Thoughts Colored Ugly
Rated ADULT for femdom, slavery, and S&M

check out some Chinese curse words

Jayne was still tender as he walked down the stairs the next morning. River weren't even flinching as she bounded down the steps, but at least she was showing her marks on her face. The jaw Jayne had hit was purple and swollen, but Jayne refused to feel one whit guilty, especially considering that every bone in his body ached. 'Course the ache was better than the one he had been living with. The feel of a body sore from fighting was familiar, not like the way he'd been sore from swinging a shovel and sleeping on a slave mat for three weeks.

River darted ahead and looked into the dining room and then came back to his side, slipping her arm through his as they headed into the dining room. She held a mite bit too tight for how sore he was, but it weren't worth complaining about, especially not when the smell of pancakes and bacon was drifting through the air calling him, and for once he had enough money in his pocket to order whatever he gorram wanted. Some of it were even his.

Walking into the dining room, he looked around and spotted Mal sitting in the corner, his back to the wall. He already had a plate, poking things around the plate with his fork.

"Food bad?" Jayne asked as he sat next to Mal in the corner. River sat with her back to the door, but then Jayne didn't figure she needed to see the door to actually keep an eye out for it. And even if she were distracted, him and Mal would notice trouble quick enough.

"Don't know. Hurt too much to eat," Mal answered with a dark look at River. She smiled sweetly.

"Ain't feeling springtime fresh myself," Jayne agreed as he stretched his back carefully.

"You both deserved it," River announced. Then she reached up and poked her bruised chin. "Me, too," she added. Mal gave a good snort and stabbed a big of chunk of sausage with his fork before shoving it in his mouth.

"We all messed up, and now it's all forgiven," River finished. She smiled at Jayne, and he had to admit that he was feeling forgiving, especially looking at the purple bruise on her face. Might be he felt just a little bad about that, especially knowing that she'd only been emasculating him cause she were jealous. Been a long time since anyone was jealous for wanting him. And remembering back to when the doctor first came on board and Kaylee liked him, Jayne had to admit that when he were jealous, he were a good sight meaner than River ever dreamed of being.

The server came and took their order, and got the money off Jayne before he disappeared again. "Don't feel like my insides are quite right," Mal complained as he chewed.

"You're bruised, not broken," River said without much sympathy. "I wouldn't break the captain. But I might have been a little angry." She looked around the room curiously, returning the stares of the other people without even acknowledging that she was sort of offering an apology.

"Just as long as you don't plan on making kicking my ass a regular feature of your spells," Mal sort of accepted.

"Wasn't planning on it. I wasn't thinking clear last night." River spent the entire time looking around the room and several people were now staring at them, some not even trying to hide their aggression.

Jayne sighed as a man from the next table saw River's multicolored face and promptly glared at him. Weren't worth hitting the man over a look, and Jayne didn't figure the captain or River would take kindly to him starting a fight with some dandy in a suit, not even a short fight, but it were aggravating. "Now everyone thinks I'm a woman beater. I ain't never beat on a woman who weren't trying to beat on me," he complained.

"I think River fits into the category of women trying to beat on you," Mal said slowly. "I ain't sure how this is supposed to work when we get back to the Serenity because if you two are going to be settling your problems with fists, I sure can't afford to replace what you'll be breaking."

"Wasn't figuring on this being a regular feature of the relationship," Jayne said without paying the captain much attention. If these dandies were going to glare at him, least he could do was glare right back until they looked away.

"So how do you plan to handle it if River decides to go whaling on you?"

Jayne looked at the captain and slammed his open hand down on the table hard enough that silverware bounced and the quiet murmurings of a dozen conversations all stopped. "Ain't some helpless sort with no say," Jayne growled. Mal looked at him for a long time as the conversations around them slowly restarted.

"I ain't never said you were helpless," Mal said in his verging on being pissed voice. "Obstreperous, annoying, and occasionally untrustworthy, but never helpless. But dealing with River... ain't an easy thing, and being a registered slave kinda presupposes that you don't have no say in it," Mal finally finished.

River just looked at them and smiled and didn't say anything. Turning around in her chair, she put her knees in the seat and grabbed a glass of juice from the tray of a passing waiter.

"River!" Mal hissed.

"Get me one while you're at it," Jayne suggested. River smiled and handed him the glass as she went back to watching the waiters. The one who got his juice stole spluttered a bit and then hurried away to serve his customers what was left. Jayne drank.

"This ain't the sort of place where you do that," Mal warned.

"I ain't the sort of man who cares. And River, not sure she can even wrap her mind around manners, leastwise not most of the time."

"I can this morning," she said over her shoulder. "Last night I wasn't really paying attention to manners or really thinking straight. I got caught up in my own head and said things I shouldn't be saying."

"I didn't notice you doing much talking at all," Mal muttered to her back because she was still watching and waiting for another glass of juice to come her way. The waiters were avoiding her now so she reached over and took the glass back from Jayne, drinking some before giving it back to him.

"I meant before I went down there. I said things, and Jayne hit me, and it's all okay now." River finally gave up on stealing another juice and dropped back into her seat.

"Ain't as simple as all that," Mal said slowly.

"I reckon it is," Jayne said. "She were acting a little high handed, and we had a meetin' of the minds."

"Wait. I'm confused. Jayne, is she cutting you loose?" Mal sat up and put his fork next to his plate.

"No!" River almost snarled as her smile instantly vanished. "He's mine and I'm keeping him."

Jayne flinched as she grabbed his arm hard enough to make his bruised flesh ache.

"River, you're hurting him," Mal said sharply as he sat forward.

"Ain't nothing," Jayne snorted. "Never knew you were so all-fired worried about me having some bruises. And speaking of, you need to stop acting like you got to protect me from River."

"Someone needs to." Mal crossed his arms as he looked from one of them to the other. "She were out of control last night."

"I was," River agreed before Jayne could say anything. "I got caught up in whispers and I wasn't thinking straight. Sometimes I can hear the whispers of other people's thoughts so clear that I can't find my way back. That's why I like space. All that black and no one's thoughts to push in on me. Just familiar minds sliding past making shadows."

"And it seems like you caught the worst of it last night, captain." Jayne did feel pleasure in pointing that out. "So if someone needs protecting from River, I reckon it's you."

"Seems like half the menfolk at the docks caught the worst of that," Mal shot right back without even a trace of embarrassment.

"Gorram right," River agreed with a smile. Both men stopped and just looked at her. Jayne was finding it hard not to smile.

"Jayne, I do believe you're a bad influence on her," Mal commented as the waiter brought their food. Jayne immediately dug into the huge pile of pancakes. Wasn't but a couple of seconds before he was leaving syrup drips on the front of his new shirt.

"Figure I am," Jayne agreed with his mouth full as he tried to clean himself up with a napkin. "Were a brand new shirt, too," he complained.

"I'm not so young and innocent as you think," River said as she reached over with a damp napkin and helped. Cleaning the drips of syrup involved a bit more rubbing on River's part than Jayne figured were totally necessary, but he just sat and watched Mal's expression as River's wiping worked south, her strokes slowing down as they became less and less about cleaning up after his mess.

"Don't reckon I have any idea what you two are up to, but I can't say I think of either of you as all that innocent." Mal shoved half a sausage in his mouth.

"I plan to seduce Jayne," River offered without any guile, and for a second, Jayne thought they were going to lose the captain as he choked on his mouthful. River watched him with an expression of curiosity as he coughed and spluttered and finally drank so much water that a waiter came over to find out if they needed to call a doctor. Mal's answer weren't even near decent.

Jayne just ate his pancakes and watched in amusement as Mal's temper finally drove the staff away. Fact was that Jayne didn't think he'd probably hold out too much longer, but it were easier having the confrontations with folk when he could claim his conscious was clear, at least clear on this count. This morning, walking up with a warm body in his arms, her curves pressed against him, for those hazy minutes before the rest of him woke up, his body didn't worry about River being too young or too crazy or too gorram unpredictable. For those hazy minutes, it only cared that for the first time in years, there were a woman who cared enough to still be in the bed in the morning. If she'd woken up before him, if she'd slipped her hand under his shirt and opened his pants... he couldn't claim that he weren't interested in her as a woman.

"Captain's all cranky," River announced softly as she started in on her eggs.

"Her seducin' me is more shocking than her raping me?" Jayne asked, mumbling the words around a mouthful of pancakes.

"Never said..."

River reached out and poked Mal's arm. "Thought it. Thought it loud once Jayne told me what you'd said. I wasn't listening to what I sounded like when I talked to you about Jayne, about him being mine, and you got yourself all twisted. Which is only fair because you got Jayne all twisted, but I hit you for that, so I'm not bringing up how you messed up again."

"Just once, wish I could understand one thing that you're gorram saying," Mal muttered before focusing on Jayne. "But her being the curious sort, and buying those chains and talking about you sleeping with her, weren't an unreasonable assumption to make, but seducing..." Mal trailed off unhappily.

"What?" Jayne demanded.

"Seducing is a mite bit more personal," Mal snapped back.

"It is personal." River's voice was small, confused. Mal sighed and looked at her.

"Maybe so, mei-mei, but seducing sounds like you're looking for something Jayne might not be able to give. He ain't the settling down sort."

"I reckon I'm settled down now seeing as how she owns the paper on me, unless I plan to have the law after me," Jayne shrugged.

"The law been after you half your life."

