Unique
Rated SAFE
Written for Nerowill
"Is anyone else disturbed by this latest," Buffy paused, not really sure what to call it when one of your best friend's lover's ex's made your gender change… again, "thing?" she finally settled on.
Willow slowly raised her hand, but Oz just shrugged as he flipped the page on his book and Faith didn't even pause in sharpening her knife.
"I mean, I got used to the Xander being a girl thing, and then he turned into a boy, and now with him being a girl again, I'm wondering how many times I'm going to have to make this same adjustment."
"Pronoun whiplash," Willow agreed softly as she wrinkled her nose.
"I was rather more concerned about Drusilla's involvement and why the vampiress would choose to interfere," Giles said as he sighed and pushed away another volume on rituals and love potions. "Although, considering the alternative, I'm grateful she chose to emasculate Xander rather than eviscerate him," he mused.
"The only thing I wonder about is what happens if he's having sex when he shifts. If he goes from boy to girl, I'm thinking Spike is just going to be a very frustrated vamp, but if Xander's a girl, and then he breaks out with the boy parts, how's that work?" Faith asked as she got a curious expression on her face.
"Ew. God, now I need brain bleach," Buffy said as she flinched away from the thought of Spike and Xander and sex. Yes, they might have it when no one was looking, but Buffy really preferred to put their sex life in the same category as her homework. If she didn't look at or acknowledge its existence, it didn't actually exist.
"Oh come on, don't tell me you weren't wondering," Faith snorted.
"I wondered," Oz said as he nodded slowly without looking up from the text he studied in hopes of finding some reference to Celtic binding rituals.
"Oz!" Willow pulled away from Oz in horror. Oz shrugged as Willow stared at him with an open mouth.
"I really had hoped to never imagine any part of their sex lives at all, so I must thank you properly for putting that unwanted image in my mind," Giles offered from his side of the table as he stood up and closed the book he had just opened.
"No prob," Faith answered with a wide smile. Buffy watched as Giles' back stiffened. Funny, before Faith showed up, Giles had been big with the 'remodel Buffy' into the perfect slayer plan, but now, with Faith, Buffy suddenly didn't have as much to worry about. She could always count on Faith to distract her watcher with something totally inappropriate. "But really, considering that I live in the house with them, you'd think I'd get some sort of peek." Faith finally finished.
"And I'm rather relieved that you haven't." Giles paused, "Surprised, but relieved."
"Yeah, I got the audio track with the moans and screams of pleasure and the crack of a whip every now and then, but no visuals," Faith said after a second. She had timed it so that Giles had just brought the teacup to his mouth, and he choked and spluttered tea all over the table.
"The books," Willow gasped as she snatched old volumes off the table. For the first time, Buffy picked up her book, using it to hide her own smile.
"Yes, well—" Giles seem to run out of words, but then the library doors opened. Angel walked in, and suddenly Buffy didn't care nearly as much about Xander or Xander-sex or even Xander-gender because Angel's expression was on the dark side of apocalyptic.
"Did you find Drusilla?" Giles asked.
Angel nodded as he looked around the room.
"So, what's crazy girl got to say for herself?" Faith asked.
"She said Xander is the way he needs to be for the stars to sing their lullabies," Angel shrugged.
"Okay, Xander needs to be shifting back and forth between boy and girl like some sort of thingy that goes back and forth… you know, like when you're playing piano," Buffy mimicked the motion, frustrated when the word slipped away from her. She remembered staring at that thing when she was five and her mom made her take lessons. Tick… tick… tick… tick.
"Metronome," Willow offered.
"Exactly," Buffy said with a smile. "Boy… girl… boy… girl…" She said each as she made her hand go back and forth like the rocking part of a metronome.
Angel didn't answer right away. "She's a seer," Angel said, but he sounded uncertain.
"We are all aware of her powers," Giles prompted.
"She wouldn't do anything to hurt Spike, and that means she won't hurt Xander, so if she says he needs this—" Angel let his words trail off.
"While she might not hurt her childe, I don't trust her to act in Xander's best interests," Giles argued.
"Chill, G-man. It's a vampire thing. Spike belongs to Xander, so crazy-girl might kill him and take Spike back, but she won't put the hurt on Xander because then Spike would have to get involved."
"Faith's right," Angel nodded.
"So, we are to take the word of you and Drusilla that this change is somehow necessary?"
Buffy flinched away from the sarcasm in Giles' voice, and she hated the way the words made Angel shrink back, as if he'd done something wrong.
"And is Drusilla still alive?" Giles demanded. Angel didn't react, and after a second, Giles slumped, the tension draining from the air as he sank into a seat. All the frustration of a moment ago vanished under weariness.
"I can't help but feel like I've failed in some fundamental way."
"It's kinda my fault with the spell and the old skink root and the trying to de-lust me and Xander without telling anyone, not even Xander."
"Yes, I am quite aware of your involvement in this disaster," Giles said as he pulled his glasses off and polished them. Buffy watched while Willow folded in on herself. Oz reached over, his hand finding hers and twining their fingers together until she gave him a small smile.
"Man, you people have got to lighten up," Faith interrupted the solemn mood. "Get laid, go dancing, see the humor in this. I mean, Xander running around sticking his hands down his pants just to check that his parts haven't fallen off when he's not looking… what's not to laugh at?"
"Faith," Angel said, and that sounded like a warning.
"Face it, in the big scheme of things, we have a mayor trying to open a Hellmouth, dozens of vamps running around, Cordelia creating alternate universes, and Giles' ex-best bud poisoning the town with band candy. Put that up against Xander who is actually passing all his classes, happy, and having enough sex to make me several shades of jealous, and I am not used to having to be jealous on that front. So, I'm thinking it's not that big of a deal. Anyway, I'm going to go patrol. Maybe I can talk Spike into a bit of sparring," Faith shoved her knife back into its sheath and sauntered out of the room. Somehow the other slayer took much of the tension with her.
"Xander is happy, which is kinda nice considering that he's had so much not to be happy about in the last couple of years." Willow said.
"But disappearing genitalia can be disturbing," Oz pointed out, and Buffy didn't miss how all the men cringed at that.
"Faith's right. We have real bad guys to chase, and Xander is happy. Mostly." Buffy said to the remaining members.
"There's nothing wrong with being a girl, and Xander was okay with being a girl, so going back and forth is just—" This time, Willow struggled to come up with a word.
"Weird," Buffy offered.
"Totally," Oz added as he pushed his book away.
"But there's nothing actually *wrong* with weird. In fact, it's not really weird so much as different… eccentric… unique, right?" Willow asked, looking from one person to another. Buffy looked over at Angel who had his hands shoved into his coat pockets making him look vulnerable even though he had enough strength in his hands to rip a fledge's head from his body.
"I'm okay with unique," Buffy said.
"It's kinda cool," Oz offered his approval. "Maybe I'll talk to Xander."
"I'm not sure I would characterize it as cool, but I am, at least at this point, willing to admit defeat in finding any solution." Giles started collecting the books together, and Willow handed over the ones she had rescued from the tea.
"So, if we're done with the disturbing, I think I'm going to patrol, too," Buffy said. "Want to come with and watch my back?" Buffy asked Angel. He didn't answer, but when Buffy started towards the library door, he walked beside her. Yeah, unique could be okay, and if Xander had a bit of unique in his life, Buffy could only hope that this time, unique turned out to have a happily ever after in there somewhere.