffy said quickly.

"I risk that every day, lady."

"No," Riley added, holding up a hand to keep Buffy from answering that. "She means you won't be able to come back to this life. They find out that you helped with this, and they'll bury you under the stockade, and that's if you're lucky. What happened to Forrest and Sungsen, don't think that it's not going to happen again."

"Oh man, I don't even want to know what happened with Forrest, but if you're suggesting the government stands back while soldiers get turned into demons like with Sungsen, I'm voting against this president next election," Blair complained. "And I don't blame Jimenez for being willing to walk away from this life. This sucks."

"The kid is right; I'm not leaving you to fight this, Major. I don't know why you trust a vampire at your back, but I don't, and your Shaman looks ready to pass out with exhaustion."

Spike's arm tightened around Xander as he tried to stand up a little straighter, but the fact was that he was pretty close to running out of steam.

"The longer we debate this, the more time someone has to find the mess we made. We're pressing our luck now. So let's soddin' get in there and get this mess taken care of before someone finds us and we've got a bigger mess ta deal with," Spike complained.

"I'm seconding that," Buffy agreed. "We've been here for over two hours, and someone has to check on Clark eventually. So, let's get in there and take care of whatever needs taking care of."

"And after this, you lose my number," Jim said darkly as he gave Buffy a nasty look.

"I won't even call to get you the money for that tiny little scratch in the truck," Buffy smiled sweetly as she pulled the donut like disk thing out of her jacket and held it to the door. The thing flashed and she tucked it away. "Okay, security is off, so does anyone have any ideas about getting in there? I really don't want to dislocate my own knee trying to kick down solid steel."

"I can override the lock," Riley said as he pulled a small tool kit out of his jacket and knelt in front of the door.

"Major?" Jimenez asked in surprise.

"I survived the Initiative. I learned to not trust locked doors," Riley said as he took the number pad apart and worked with the wires. "I just didn't think I had to go opening doors around here. Spike, keep him up here. If the rest of us can take care of this thing, we will, but he's too tired to get in the middle of a fight."

"Don't bloody tell me how to take care of him," Spike snapped. "And bloody right he's staying up here. Boy can't even put one foot in front of the other, and after he fought off a Mazzikim, the least you can do is take care of the nasty down there."

"Play nice and share," Buffy sighed as the door clicked open. "If you're coming with us," she said to Jimenez, "then remember that me Slayer. That means if I tell you to duck, you duck. You don't go looking to Riley to confirm my orders."

Jimenez did exactly what Buffy told him not to and looked toward Riley. Buffy rolled her eyes. "Men," she snorted.

"Sergeant, Buffy is in command. In the field, you do exactly what she says, no matter how unwise it seems. We have a clear chain of command here, understand?"

"Yes, sir," Jimenez answered. "I know how to follow orders. But unlike you guys, I need to get a weapon." Spike reached into his coat and pulled out a pretty nasty looking short machine gun."

"You… but you're a vampire," Jimenez said in shock as Spike handed the weapon over.

"Like I said, he's annoying but on the right side, you take his orders too," Riley said as he faced a deep stairwell.

"We'll wait on the landing," Spike offered as the others headed down the stairs. "If ya get in trouble, scream like a girl and I'll come save your sorry arse."

Xander didn't catch Riley's answer as the others started down the stairs.

"Chief, you wait here," Jim said as he pressed a hand to Blair's chest.

"Oh man, don't start," Blair said as he crossed his arms. "You're the one who wanted me to go undercover. You *know* I don't need babysitting," he complained.

"Chief, I knew how to control the situation that time. And you don't need babysitting. You just need to say back when we're talking about a demon. I don't want to be wondering where you are. Besides, Xander's staying here."

"Xander's done something useful," Blair grumped unhappily.

Jim brought a hand up and rested it against the side of Blair's neck, fingers curving around to the back. "You taught him how to use those gifts of his, and you taught Riley how to control his senses well enough to function in the field, so you've done a lot, Chief. Now it's my turn to do something more useful than threatening to write Buffy a ticket. Wait here."

"Man, Mother Ellison strikes again," Blair sighed but he sat heavily on the step.

"I'll be back," Jim promised before he turned and headed down the stairs. Xander sat next to him.

"If you're stayin' here, I'm going to get close enough to see what they're up to," Spike said as he pulled a cigarette out and stuck it in his mouth. With the army outfit and the bleached hair and black nail polish, it made Spike look pretty damn strange. "If anyone comes through the door, remember that the mojo will make them want to not notice you. Just use your powers to encourage that, and you'll be fine," Spike told Blair, and then he headed down the stairs, his heavy boots weirdly quiet on the stairs.

"Left in the truck again," Xander joked softly.

"Yeah, and I'm thinking it's smart in your case. You look wiped out," Blair offered as his hand rested against Xander's thigh.

Xander tilted his head to look at his friend and one-time lover. "Yeah. But you know, I got to save one. There have been so many I couldn't save that I forgot how good it feels to save one."