Jayne stopped and thought about that one because it suddenly occurred to him that he was feeling more law-abiding about following River than he had ever been about most laws. He just dismissed the thought. He weren't one for thinking on his own motives. "Yeah, but ain't like anyone actually cares about smugglers. A runaway slave, though..." Jayne shrugged his shoulders. "Ain't like to go anywhere until River gets tired of me and sets me free."

"I won't ever get tired of you. You're mine, I bought you fair and square. And if you get turned around and run, I'll just chain you up until you remember that I won't ever get tired of you." River's words, so matter of factly given, were pretty much the same thing she'd said the night before, but today they just weren't inspiring the panic. He still had that cautious feeling like he were standing up in a boat that weren't too steady, but not panic.

"And don't you go looking at me with pity," Jayne warned, poking his dinner knife in Mal's general direction.

"I just don't truck with slavery. Ain't right, her owning you. Ain't right for anyone to go owning a man. But the longer this goes, the less likely it seems that this is a passing spell of hers."

"Right, wrong... don't matter. Stopped waiting for the 'verse to be fair a long time ago," Jayne pointed out. "I were ready to accept being a farm slave, and I reckon I don't need no pity for having an owner who wants to seduce me. Mind, I ain't interested in having the doc cut off my balls the first time I have a toothache, which is why I'm hesitating on the gettin' seduced part."

"He wou--" Mal stopped. "Niou-se. He'll want to, but he's a doctor. He'll treat you fair."

"If he thinks I were the one doing the seducing, and that the seducing came before her getting her ideas of making this permanent… well, I ain't assuming the doc's that good a' man," Jayne pointed out.

"Sees me as a little girl," River said unhappily. "Jayne's almost as bad, seeing me one minute and then seeing a little girl the next. He's right, I should have a bigger body, something that shows people I'm not that young or that innocent." River stuck the rest of her bacon in her mouth and crossed her legs up under her in her chair. "If I were bigger, he wouldn't have to worry about all of you blaming him for having thoughts," she finished unhappily.

This time it was Jayne's turn to choke. He grabbed his orange juice and drained it as Mal considered him with eyes about as sharp as any Jayne had ever seen. Cao, she couldn't go and say something like that in front of someone stupid. No, she got to go and say it in front of Mal, and from the expression, Mal weren't going to buy that it was just some random babble.

"Why would we blame Jayne? I mean, apart from him going and getting stupid and selling himself as a slave."

"I gorram lost a game, didn't sell myself," Jayne growled.

"If you'd sold yourself, you would have gotten something out of the deal. You done gambled yourself away for nothing," Mal pointed out coldly. Problem being that Jayne couldn't rightly disagree. "Ain't hearing the part where we would blame him for you takin' up with slavers, mei-mei."

"That's Jayne's. I told him I wouldn't take anything that he hasn't given me, and he hasn't given me that part of himself," she said seriously.

"Ai-ya! That works better if you don't go hinting at something being there," Jayne pointed out. River considered him seriously, and Jayne just had to sigh. He figured that he'd wanted Mal long enough that River couldn't rightly separate what he were thinking from what he'd said. Wanted Kaylee, wanted Mal, ended up with River, and somehow Jayne weren't sure yet whether the universe had done him a favor or played one more joke on him. River tilted her head, and Jayne just knew she was in his thoughts with him that second. "And it ain't fair, having you rattling around inside my head. Have gou shi in there that I don't rightly want to share," he sighed.

"She's reading you?" Mal asked.

"Were since before I left Serenity."

"That have something to do with her taking to introducing you to walls?"

"Might be."

Mal pushed back his empty plate and crossed his arm, waiting. Still sitting Indian-style on the chair, River looked back and forth between them.

"Ain't going to ask, but if this is something I need to know as captain, I assume you'd be telling me," Mal said quietly, and Mal's quiet voice always worried Jayne more than any yelling the captain did.

He remembered being locked in that air lock, the captain's voice over that radio as he explained why Jayne was going to die, explaining that Mal took it as a personal betrayal that Jayne had tried selling out the Tams, that Jayne had fucked up but good. That were a voice Jayne still sometimes heard in his nightmares. And part of him still didn't understand why Mal hadn't done it. Mal had led him to a quiet place in his own mind, a place where he could look at death and accept that he deserved it, and then Mal had gone and let him live. Still didn't make no sense to him.

"That never made him tell before," River interrupted the quiet that had fallen over their conversation, her eyes still focused on Jayne. Jayne put his fork down and glanced around the room. Weren't anything new to look at, and eventually he focused on Mal again, the captain's arms crossed as he waited with an expression that didn't leave much room for avoiding.

"Figure you already know I got ugly stuff in here, stuff she's been sorting through," Jayne said as he tapped his head.

"Ain't one to talk myself," Mal agreed quickly. "Got memories I wouldn't share lightly if I had a choice in the matter."

Right, this were the embarrassing part. Jayne took a deep breath. "Might be River got some of her ideas about slaving from me."

"From you?" Mal started shaking his head. "Jayne Cobb, I've knowed you to do some right lowdown things, but I ain't never seen you do anything disrespectful to someone who you saw as below you. I can't see you ever having thoughts of keeping slaves."

Jayne glared at the captain. If he were making this hard on Jayne just for orneryness, Jayne was going to hit him right here in the middle of breakfast. River's hand came up, resting on Jayne's arm and holding him in place.

"Ain't funny," Jayne growled.

Mal frowned. "I ain't funning with you, Jayne, but I'm starting to get mighty annoyed."

Jayne didn't answer, emotions pushing too hard as him, and just didn't have the words to say it. Wanted to hit Mal. If he hit Mal, the shame and fear and that terrible quiet nagging at the edge of his words would just vanish. River's hand on his arm tightened.

"You showed him," River said softly. She studied Jayne's face even though she was talking to Mal, her eyes seeing into him so that Jayne feel like one of Kaylee's engines with all the peering into his parts. She fell quiet for a minute before starting again, her voice whisper soft. "You showed him how to lay his strength down for you when he didn't know what were the right direction," River whispered, her voice taking on a rough edge. "He thought he were going to die, and figured that was okay because you told him he should, and it were a relief, not having to figure out the right choice, but knowin' that someone else would make the choice for him. Even if the choice were him dying, it would be better than never knowin' where to turn and never feeling sure anymore. But after you showed him how to not argue, you didn't ever show him that quiet place again. Got confusing." She stopped, her head tilted to the side as she studied Jayne.

Jayne held his breath. Were only the one time that he was so tired he was ready to accept death, and that was a memory he didn't rightly want River wandering around in. But if she had seen that, why hadn't she seen the betrayal? Jayne's guts twisted. He'd been all kinds of fool to think he could keep that from her. His chest ached with every breath.

"Jayne?" Mal asked.

"Seems like she keeps trying to get at my memories of Ariel," Jayne admitted slowly.

"Do she--" Mal stopped.

"I know. I always knew. But he lied to you captain. He didn't get stupid because of the money," River said softly. Jayne looked at her waiting for the anger or the accusations or for her to just get up and walk away and not come back. She just continued to study his face. In the infirmary, she'd told him she could kill him with her brain, but she'd said it with such honest cheerfulness that he couldn't rightly take that too serious. And never, not since she'd got her sanity back had she ever hinted that she'd understood what he'd done. Jayne had poked around the edges in conversation often enough, trying to see what she knew, and she'd just given him those cow eyes that suggested she didn't remember none of it. And after seeing her with the Reavers, even her brother avoided the topic of Ariel.

"Tsai boo shr," Mal breathed.

"You listened to his words and not his thoughts, and you never knew what you done," River accused Mal, tilting her head in his direction. "He got stupid--afraid for Kaylee, not knowing what I'd do, and I couldn't explain because words slid away like fish and I only told him he looked good in red, and you told him he should die, and he laid down for you. He laid down and accepted his death because you told him he should, and then you didn't never tell him anything that sure again."

"Wait." Mal sat up straight. "You mean--. Cao."

"So I ain't some gorram victim here," Jayne snapped. "She ain't done nothing that didn't come out of my own thoughts, just ain't never had those thoughts about her. Bad enough she looks 'bout twelve, but she were also the one who gutted me, before I even done nothing to deserve it."

"You had fantasies about getting your ass kicked?" Mal sounded shell-shocked. "If I'd known that, I suppose we could have solved this long time ago," Mal finally breathed softly.

"Ain't lookin' to lay down for anyone," Jayne growled. This were beyond embarrassing. This were right up there with mortification. "Wanted to find someone who I could fight with, someone just as strong as me who wouldn't take a runner when I went and done something stupid, because we all know I don't make the best decisions."

"And the captain's an idiot because he didn't see what was right in front of him since Ariel, but too late now because Jayne's mine and I'm not selling." River tightened her grip on Jayne's arm.

Mal didn't seem capable of doing much except blinking. "Ai-yah. Tyen-ah. That what she's had her knickers in a twist over? Me not taking you in hand?"

River glared at him. "Tell, don't tell--you don't ever make up your mind and it makes things all twisty," River complained. Mal just had an expression like some stranger had walked up and slapped him.

"Merciless hell. Weren't never in my mind that you needed that, Jayne." Mal leaned back. "I always figured I'd lose you one day when you had a stake together. Figured you for getting your own ship and your own crew."

Jayne thought about that. He'd had that dream once, but the more he followed other captains, good and bad, the more he'd known that weren't something he could ever do. "I ain't one people follow," he admitted. Felt wrong, admitting that he wasn't ever going to be what a man were supposed to be, but it was the truth. Jayne looked Mal right in the eye, refusing to flinch, even from a truth that was sounding a mite bit like weakness when he said it out loud. "I'm good at covering your back, ain't a better fighter on the crew, excepting River who ain't all that predictable, and I have a code. I ain't never shot anyone who wasn't looking to shoot me, I ain't never hit anyone who couldn't hit back, and I ain't never forced a woman. But I'm not a good man, and I'm not one that people follow."

"You are a good man. All that darkness, whisperings in your ear, and you still don't have the ugly thoughts that sometimes smother all the light," River immediately disagreed.

"Don't think you have the best judgment on whether I'm good or not, not considering you're comparing me against those Reaver thoughts you have bouncing around in that brain of yours." Jayne gave a dark laugh. "Guess compared to a Reaver, I might be good. But even then, I ain't a leader. I ain't a thinker, and we all know that sooner or later I'm going to get stupid again. A captain gets stupid and a crew and a ship dies. That ain't a responsibility I'll ever take," Jayne said firmly.

"You're a good man," River insisted. "And if you get stupid, I'll just sit on you."

"Jayne." Mal still was looking shaken up. "Think I misjudged you. Think I misjudged you quite a lot."

"Ain't like I'm asking for an apology," Jayne shrugged, uncomfortable at how much talking they were doing about things that should have stayed in his brain. Would have stayed in his brain if it weren't for River getting in there and pulling out things that he had buried. It were just hard to stay upset when she had an expression of child-like joy on her face, like she'd just found a new puppy. Even harder when that expression were turned on him.

"Feel like I owe you one anyways. Didn't--." Mal stopped. "If I hadn't been so gorram thick, I would have taken you in hand in a second, Jayne. Would've been proud to know you trusted me with all that."

"I told you," River said without taking her eyes off Jayne. "The captain messed up, but Jayne's mine now and I'm not giving him up."

Mal turned that sharp gaze to River now, studying her for a long time before frowning. "Yeah, well you can explain that to your brother because I plan to be as far from him as possible when he figures out that you're serious about keeping Jayne as a slave." Mal snorted. "Might be helping Kaylee clean the engines that day. Maybe checking the hull from space. But I figure if you're going to be a slave owner, it's your job to keep Jayne and Simon from killing each other."

"Yep," River agreed as she leaned over and put her head on Jayne's shoulder. "I plan to do less messing up than you did," she smiled sweetly at Mal who just sighed and shook his head.

Jayne just watched her, the woman who owned him, who knew that he had tried to sell her out to the feds. Slowly, she looked at him. "Should go now," she said as she stood up and held out her hand. In that second, if Jayne could've run, he would've. Instead, he wiped his mouth with his napkin and dropped it on the plate before getting up and taking River's hand.

River leading them back up to the room weren't no comfort, Jayne thought as he fought down the fear that twisted in his stomach. Last night she hadn't taken him up on his offer to let her whip him, but he wasn't so sure that she still felt that way, especially if she'd been reading him, reliving that time when he'd betrayed her and her brother. Looking back, it was a gorram stupid plan.

She pulled him into the room and closed the door. For a second, she just frowned at him, her head tilted to the side. Slowly she smiled.

"Silly Jayne, goes and get stupid sometimes."

Jayne blinked in surprise, but considering she was pulling things out of his brain, he shouldn't be… he knew he wasn't smart, and no matter what he told people, he knew it wasn't just because he didn't stand for schooling.

River slowly shook her head, her hair flowing around her shoulders. "I'm not mad. I always knew. I tried to tell Simon at the hospital, warn him that they were coming, but even then I wasn't mad. I was more confused. I knew you had something good in you, but you wanted pain, and you brought them, and it didn't make any sense to me." River walked to the window seat and sat down, leaning forward as she looked at him.

"It make sense to you now?" Jayne asked cautiously. Didn't sound like she was mad, but it wasn't like he had a good track record with figuring women out. That's why he used whores… it's why he tried so hard to buy that one woman off Mal. Relationships where someone expected him to be able to figure them out were just destined for misery.

"Yep," River shrugged. "You got stupid. Should've talked to Mal."

"Seems like I did. Told him 'or else'."

River smiled slowly. "Captain got stupid. He should have made you say what. You would have told him."

"And then he really would have thrown me out an airlock," Jayne pointed out as he imagined how that conversation would have gone.

Yeah, telling the captain that he either put off part of the crew or Jayne'd turn 'em over to the feds? He would have been floating in space for sure. And back then, Mal probably would have rightly pointed out that part of the problem was that Jayne hated the doc because Kaylee was panting after him. Funny, Jayne always thought he had a chance with her seeing as how she had about as much education as he did, but educated or not, raised on a ball of dirt or not, she were smart. Guess he didn't ever really have a chance. Course that didn't explain how he ended up with a genius raised on some core planet tryin' to seduce him. Life were funny.

River got up, and Jayne took an involuntary step back. "Little guilt, big guilt, old guilt, all like bricks in a wall," she said as she stepped close, and Jayne took a deep breath as she reached up and let her hand rest on his chest. "Take it off," she said as she gave his shirt a tug.

"What? I ain't changed my mind about not being with you. I ain't giving that," Jayne said, that darkness that he was balanced over swelled, surging under him until Jayne felt almost physically unbalanced. He reached out a hand for the door. Meanwhile, River was working the buttons free one at a time.

"Not looking for sex," River said as she worked, her warm fingers brushing over his chest. His cock was already hardening, just from the feel of her fingers tugging the buttons free, catching a few hairs on one so that he hissed.

"Ain't really giving me the choice to say no, not with you doing that," he said through clenched teeth as he wished he'd kept on his undershirt, even if it were warm today. River stopped, her hands hovering just above his buckle. She was looking down at his crotch even as a slow smile started.

"Your body knows I'm not too young," she said as she looked up with a challenge in her eyes as her warm hand slid over his bare chest.

"My body has a long history of being stupid. Most men are stupid when it comes to thinking with their cocks, even someone like Mal, so I figure I ain't got much of a chance. And when I face the others, I ain't going to have them think I went and seduced you to keep myself out of chains." Jayne tightened his hand on the doorknob just to keep himself from reaching out and touching her-- the slope of her shoulder, the long hair, the small mouth that smiled at him wickedly.

"You aren't out of chains."

Jayne gripped the doorknob hard enough to do it damage. "Ain't going to have them thinkin' I seduced you anyhow you have me," Jayne pointed out.

River looked at him and sighed. "Stubborn," she finally declared.

"Gorram right."

"If you won't give me that, I still have you as slave," she shrugged. "Have to go take care of that or make it go away." She looked down, and Jayne didn't have to follow her gaze to know he was obscenely hard in his trousers. Didn't help that she had bought him a style that were more like Mal's than the scruffy one's he normally wore, so they were tighter than he liked.

"Make it go away?" Jayne asked incredulously.

"Make it go away or stand there while I take the ownership of the parts you already gave me," River said more than a little smugly. She paused. "Or go take care of it."

"Ain't going out there. I'll traumatize some kid trying to get to the bathroom," Jayne said as he finally looked down at himself. The tight pants, obvious erection, and open shirt made him look like something from the front cover of one of Kaylee's books. "Maybe you could give me a minute."

River backed up to the window seat and sat down. Pulling up her legs, she rested her chin on her knees and watched him.

"You ain't going to watch, are ya?" Jayne demanded.

"If you stay here, yep," she answered cheerfully.

"Never knew you were evil," Jayne growled as he started buttoning his shirt back up. Unfortunately his cock wasn't going down a bit, so the walk to the bathroom was going to be painful and potentially humiliating.

"Yep," River agreed amicably. Jayne gave her the worst glare he could muster before he stormed out the door, slamming it behind him for good measure. Luckily, the hall was clear so he made it to the bathroom before causing himself any humiliation that would scar him for life. Opening his trousers, he pulled his cock out and nearly hissed in relief as the pressure eased.

Ai-yah. Tyen-ah. He hadn't been this hard in months, not since that whore in the house Inara's friend ran. Maybe not then. Jayne braced himself on the wall and started stroking furiously, the pleasure and the pain of his own rough handling sent cold shards of need and lust and raw desire ripping through him as he came without a sound.

His come splattered into the toilet, and he panted, his body trembling even thought Jayne hadn't done more than quickly bring himself off. Despite the quick release, his body sent up the same aftershocks of tremors and weakness he sometimes got when he let himself sink deep into some fantasy. Sometimes, when he was feeling particular safe, he'd lock the door to his cabin, tie one wrist to the frame of his bunk and jerk off slow, building fantasies. Sometime it were Kaylee looking up from an engine to find some gorram pirate trying to steal the ship only to have Jayne come storming in and splatter his blood across the inside of the hull. Kaylee'd look at him with surprise and then with lust, but she'd admit that he scared her. He'd offer to let her tie him down just so she'd feel safe, and then she'd have her way with him.

After Ariel, he more often fantasized about Mal, about Mal making rules for letting Jayne back in. The captain would say that he trusted Jayne to be a gorram good soldier, but he weren't trusting Jayne to stay out of trouble on his own. He'd tell Jayne that he either had to be at his side or chained up nice and safe in Mal's quarters, and things would get involved from there.