Blair studied him for a second and then smiled. "I hear you. Sometimes I forget just how much like Jim you really are. You guys have guilt complexes that could eat Cleveland."

"Don't say that around me. Coming from the hellmouth, I firmly believe that saying things like that leads to things eating Cleveland, which we just don't have time to deal with right now," he laughed weakly before he pushed himself to his feet. "Okay, let's go see what trouble they got into."

"Whoa buddy, we are officially in the truck, here," Blair protested.

"This is me being all truck-like or in-the-truck-like, but I just want the truck to be a little closer," Xander shrugged. "I promise to stay well behind Spike."

"Yeah, and Spike is going to bite me for letting you go down there at all. Xander, you look like you just ran three marathons and a triathlon in one day."

"That would be kinda hard to do in one day, wouldn't it?" Xander asked as he reached the first landing and followed the stairs around another set of turns. Someone had buried the last level deep.

"That's the point. Xander, this is not smart on a grand scale."

"Yeah," Xander said as he smiled at his partner in disobedience, "but you know you want to see what Jim is up to. We'll stay safely fray-adjacent."

"Yeah, well you're explaining that logic to Jim because, man, I am so not going there."

Xander headed down the last set of stairs and stopped outside a door barely cracked.

"JUMP!" Buffy yelled. Xander turned and looked at Blair who had a horrified expression. Xander nudged the door open onto an enormous room and watched Spike sail into a huge, blobby, Mt. Everest shaped demon with short tentacles circling the base of his mountain-like mass. Spike got in several strikes and then leapt back. Riley was caught by one foot and Jimenez was firing his weapon at the base of the tentacle that was holding Riley, which didn't seem to do much but make the nearby tentacles wave around more.

"Aim for the bloody center," Spike shouted. Jimenez's gun went silent for a second and as Spike leaped in again, Jimenez fired. Spike back flipped out of the way. "Bloody watch where you're aimin'!" he shouted.

Xander looked and Buffy was on the far side, wielding her broken chair leg against a tentacle that had Jim by both feet. Jim was calmly placing shot after shot from his handgun into the creature's center. His gun ran out and he loaded a new clip even as the beast pulled him closer one inch at a time.

"Jim!" Blair cried as he ran into the room. Darting around Spike who made a grab for him, Blair got behind Jim and grabbed his belt.

"Chief, get out of here!" Jim snapped as he put three more shots into the blob.

"No way, man," Blair said as he set his feet against the floor and started pulling for all he was worth. Jim just calmly fired two more shots before Buffy moved in and attacked the tentacle with renewed energy.

"I'm low on ammo," Jimenez called. Spike pulled a clip from his pocket and tossed it in the soldier's direction before he leaped again, landing on the demon's big blobby middle and punching deep into the folds with his knife. A tentacle reached up for him, and Spike leaped away again right before Jimenez fired a new round into the creature.

"Spike!" Xander called. "Riley's in trouble."

"Can bloody see that. Get out of here!" Spike snarled. Jimenez's gun fell silent, and Spike leaped onto the creature again, stabbing so deep that his arm was purply with demon blood. Xander darted forward and grabbed Riley around the waist, adding his own weight to Riley's struggles just like Blair was fighting to keep Jim away from the creature. Jim and Blair and Buffy were having better luck though because Jim was a good two feet from the mountain shaped beast, and Riley only had six or seven inches to go.

"Xander, get away," Riley snapped as he brought the heel of his free boot down on the tentacle, beating it as hard as he could.

"No getting eaten!" Xander insisted as he worked harder to pull Riley free. The soldier grunted but Xander couldn't get enough leverage to pull him free. Blinking into his Shamanic sight, Xander could see Jimenez's greeny-aqua cord streaked with mustard yellow fear and Riley's blue cord, and a deep black pool where the demon cord should be. Each tentacle undulated with its own miniature cord and Xander reached out and grabbed the soul cord attached to the tentacle holding Riley. Cold shot up his arm as Xander pulled, and suddenly Riley was sliding back, and Xander was sliding forward.

"Xander!" Riley screamed. Xander let go of the soul cord, but suddenly couldn't pull back. He felt warm hands around his waist, pulling at him. Blinking out of his Shamanic vision, Xander saw that the cord had grabbed his wrist and was now pulling him toward the demon.

"Spike!" Riley yelled as he threw his body over Xander right before a ripple raised a cave-shaped opening at the base of the demon and Xander was pulled in, Riley on top of him.

"Fuck!" Riley cursed. Xander felt something heavy fall across his legs and then they were in the dark.

"Riley? Riley, are you okay?" Xander asked as he reached up. Riley was inches above him, kneeling across him. When Xander felt Riley's arms shaking from fatigue, Xander figured out that he was bearing the weight of the demon, keeping it off Xander.

"Oh fuck," Xander agreed. Blinking into Shamanic vision again, he looked at their small flesh prison. Riley's face was twisted with pain, and a drop of sweat slid from Riley's face to fall onto Xander's arm. He didn't have much room to work, but Xander reached out into the inky black pool of the demon's soul and ripped, digging his fingers into the icy cold and pulling. His elbow hit Riley's chest, and the Sentinel nearly screamed with pain.