Now both fantasies were strangely silent and Jayne's body shook from a powerful orgasm triggered by nothing more than his body's needs. His hands still feeling unsteady, he swiped at the come that had splattered on the seat before he peed and then tucked himself back in.

He weren't really sure what to expect from River, but not having a choice about going back in that room, it was him feel about as unsteady as he'd felt in a long time. He walked a good sight slower heading back to their room, but eventually he got there anyway. He went in and found River in exactly the same spot, her eyes closed and her head tilted to the side. Slowly her eyes drifted open and she watched him with a dreamy expression, her movement sluggish as she stood up.

"Not unbuttoning you again," she said softly as she drifted closer, a look on her face like Jayne hadn't ever seen before. He quickly closed the door and started working on his buttons as she wandered to the tall dresser, fingering the bedspread as she passed the bed.

Without being asked, Jayne shrugged out of the shirt, letting it fall to the ground behind him.

"Who owned you?" River asked sleepily.

"Loser named Mann," Jayne answered carefully.

"He chain you?"

"First week I didn't come out of the cage without chains."

"Hands in front or in back?" River asked softly as she bent down and opened the box Jayne knew just too well. He closed his hands into fists and worked at not physically showing the sudden fear and uncertainty that flooded through him, not that it would help considering that River could just go rummaging through his mind whenever she felt like it. "Front or back?" River repeated, and it took Jayne a second to gather his thoughts.

"Front most days. Did 'em in back one day when I woke up particular cranky."

River stood, shackles in hand as she moved to a spot in front of him. She raised one eyebrow in question, and Jayne felt himself blush as his cock managed a twitch as he held out his hands. She locked the heavy metal around them, and Jayne had to struggle not to fidget.

"He chain your legs?"

"No, first week or so, he tethered me by one ankle to a tractor he drove out to where I were working, but he never actually chained my feet." Jayne looked at River suspiciously now. At the chain shop, she'd already said no to leg shackles, so had she known, or weren't she planning on using them even if he'd said Mann had chained his legs? Weren't no telling with River.

"Make you strip?" she asked.

Jayne jerked, and the short chain between his hands rattled. "No."

"He make you call him master?"

That just made Jayne snort. "He were lucky when I didn't call him fat," he pointed out. "Took my slave mat away one night for being disrespectful." River smiled and gave him an amused look. "Ain't gonna lay down easy for someone like Mann," Jayne said with conviction.

She stepped to him, resting on hand on the chain between his wrists so that he couldn't raise his hands, and resting her other hand on his stomach. Jayne took a deep breath and thanked the gorram 'verse that she had given him time to jerk off. He would have embarrassed himself coming in his pants like an idiot teenager by now.

"He put a collar on you?" she asked as her hand slid up his chest, a thumbnail scratching lightly over his dark nipple so his whole body jerked. His chun zi of a cock really attempted to make a comeback at that touch, but her fingers kept going, over his collarbone until they rested on his neck.

"No." Jayne strangled the word.

"What did he do?"

Jayne swallowed. "Made me work."

River's hand wandered over his bare shoulder, slipping down to his bicep where she dug fingers in just hard enough to make sore muscles twinge and spark with pain, and Jayne groaned as need slowly built. "When we get back to Serenity, I'll sit on the walk and watch you load and unload with Mal, watch those muscles bunch under your skin. Might make you do it without your shirt so I can see what's mine." River leaned forward until her breath swept across his skin, making the hairs stand on end.

"Mann ain't never done that," Jayne said shakily. He could feel the quiet gathering under him like a dark ocean rising.

"Made you work without your shirt?" River asked curiously.

"Stood so close talking to me," Jayne corrected her. She moved around behind him, giving him a push so she could fit between him and the door. He already knew he couldn't physically overpower River, not even before the chains, but having her between him and escape made his breath hitch in his chest. He pulled against the chains around his wrists, but they were solid enough. Warm hands ran over his back, strong fingers finding and working the knotted muscles.

"What else did he make you do?" River asked. Jayne closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the feeling of her words over his sweat-damp skin made him tremble.

"Made me kneel," he confessed, the words slipping out before his common sense could veto that confession. The hands drifted from his back up to his shoulders, and firmly pressed down. For a second, Jayne resisted, and the pressure simply built until his sore muscles protested. Then he sank to his knees. River kept one hand on him as she came around to the front again. Normally, she were about neck high on him, but now he had to look up to her, the ends of her hair tickling the top of his shoulder as she leaned against him, her fingers brushing through his hair.

"What else?"

"Ain't much more. Made me sleep in a cage," Jayne answered. Came easier now somehow. On his knees, looking up at River, it weren't so hard admitting that she were strong enough to keep him on his knees. Her eyes drifted shut as she stroked his hair.

"What did you think when you woke up in that cage?" River asked without opening her eyes.

Jayne thought on that a second. "Thought it were a joke."

"And when you remembered, when you found out that you'd given this away to strangers?" River asked, he hand stilling on his head.

"Depended on which minute you caught me," Jayne admitted. "One minute I was focused on escape. The next I figured that if I were just good at what I did maybe it wouldn't be so different from some of the ships I've worked." Jayne paused, and River's hand started stroking again. "Minute after that I figured I deserved what I got. My pop used to say that people end up where they deserve to be."

River was quiet, and as the minutes passed, Jayne could feel the need to fidget drain out of him. The clock on the dresser ticked noisily, and that mechanical click and River's hand on his hair became his whole reality as he waited for her next question.

"Do you want me to forgive you for Ariel?" It came in such a calm tone of voice that Jayne didn't process the question right away. When he did, he jerked, but her hand on his shoulder kept him on his knees.

"Won't take what you don't give," she said, her voice low and soothing. "Won't give you pain or forgiveness without you asking."

"Then why you have me on my knees?" Jayne demanded. River kept a hand on his shoulder keeping him down, but she reached down with her other hand and cupped his chin, forcing him to face her.

"So you learn to trust that I won't take what you haven't already given me," she told him firmly, her eyes holding his gaze. "Even if you're on your knees, especially if you're on your knees, I won't take what you haven't given."

Jayne's heart pounded, panic running through him as he knelt on the carpet knowing that he was trapped for fair. Part of him wanted to agree, to ask for forgiveness. "Don't need your forgiveness," Jayne lied instead.

River held his gaze for several seconds before the hand under his chin caressed up and over his cheek and then returned to playing with his hair. "You going to take the whip to me?" Jayne asked cautiously.

"Did Mann whip you?" River asked, that dreamy voice back again.

"No."

"You haven't given that part of yourself away then," River said calmly. "I'm going to read, but I want to see you, on your knees for me because you know you've given me this," she told him, her fingers reaching down to his neck, kneading the tense muscles there. "I want to see you giving me this because you know I want your strength."

River paused. "That's a lie. I don't just want your strength, I need it. Need that anchor." Her voice took on a more playful tone. "I want your body, but I can wait until you're ready to give me that, too," River gave him one last pet that ended with a sharp tug at the hair at the back of his head, and then River was walking back to the window seat, curling up with her back to the wall so she could see Jayne as he knelt in the middle of the floor, his chained hands resting on his thighs.

Jayne watched her as she opened her book, her eyes scanning the words and randomly glancing up at him. Tension slowly faded to boredom, and as she kept reading, a small smile played on her lips when he would make the shackles jingle. Eventually, Jayne started finding himself just sinking into a silence defined by the clicking clock and the soft rub of old paper as River turned page after page.

"Can I have something?" River asked, holding his arm as they walked down the ramp to the dusty streets of Persephone. A week. A week since he lost his freedom, but this felt just like it had before. He didn't feel no different, except bein' so frustrated he were ready to pull off his own cock.

"Reckon you have whatever you want," Jayne answered as he scanned the crowds. Considering that Jayne had more credits in his pocket right now than he'd ever held in his whole gorram life, he figured she could afford most anything Persephone had to offer. Served the crew of the Mockingbird right, trying to play poker with River. Serenity crew had learned the stupidity of that a whole sight faster than they had. A shirt seller was pushing his cart, and Jayne studied him for a second seeing as how that would be a real convenient place to hide weapons.

"Can I have sex then?" River asked brightly. Jayne glanced down at her. A deckhand from the Mockingbird were a good bit more surprised and almost drove off the side of the ramp, jerking the wheel on the small hauler filled with freight at the last second to save it from going nose down in the dirt. Mal didn't even twitch, but then after five day's passage on the Mockingbird, Jayne supposed the captain was immune to her saying such as that.

"No," Jayne answered as he kept scanning the crowd.

"Getting frustrated, you know. When you do finally give me sex, you aren't coming out of our quarters for a week. Chain you to the bed," River grumped.

Mal actually lost a half step on that.

"You actually want something or are you just pointing out that you need sexing?" Jayne asked as he followed Mal down onto the dirt. Felt right... back on the worlds the Serenity ran, his gun on his hip, and his new knife hanging from his belt. Now if he could just slip River and find a seller with some looser britches, he figured life would be about as close to perfect as it got for him. Maybe if he spaced these tight ones River would let him wear some of the ones that would have gone back to Serenity with his bag. Then again, she might make him walk around without no britches.

Jayne glanced down at River. She held his arm, pressed closely to his side as she gazed about curiously. Yeah, she'd probably space his old britches and use it as an excuse to keep him half naked in their quarters. She looked up at him with a smile. "Have something for you for me," she said as if it made perfect sense.

"What's that?" Jayne asked. She reached in the small bag she had carried off the Mockingbird with her and pulled out a metal cuff. Jayne looked at the slave cuff in surprise. He let her put that on, and he wouldn't be able to take it off. Anyone who looked at him would know he was a slave.

Jayne froze, and River's open curiosity slowly turned to confusion. "Thinking ugly," River said softly. "Why?"

Swallowing, Jayne looked at the thing. Black metal, heavy, just the right size to lock around Jayne's wrist. One side had a flattened ring for attaching a restraint. The restraint didn't bother him none given that he wore shackles about as often as not in quarters, but wearing that out in public.... "Ain't sure I want everyone seein' that and dismissing me as some gorram slave who ain't worth paying attention to," Jayne said. He'd learned he had to be real specific with River or she went plucking things out his mind, which weren't always to his benefit.

Mal snorted.

"You got something to say about this?" Jayne demanded. Mal glanced over to where the Mockingbird crewman was unloading their baggage and then at Jayne. For a second, then he shook his head and got an almost amused expression.

"First time I saw you, I knew I didn't want to cross guns with you. If you'd had that slave cuff on, I still wouldn't have wanted to cross guns with you," Mal pointed out. "If anything, it'd make me worry more. You wear that and everyone knows someone is on the other end of that leash--someone strong enough to hold you and command enough loyalty to let you loose with a gun. That ain't a comforting thought."

Jayne thought on that a second as he scratched his crotch. "If I'd been wearing a cuff that first time we met, you wouldn't have thought I were less of a man?" Jayne asked.

Mal snorted. "Jayne, you could wear a pink tutu and borrow my pretty floral bonnet, and you'd still look plenty manly, and I still wouldn't want to cross guns with you. Course, you doing that inappropriate scratching in a tutu would be a good sight more disturbing."

Jayne hesitated and glared before he just kept right on scratching. With River doing her best to seduce him, jerking off was about his only relief. Never thought he'd do it so much he were sore, but he wasn't about to stop scratching that itch just because he offended Mal's sense of manners.

When Jayne didn't stop, Mal just shook his head. "Only difference a slave cuff would've made in how I saw you was I wouldn't have assumed I could hire you away from that backstabbing son-of-a-bitch Marcos you was working for. A man wears a cuff or collar because he wants to or because someone has paper on him. Ain't no one in their right mind going to give a slave he holds paper on a gun because paper ain't going to keep a man from killing to win his freedom. So, if I saw you with your penchant for heavy weapons and a slave cuff, I would've assumed your loyalty weren't up for offer." Mal paused for a second. "And in a tutu, I'd be thinking you weren't right in the head."

"Ain't like you had problems bring crazy folk on board before," Jayne verbally jabbed at the man, but the fire weren't in it. Couldn't hardly say it was a bad decision, keeping River around. That's why Jayne had no business being captain because he would have spaced her and her brother long time back.

"I got all kinds of crazy folk on Serenity," Mal agreed. "Mind, you best be ready because doc is going to take one look at that and have thoughts about serving your guts up for supper."

"It's for him, too," River said. "So easy to forget, and I want everyone to remember that Jayne is mine. No more trying to throw him out an airlock," River said with a glare at the captain.

"I expect you to keep him from doing anything particular stupid then," Mal picked at a hangnail without looking up.

"I will," River quickly agreed, her glare vanishing.

"Ain't sure I like you two conspiring against me," Jayne said as he looked from one to the other. River smiled sweetly up at him. Her sweet smiles always worried him more than the wicked ones she'd flash him when she locked the chains on around his wrists.

River looked down at the cuff in her hand, stroking the edge with her thumb. "I want to look at it and know that everyone can see you're mine, that you laid down your strength for me. I want to see the steel and know you'll always be there to anchor me because you're mine and I'm never setting you free," River said quietly. Jayne knew that sweet smile were more worrisome than any wicked expression she ever got. He couldn't very well say no to that. With a sigh, he held brought his hand up and surrendered it to her.

Still smiling, she locked the cuff around his left wrist, closing it with an audible snap. The metal was cold against his skin, and Jayne could see his whole arm go to goose pimples. Then River wrapped herself around his arm, again pressing to his side.

"Ain't nobody going to see it if you keep clinging on him like that," Mal said dryly.

"Captain's cranky," River declared, but then a familiar face appeared, over the crowd.

"Captain," a voice called. Zoe maneuvered Serenity's hauler around a small crowd of children playing in the dirt. Her hair was pulled back, the curls dusted with gray from the clouds of dust that hung over the docks.

"Captain, Jayne, River," she called as she came to a stop and powered down in front of the Mockingbird. "Everyone okay?" she immediately asked as she studied each of them in turn.

"Got our lost sheep back," Mal commented, his thumb poking in Jayne's direction.

"Kaylee said you were coming in with some freight," she said as she looked at the pile the Mockingbird crew had just finished stacking in the dirt. "Looks a little scrawny for a hauling job."

"River done some shopping," Mal said without any emotion.

"He's thinking cranky thoughts about his shuttle," River said. Trust that girl to figure out whatever folk most didn't want to talk about and then bring it up. Mal gave her a real unfriendly look.

"What about the shuttle?" Zoe asked.

"Sold it," River announced. "Bought a Jayne."

Zoe whistled. "We sent along nearly 1200 credits. How much you go for, Jayne?" Zoe got off the hauler and leaned back against it as she gave Jayne an appraising look.

River jumped in before he could answer. "I paid 900 credits for him," River said cheerfully as she held up Jayne's arm with the slave cuff. Jayne stared at Zoe, just daring her to say anything.

"And I come back with 1,200 credits, but no paper on Jayne and no shuttle," Mal offered with a sigh.

"You could have had Jayne if you hadn't messed up so bad," River pointed out. Mal really glared at her then.

"Considering you weren't going to bring that up any more, you spend a goodly amount of time bringing that up."

"And now Jayne is my slave," River finished happily.

The whole time Jayne watched Zoe--her shocked face and the way her eyes kept darting from River to Mal to the cuff on his arm. "If you're planning on saying something, spit it out now because I ain't going to have you staring at me," he warned.

"Just surprised, is all," she said, not even bothering to change her expression.

"Shocked the hell out of me, too," Mal sympathized. "I would have figured that Jayne would space himself before ever wearing a cuff, but like I told him, don't make him any less of a black-hearted hwun dan."

Zoe laughed. Jayne could feel his guts rise to his mouth, anger and frustration that made him want to rip off the slave cuff and punch Zoe right her gorram laughing mouth. River's hand caught his arm. Maybe it was something in his expression that cut off Zoe's laugh so sudden. "Sir, the only thing I'm surprised at is him wearing River's cuff. Always figured you'd cuff him sooner or later."

Mal's mouth about dropped open, and Jayne's anger turned all confusion. "What?" Mal finally managed.

"Come on, sir. Jayne went from shooting his old captain in the leg to following us through Reaver territory. If he were in it for money, he would have jumped ship when we started taking on missions that were more likely to get us killed than get us paid, but as much as he argued, he never hesitated to follow exactly where he didn't want to go."

"Wait, are you saying you thought..." Mal stopped and stared at her. Mal looked over toward him, and Jayne could only stare back with a confused expression of his own.

"Captain is stupid," River said. "He didn't even notice Jayne with all his strength following behind."

"I ain't stupid," Mal snapped, then he thought on that for a second. "Usually."

"Honestly?" Zoe asked, "I figured when Jayne had his bag sent to Serenity, that were his way of forcing your hand, sir."

"I weren't trying to force anything. Just wanted Vera to go to a good home if something happened to me. You thought I'd end up wearing a cuff?" Jayne couldn't even figure how he felt about that.

"I'm not one to lead myself," Zoe shrugged. "Can't say I'd ever wear a cuff, but that's just me. Jayne, you okay with River buying your paper? Don't seem like you two have a real amicable relationship."

"She ain't bad, and she's smarter than the captain," Jayne shrugged. River smiled up at him, that look like someone had just given her a puppy, and Jayne couldn't ever remember anyone looking at him like that. He remembered his Ma watching Matty's crib with that sort of pure love, so he supposed before he were old enough to start breaking things, she'd looked at him like that, but he sure hadn't had anyone in his life since consider him like she done right now.

"Right now, I'm starting to think you're right on that," Mal said, sounding kind of dazed. "So, if I had walked out at dinner and said I were moving Jayne into my quarters?" he asked.

Zoe looked at him with a sort of indulgent amusement. "I would have asked what took you so long to figure it out, sir."

"Tee wuh duh pee-goo."

Zoe coughed like she was hiding a laugh. "Inara asked if mayhaps you needed some instruction either on handling Jayne or just on menfolk's ways of pleasuring," Zoe added, and now she was clearly enjoying the situation.

"She... what?" Mal's voice was sounding downright unmanly now. Jayne didn't even try to hide a smirk.

"She thought that you were taking too long to getting around to Jayne… that maybe you had some issue she could help you with. When she come to me, I told her I knew you'd taken a man or two to bed even if you did lean toward womenfolk, so I didn't think you were unversed. Didn't occur to either of us that you just hadn't figured it out." Zoe still had that military stiff body language, but Jayne could see the edges of her eyes crinkle, the corners of her mouth twitch as she fought back a laugh.

"Aiya. Tell me you and Inara weren't talking on my sex life."

"Sorry, sir," Zoe said, not sounding the least bit sorry. "In our defense, we did think you had at least noticed."

Jayne opened his mouth to get in on the fun, and River was there, pressing her back to his stomach and pinching his arm.