"Oh no. Riley, you have to dial down touch," Xander said as he abandoned the demon attack and put his hand on Riley's chest. "Riley, I know you're hurting right now, but you have control over that pain. Find the dial for touch. See that in your mind. It looks just like that weird radio thing of your father's, with the black dials. What number is it on?"

"Eight," Riley grunted the word.

"Okay, just listen to me. Move that down to seven and everything hurts a little less. You can feel it move under your fingers, right?"

Riley didn't answer as he panted, but Xander kept going.

"Okay, slide it down to six. I know that the knob is stubborn, but you can turn it. Turn it down to six and feel the pain fade because it doesn't matter. You have control over it."

Blair had told him to go slow, to confirm that Riley was with him on each number change, but Xander just didn't have time.

"Turn the dial down to five and then four and then three. You can do it. Make the dial move. You have control over your dials, so do this for me, Riley. Turn the pain down so that you can just feel it. Five to four to three, Ri. Come on, you can do it."

Xander was starting to panic until Riley took a deep breath. "Three, got it," he agreed.

"Okay, we're going to be fine, Xander said as he felt something brush against his feet which were still outside the creature.

Riley didn't answer, but then he was kinda busy trying to keep the weight of Mt. St. Demon off Xander's face. Xander reached out again, carefully digging his fingers into the demon's soul until his fingers brushed the rough skin of the actual beast. Since Xander couldn't effectively pull, he settled for shredding the bits of soul he could rip free. The skin trapping them rippled, and light appeared as the edge of the monster raised for a second.

Riley gasped for air, and Xander shredded faster, his fingers getting tangled like when Willow had tried to teach him cat's cradle with that multicolored yarn of hers. Xander had ended up pretty much tying his own hands together.

Above them, the skin shuddered again, and Xander felt someone grab his feet. "No! Riley!" Xander yelled as someone pulled at him. Xander reached out for Riley's shirt, and the man shoved his hand away. The move cost Riley his leverage, and he crashed to the ground, crushed by the weight as Xander slid free.

"Riley!" Xander yelled as he found himself face to face with a gamefaced Spike. Buffy knelt at the side of the dead demon and forced the end of the chair leg into the crack between the demon and the floor and started leveraging it up.

"Get him back!" Spike snarled, and Xander found warm hands pulling him away from the demon.

"Riley's still under there!" Xander struggled against the hands.

"Sport, calm down. I'm not letting you go. You need to give them space to work, and you're too tired to be of any help," Jim said. Xander couldn't breathe. No. No, he couldn't lose Riley like this. Buffy was crying as she drove her lever in deeper and used all her slayer strength to lift the edge. The tears rolled down her face, but she didn't make a sound. Spike put his back to the dead demon and grabbed the edge, pulling until the muscles on the sides of his neck corded.

"No, no, he can't be dead," Xander whispered even though he knew the words wouldn't help. He'd prayed the same words when Rebekah had been burned and lay dying in his arms. He'd prayed those words when he'd come back to a dust village and found the woman he'd grown to respect lying dead in the dust, flies gathering around the blood that had pooled between her legs. The words never helped. Xander couldn't catch his breath and the world started going grey at the edges as he slid down to the floor, Jim's arms still around him.

"Sport, don't count him out yet," Jim said, and a large hand brushed the hair away from Xander's face.

Spike was struggling, but the only had the edge of the creature four or five inches off the ground. Jimenez was on his stomach, reaching under the mass, but it wasn't working.

"Chief, take him," Jim said, and Xander found himself wrapped in Blair's arms. He leaned his head against Blair's shoulder and tried to hold his breath as he imagined how long it would take for Riley to suffocate out there. There was a series of pops from the stairwell, and then Jim came back in with a section of handrail, the edges ragged where Jim had blasted that metal to get it free. Xander could feel his muscles tremble as Jim drove his own impromptu lever as deep as he could and then he applied his own muscle to the mass. The opening lifted another inch.

"I can feel him. Just a little more," Jimenez called, his own head now under the beast. Spike let go, and Jim gave a grunt as he struggled under the new weight, but the Spike was there, putting his shoulder under Jim's lever and forcing the mass up another six inches.

Jimenez pushed himself deeper with his toes so that now his whole upper body was under the creature.

"I got him!" Jimenez called triumphantly. Xander watched as the man's legs squirmed ineffectively.

"Got it?" Jim asked Spike. Spike gave a curt nod and Jim let go of the rail and grabbed Jimenez by his belt. Heaving as hard as he could, Jim pulled him a few inches out.

"I can't hold it," Buffy cried out.

"Chief!" Jim called as he doubled his efforts, leaning back and putting all his muscle into it.

"The beta boys to the rescue," Blair said as he gave Xander a push, and he grabbed one of Jimenez's legs and started pulling as hard as he could. Xander grabbed the other leg, but he could feel his muscles tremble even as he threw everything he had into pulling Jimenez cl