"Ow," he complained, and she looked up with that same affectionate smile. Mal didn't even seem to notice.

"Did everyone on the gorram ship know?" he demanded.

Zoe thought on that for a second. "I don't think Kaylee noticed, sir. Or Simon either. Reverend Book knew. Wash… well, he had all sorts of schemes for making you two stop butting heads and start talking." Zoe fell quiet, the memory of her husband did that when it slipped into the conversation. For a long minute, they all just stood, the bustle of Persephone flowing around them.

"Well, shi. Could've one of you told me," Mal finally sighed.

"Thought you knew, sir."

"Next time, when it comes to things like this, assume I'm gorram clueless."

"Yes, sir," Zoe agreed crisply.

"Told you that you messed up," River offered all friendly-like.

"Yeah, well tell your slave to help me load this gou shi you traded my shuttle for," Mal said as he headed over for the stack of goods sitting in the dust. River twisted out of Jayne's arms and gave him a smack on the butt to get him moving, but the grope at the end didn't make keeping his mind on work any easier as he headed for the pile. Three days on the slaver world and River seemed to have bought out half the planet. Mal grunted as he picked up a heavy box and headed for the hauler Zoe had brought. "What you got in here, River?"

"Books," River said absent-mindedly, her gaze on Jayne and a small smile on her lips. Jayne added the box of chains to the loader and looked at River suspiciously.

"Ain't a good look you're wearing," he said. River started to really smile, that sweet smile that made Jayne more stupid because it twisted something in his guts that made thinking downright impossible. Her eyes traveled down over him as she reached up and trailed a finger over the buttons of his shirt.

"Don't even go there," Jayne growled. "Not loading bare-chested in the middle of Persephone docks," he snapped as he started heading back for the pile, but River caught him by the arm, pulling him back in with that unnatural strength of hers. Jayne found himself pressed against the hauler as she went on tiptoes, her arms around her neck.

"Won't take what you can't give, but Jayne doesn't get to be that growly," River said softly. Sliding forward, she stood on the tops of his boots, her soft soled boots braced on his shit-kickers and her body pressed to his. Jayne's brain turned off as his cock hardened, sore or not.

"Why ain't I getting sexed again?" he asked as his arms went around her waist.

"Because you're being all stupid. Just because my brother would think you had been ungentlemanly with me, no reason for not having sex," River tightened her arms, her weight braced on his shoulders as she pulled herself up. Jayne tightened his arms to hold her in place and groaned. "Is it working yet?" she asked, her new favorite question as she kept trying new ways to seduce him. His cock were going to fall off before she was done with him.

"Ain't never wanted to get an argument over with so much in my life, but I ain't giving you that until we deal with your gorram brother. Mal, any chance we can just space the doc so I can commence with getting sexed without worrying about him getting his knickers all twisty?"

"No," Mal said as he loaded another box, "but you can put your woman down and help load now. A captain shouldn't be doing all the work." River smiled slid down Jayne's body, rubbing in a way that just didn't help with the need for getting sexed or the soreness. He reached down and scratched as she stepped back.

"So, who gave River the birds and bees talk?" Zoe asked as she headed for the pile and lifted a large, awkward crate.

Jayne caught one edge and she shifted her grip so they could carry it together.

"Ain't sure anyone has yet, but she seems to be feeling her way though on her own," Jayne said. Didn't bother him to have the crew see him in a slave cuff, but he sure weren't confessing to being the one to teach River about sex and submission. Any brother would kill over gou shi like that, and Simon were a good sight more protective than most brothers.

"I ain't gone a day without hearing how she needs to be getting sexed." Mal complained as he leaned on the hauler.

"Think how I'm feeling sharing quarters. I ain't been so frustrated since I were fifteen," Jayne complained.

"What, you two aren't…?" Zoe's eyebrows rose.

"Given how they're groping each other, shocking, isn't it?" Mal asked.

"Very, sir."

"Ain't going to walk on the Serenity and have you think I went and seduced her and turned her head all around. I ain't never coerced a woman or went and bedded a child, so I told her she's got to convince you that she ain't no child. I may be a black-hearted hwun dan, but I've got my limits." Jayne dropped his end of the crate kind fast so that Zoe grunted as she worked her end around.

Mal snorted. "Looking at her now, I'm convinced. Five days of hearing her say things damn near as inappropriate as all Jayne's scratching, and I don't think I'll ever forget she's not a child," Mal offered as he dropped two small boxed into the hauler.

"Salacious?" Zoe asked with a smile. Mal shook his head, leaning against the hauler as Jayne grabbed the last of their freight.

"Girl made one of the Mockingbird crew snort soup out his nose. One dinner should be enough to convince Simon that she ain't exactly child-like anymore. And for one," Mal added, "I'm hopin' she does less talking about sex once she's having it. If she don't, I ain't even going to be comin' to dinner because all we'll be hearing about is Jayne's prowess in bed."

"Like the shepherd would have said," Zoe smiled, "wonders never cease. Our girl went and grew up, sir," Zoe said with a smile as River attached herself to Jayne's side again as soon as he'd put the last box in the hauler. "You planning on staying attached to Jayne from now on?" Zoe asked as she looked at how River plastered herself to his side.

Jayne groaned, knowing exactly what was coming. River's hand stroked his chest, wandering south until she cupped his genitals. "You had to ask," he snarled at Zoe. The woman's eye were open about as wide as plates as she stared at River's hand, kneading Jayne's growing erection.

"Going to torture him until he agree to have sex," River announced happily.

"Zoe, never, ever ask anything like that again," Mal ordered, a strange expression on his face. Shaking his head, he truned and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Yes, sir," Zoe agreed as she walked around to the passenger side, but Jayne could still hear that amusement just under her military manners.

"Time to go home now," River said as she finally let go and climbed into the back, poking among her packages.

Jayne got in last, his cock already caught between aching and itching. Ignoring Zoe's disapproving look, he started scratching it again.

"Mei mei," Simon called from the walk above Serenity's bay as the hauler bounced into Serenity's belly. "I can't believe you stole the shuttle. You aren't to ever do something like that again."

Kaylee trailed behind as Simon stormed down the stairs toward his sister. Kaylee just smiled as she looked from one to the other. "You brought him back." She finally said as she got to the bottom. Jayne hadn't done more than get out of the hauler before Kaylee was there, arms wrapped around him. He didn't know quite what to do so he patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Poop head," she whispered for just him. Jayne gave a shrug.

"Never been the brightest, but this time it weren't all my fault. Got drunk around people who weren't the best for getting drunk around."

Simon made a noise that Jayne chose to ignore as Kaylee took a step back. Her eyes took him in. "Looking good. I know you didn't dress yourself looking like that, so who dragged you out shopping for shirts that don't have logos promising blood and gunfire?" she teased. Jayne looked down with a frown.

"Ain't so different from what I normally wear, except for these britches being too gorram tight," he complained as he scratched again.

"Just like Captain Tightpants," Kaylee agreed with an amused look toward Mal who was going out of his way to ignore her as he and Zoe started unpacking. Kaylee got a confused expression on her face when the captain ignored her teasing, but Jayne figured the cowards were just trying to avoid helping him deal with Simon. Glancing over, Jayne could see Simon was still fussing over River.

"Kaylee's just surprised at your new look because she's not used to you being clean," Simon said to Jayne as he finally looked up from making sure River didn't have a mark on her. River frowned.

"Simon, that ain't nice," Kaylee immediately hissed at him, going over and giving him a punch in the arm for good measure.

"Least I know how to get dirty doing a day's work," Jayne crossed his arms and bit back a dozen other words, most a good sight less polite.

"We should help the captain," Kaylee said as she turned to the hauler and cargo.

"Nope," River said when Jayne went to do just that. "Brother has to look over Jayne," River said.

Mal put down the box he'd just picked up. "There a problem?" he asked as he watched them carefully.

"Not that I know of," Jayne shrugged. Maybe she just wanted them in the infirmary when they had their talk, but personally he'd rather keep the doc away from anything sharp or shiny when he found out.

"Jayne's all itchy and hurt," River said. Immediately, the look of mild disgust the doc always wore around Jayne vanished.

"Did something happen? When did you first start noticing symptoms?" he asked.

"Haven't really, just a might sore," Jayne said in confusion as River grabbed his arm and started dragging him toward the infirmary. "Last two or three days."

"Where?"

"Cock," Jayne answered, and the doc half stumbled a step. Turning around, he glanced at River who was still holding on to Jayne's arm.

"Mei mei, maybe you had better give us some privacy. Jayne might need to tell me things that you shouldn't hear, but don't worry. I'll take care of him, so you can let him go now."

"Not leaving," River said.

"Not like I care if she's in the room," Jayne said, not mentioning the part about River owning him because he really didn't want to get into that conversation if Simon was going to be looking at his prick.

"I don't think she should be seeing the exam," Simon said, his voice tight as frustration started coming through.

"I want to see. Testis, corpus spongiosum, corpus cavernosum, urethra, prostate, vas deferens." River's voice got that far-off sound.

"What those?" Jayne asked as River started pulling him toward the infirmary again. They passed Simon who had a look like he'd been frozen.

"Parts of the penis. I want to see them."

"Ain't had a doctor check my prostate but once, and I ain't looking to have you or your brother go checking it today," Jayne warned, the word finally registering with him as he remembered the government health check when he turned fifteen.

"Not today," River agreed cheerfully. Simon finally got himself moving again, catching up when they got to the infirmary. Jayne started unbuckling his pants.

"Jayne, don't undress in front of River."

"Silly Simon. I know how it all works. Arteries dilate and pressurized blood flows into the corpora cavernosa. But I've never seen it."

"And you aren't seeing it today," Simon almost yelped.

"Only a body part," Jayne said as he let his pants drop. "Ain't nothing to get that uptight about." He figured out he hadn't taken off his boots, and he cursed as he knelt down and started working on the laces so he wouldn't be hobbled if the doc decided to take a scalpel to his parts.

"River, you need to go back to your quarters," Simon said. Jayne just kept working on his boots while he watched with amusement.

"No." River leaned back against the wall. Simon frowned at her and then went over to physically push her out of the room. That worked about as well as Simon getting out and trying to push start Serenity.

"River," Simon said in a warning tone. River actually smiled at him. Then she watched as Jayne stepped out of his boots and pants and pushed his boxers off. Immediately, he reached up and scratched himself.

"Oh my god. Stop that," Simon said as he instantly turned to Jayne. "Get on the table. How long have you had this?"

"Just a bit of rash," Jayne said as he got up on the table. This were a bit uncomfortable laying with his parts exposed. River wandered closer, her fingers brushing across his shoulder, and Jayne curled his fists around the edge of the table and tried to ignore when Simon slipped on gloves and started handling him. Itched like a whore down there.

"A rash with signs of secondary infection."

"He gonna be okay?" Mal asked from the doorway.

"Captain, would you get River out of here, please," Simon asked as he poked at Jayne's balls. Jayne scowled at him, but the man was too interested in torturing Jayne to notice.

"Your sister does what she wants, in case you ain't noticed. Jayne, that don't look good," Mal said as he stepped closer.

"Doc needs to either stop touching it or start scratching because he's just making it worse," Jayne complained as he held on to the edge of the table as tight as he could.

"Balanitis with a slight secondary infection. I'll get cream," Simon announced as he finally let go of Jayne. Jayne reached down to scratch and Simon blocked his hand.

"Stop that. The more you scratch, the worse it's going to get."

"Wrong," River said.

"Good because I ain't going to itch and not scratch," Jayne said as he shoved Simon's hand out of the way and started scratching. River was there, catching his hand and pulling it away, and Jayne could only stare at the ceiling as he thought up colorful curses.

"You can't scratch. Simon will get you cream that makes it feel better, but it's not balanitis."

Mal stepped forward, a real disgusted look on his face as he stared at Jayne exposed on the table. "You ain't the doc, River. And are you sure that ain't dangerous, Simon? Because I've never seen a man's penis looking quite that unhappy."

"Just a rash," Jayne complained. Weren't good for a man's ego to have his prick judged like that.

"A real unhappy red bumpy rash on parts that I don't reckon I would tolerate any kind of rash at all. That ain't catching it is?" Mal took a quick step back.

"It happens when a person isn't regularly acquainted with bathwater," Simon said, the concern and sympathy of earlier largely gone.

"Intertrigo," River said definitively as she reached down and touched Jayne's cock. Idiot thing started hardening, which just made the itch worse.

"Don't be silly, River, a man would have to--. Stop That!" Simon came back over and pulled River's hand away from Jayne's cock. Mal was now standing with his back to them, leaning against the wall near the door. Jayne hadn't seen the captain move that fast since Reavers was after them.

"River, you don't ever touch a man there," Simon said, his voice caught between panic and patience.

"Ever?" River asked all innocent-like. Jayne didn't know what were coming, but he'd seen that sweet expression often enough to not trust it.

"What?" Simon asked.

"You think I shouldn't ever touch a man?" She cocked her head to the side with an injured expression.

"I…" Simon stopped. "This isn't a topic for discussion right here."

"You think I'll go through my whole life and never touch a man? You don't want me to have any life or happiness?" she asked, her voice small and sad. "Don't you want me to ever have what you and Kaylee have when you get all lost in each other's bodies and the feeling of hot skin in the bed? You want me to be alone?" Simon turned all kinds of red while River just had an expression like someone had killed Santa Clause. Jayne knew she were playing her brother, knew it and still wanted to punch the sha gua right in the face for making River look so sad.

"I didn't--. I mean--. River." Simon staggered to a verbal stop. River looked on the verge of crying. Jayne gave her points for manipulation, but it were making his stomach sour.

"Ain't helping with the itch, you two fighting," Jayne interrupted the staring match. River still had ahold of his one hand, and the slave cuff on the other were a mighty big reminder that if she told him not to do something, he weren't supposed to do it. And if that something involved everyone looking at his cock like it were about ready to fall off, he'd be following her advice. He looked down, and he had to admit that it weren't looking healthy, but hopefully it weren't all as bad as they were making it out to be.

"Here," Simon shoved a tube of something at him, and Jayne didn't waste any time getting it open and slathering some over his penis. The burning itch vanished as Jayne stroked it into the sore skin.

"Oh my god, you don't have to--. River, you need to leave," Simon said, his eyes focused on what Jayne was doing. Jayne finished wiping the rest of the cream off on his hip.

"Got a woman touching me, so it ain't my fault," Jayne pointed out as he considered his cock which was making a valiant effort to get hard even if it wasn't actually getting far. River's hand had drifted from Jayne's wrist up to rest on his hip bone.

"I really don't want to look, do I?" Mal asked as he stood at the door and watched the hallway.

"Nope," River agreed. "And it's not balanitis, it's intertrigo."

"River, a man would have to pleasure himself... oh... " Simon paused.

"Four, five times a day for the last eight days," Jayne filled in for him quickly enough. "Or seven, I guess. That first day after the auction I only jerked off the once, but starting that second day, I been doing it regular." He swung his legs around and hopped off the table, but when he turned around, Simon had that expression like his face done fell open. "What?" Jayne snatched his clothes off the floor and started pulling them on.

"You've... four or five times a day... with a rash like that?"

"Painful. The pain puts an edge on all the round, but he shouldn't hurt himself, he should let me hurt him," River said. Simon spared her a glance and then looked back at Jayne.

"To get that damage, he would have to be hurting himself. What would possess you to... do that?" Simon finally got his mouth to close as Jayne did up his buckle. He cast a look at his boots. He'd feel better with them on, but this was getting to the point in the conversation where being bent over were just too much risk.

"It's called jerking off," Jayne sneered.

"It's called masturbation," Simon crossed his arms and stared at Jayne. "Excessive masturbation. Potentially obsessive even. There are psychiatric medicines for compulsive behaviors like this. "

"Too much friction and heat and pressure and now he's all itchy. No more jerking off for Jayne," River said as she sat on the exam table and curled her legs under her. She'd lost her boots at some point so she was back to bare feet.

Simon sighed. "River, this really isn't something you should get involved in. Jayne, if you want to get undressed again, I'll check to see if you've caused any damage other than the rash."

"He didn't," River announced airily.

"I'll take her word for it," Jayne said as he retreated to a spot near the door and leaned against the wall. Mal glanced over at him.

"Have to say, I don't know whether to call that impressive or stupid," Mal commented. "Five times a day, Jayne?"

"You try having her rubbing up against you. It was either my hand or her," Jayne commented. He knew this was starting right down a road he didn't want to go down, but better to take on the enemy face on than have them chasing your back with a scalpel and a needle full of drugs.

"Her?" Simon looked from River to Jayne and back. "River?" he finally asked, focusing on his sister.

"I bought Jayne," River announced proudly as she looked at Jayne with that new-found puppy expression.

"I thought the captain was going to fetch him." Simon sounded confused, not angry, so Jayne figured Simon had missed the important part of her announcement.

"Oh, I tried. River outbid me. Sold my gorram shuttle to get the money to outbid me, but the law says that River holds Jayne's paper, and I can't do nothing about that," Mal said as he turned to face Simon. Now he and Jayne flanked the door and Simon just looked from one to the other in confusion. Yeah, he knew he were missing something; he just weren't too sure what.

"River?" he finally turned back to his sister.

"I put a cuff on Jayne, hold his paper, only he says he won't have sex with me until you see that this is my choice, so he goes and gets stupid and hurts himself instead of letting me hurt him." River summed it up pretty good, and once again Simon's whole face just kinda fell open. "Would have made him stop, but he needed to have the edge on all the round, and he says I can't hurt him yet. Can't hurt him and I can't have sex with him until you know. So now you know."

"You." Simon took a step back and braced himself on the counter. "Him?"

River nodded happily and slid off the table before going to Jayne, fitting herself into his side, and he rested his arm on her shoulders. She looked up at him. "Can we have sex now? I promise to be careful with your damaged penis."

Simon was breathing heavy like he was about to pass out. "Captain, I don't know what this man-ape has done, but unless you do something to fix this, I'm going to fix that rash by cutting it off," Simon said, his voice shaking.

"Ai-ya. Told me I were always safe on your table," Jayne protested.

"You ain't on my table!" Simon shot back. Jayne traded a concerned look with Mal. He hadn't ever heard Simon so upset that he forgot his grammar before.

"My choice," River said firmly, her arm still around Jayne's waist.

"No!" Simon shouted. "No, it isn't your choice. They cut into your head so you can't control what you're thinking, so it's not your choice to bed some addle-pate, some simpleton who can't even go a month without selling himself into slavery. This isn't your choice." Simon's voice rose to an uneven shout.

"Simon, what's going on here?" Kaylee appeared at the door, looking around with concern. "Zoe said you might want some privacy, but it's hard to let you be private with all the shouting and insulting going on."

"He seduced my sister," Simon shouted, poking a finger at Jayne. "I don't know how, and I don't care, but he needs to get his hands off River."

"You planning on trying to make me? I'd like to see that, little man," Jayne warned darkly.

"Play nice," River said, sounding all the world like Kaylee for a second. For her part, Kaylee was just looking confused.

"River and Jayne?" she asked.

"I figure that's about the face I made when I heard," Mal agreed. "Course, Jayne made a face even worse at the time, but River put her bid on him, and she's been working hard to convince all of us, Jayne included, that she's serious about this."

"I am serious. I like Jayne's brain," she said as she rested her head on his shoulder. Simon spluttered so hard that Jayne thought he might choke on his own tongue.

"Oh," Kaylee said. Nothing more, just 'oh.'

"Trust me, don't go asking after it because she'll give you some explanations that will leave you wanting to wash out the inside of your brain with a real strong soap. In fact," Mal said with a face like he'd been sucking a lemon, "if she starts talking on Reaver thoughts, just run."

"Are you okay with this captain?" Kaylee asked real soft.

"Me?" Mal looked over at her in surprise. "Aren't you worried about River?"

Kaylee shrugged. "I reckon River can take care of herself just fine, and Jayne don't appear to be suffering, but I always figured you and Jayne would end up together, captain, and now Jayne has River and you're alone."

Mal's mouth dropped open. "You knew, too? Why is it that everyone on my whole gorram ship knowed that Jayne were waiting on me, excepting me?" he demanded.

"You didn't know?" Kaylee blinked.

"No, and Zoe said you didn't neither."

Kaylee made a disgusted sound. "Everybody always thinks I'm so naive. Ain't so naive as to miss what's right under my nose."

"Well, next time something's right under your nose, you mind letting me in on it?" Mal asked.

"You bet, captain," she smiled and then looked thoughtful. "Does that mean you want to know about how--"

"Simon knows now, so can we start having sex?" River asked again, interrupting Kaylee. Simon was still clinging to the counter, looking back and forth like one of them dolls that nods in the wind. "I'll be careful with your broken penis."

"His penis?" Kaylee yelped, worry in her eyes, and Jayne weren't having no pity.

"Jerked off too much trying to not do the wrong thing, but if I ain't going to get any credit for not bedding River yet, ain't sure why I bothered," Jayne said, feeling more than a little put upon.

"Credit," Simon almost choked on the word. "Credit? You want credit for not bedding her?" Simon's voice started small and built up to a good rant. "She's a child! If you did bed her, I'd ask the captain to put you off the ship. Of course, even if you did bed her, I still wouldn't sell you to the alliance."

Jayne froze, his anger and guilt rising up like a monster out of the dark. "Your sister done stabbed me. Ain't like I didn't have cause."

"Yes, the cause closest to Jayne Cobb's heart--money. You want money? I'll pay you to leave my sister alone. Come on, how much will it take to get you to keep your hands off her?" Simon pulled his wallet out and started yanking credit notes out.

"Don't need your money," Jayne said, not sure when he'd gotten so off-balance in this fight, but this weren't going the way he'd planned.

"Oh, maybe you've already sold her out. Get a better price from some Alliance doctor? Plan to walk her to some pick up point with your arm around her shoulders?"

Mal stepped forward. "Now, Simon. Jayne ain't the one doing any selling. He's the one who went and got himself sold, and as far as I've seen, River's taking the job of owning him a fair sight more seriously than I would have thought. Look at him, Simon."

"I am." Simon growled the words. He was too, glaring hard enough that Jayne could feel the hatred sinking into his skin.

Mal sighed. "I ain't never knowed Jayne Cobb to wear pants that tight or shirts that button up without someone making him. It were River's choice. Jayne ain't the one doing the pushing here."

"So, if he lets River pick his shirt, that makes it okay for him to sleep with her?" Simon spat the words in anger.

"He's mine." River stepped forward, and Jayne could see in the way she held her body that she was near to an edge. He'd spent a week on his knees watching her every move, the way her legs moved slow and steady when she were happy, the way a book that upset her made her go all stiff, the way her body turned into something alien when she wanted to kill… one of the Mockingbird crew had come mighty close. Now her arms were stiff at her sides, head tilted forward as she faced off against her brother. Jayne figured Simon'd be safe enough, but she weren't always aware of whoever happened to be on the side when she was upset.

"Captain. How about you and Kaylee leave us to handle this for a bit," Jayne said as soft as he could.

"I don't think that's a real good idea, Jayne," Kaylee immediately answered, but Mal looked from River back to Jayne again.

"Jayne?"

"Yep," Jayne answered.

"Gao yang jong duh goo yang. Kaylee, let's leave them to do their talking," Mal said as he caught Kaylee's arm and started backing out of the room.

"But, cap…"

"Kaylee, we're leaving," Mal said as he dragged her out of the room.

"What?" Simon asked, and Jayne could see River's head come up, the aggression drain as her brother's anger gave way to confusion. "Captain?" Simon called out, and then Jayne watched the anger settle in again as he looked at Jayne. "You do this, and I will either get him to kick you off this ship, or I will take my sister and leave," he said, his voice deadly quiet.

"No!" River yelled, both fists coming down on the treatment table he was holding hard enough to leave twin dents.

"Mei mei," Simon yelped as he jumped back.

"No, I'm not leaving. He's mine. Stop thinking those things."

"Don't matter what the little man's thinking," Jayne said. "You put the cuff on me, and the law says he can't come between that."

"That's funny, you turning to the law. I didn't think you cared about the law."

Jayne spared Simon a dirty look before he focused on River with her tight body language. Just too much hate for one room, he reckoned. "You know, I ain't going to hold it against you that you're acting like a chun zi. You gave up your life for your sister, so I imagine it ain't easy seeing her make a life on her own, but you hurt her, and I'll kill you before you have a chance to take a breath. Won't feel bad or angry, and I'll probably even feel some respect that you had the balls to put your freedom on the line for her, but I'll kill you."

Jayne was calm, about as calm as he'd ever felt, but Simon turned white. River had been focusing on her brother, her head bent forward and her hair hiding her face, but now she turned to Jayne.

She stepped in front of him, her hand coming up to rest on his chest.

"This… this is who you pick mei mei? A killer? A stone-cold killer. A gorram dumb stone-cold killer at that?" Simon demanded. River stood, her hand braced on Jayne's chest as she breathed deep. Jayne laid his hand over the back of hers where it rested against his chest.

Simon just kept right on going. "He tried to turn us in to the feds. No one ever taught him right from wrong and now he's trying to take you away. Maybe if Mal took a bullwhip to him, he'd learn that he needs to have respect for other people, he needs to have respect for you."

Jayne looked up at Simon. "What I did were wrong. Mal's the captain, and River's my owner, so I guess they both got the right to take me to task for getting stupid, but you ain't. And I got more respect for your sister that you do. I don't go throwing my hate and anger into her mind where she can't hide. I don't go bottling things up and poisoning her with 'em. I weren't kidding. You either get control so you ain't hurting her no more, or I'll kill you."

"Do you really think I'd ever hurt her?" Simon demanded, but at least now he had some uncertainty in his voice.

"Anger." River's voice was low, verging on a moan.

"Mei mei?"

"Ain't about you and me, or else I'd beat the shit out of you and have done with it, so listen up. You ever stop and listen to her instead of shoving some needle in her arm?"

"Of course I listen." Simon didn't sound angry at all now, now he sounded so worried that he didn't even care if Jayne was in the room. He stepped forward, reaching out to lay a hand on River's shoulder, and she darted behind Jayne.

"Mei mei!" Simon tried to follow and River retreated so they ended up playing a round of ring around the Jayne. "River!"

She stopped in front of Jayne, on arm outstretched toward Simon, holding him away as she put her back to Jayne.

"No!" she snapped. "I can't shut people out but that doesn't mean I don't make my own choice," she just about growled. "I can hear you and Jayne and Mal and Kaylee and Zoe and I chose Jayne. I chose him." She stopped, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Jayne reached up and put a hand on her arm.

"Don't want your anger with elephant feet in my brain. Stampedes so fast I can't move out of the way. Anger, fear, accusation, all like lightening. Stop it." River opened her eyes and looked right at Simon.

"Mei mei, this isn't you," Simon said softly. "I have something that would help you, quiet your mind," he said as he edged toward his cabinet.

"No," she said firmly. "This is me. You just don't want to see me. You want me to be the girl I was before you left."

"That's who you should be," Simon soothed her, but Jayne could hear the frustration in his voice. "If they hadn't cut your brain open, that's who you would be."

River was shaking her head now. "I'd be grown up. I'd be getting sexed, and you wouldn't have no say in it. You'd hate whoever I bedded and complain to Mom and Dad, but I'd be grown. I am grown."

Simon stopped at that. "River."

"Baby, toddler, child, teen, grown, old. Always moving. Leaving." Jayne didn't realize the last was a command until she pulled at his arm. Still in his bare feet, he started backing up, not wanting to put his back to the doc right now.

"River?" Simon called.

"She's had as much of your stupidity and hate as she can handle in her brain right now. Give her space to recover or I swear, I will protect her even if I have to kill you," Jayne said seriously as he pulled River out into the hall. His quarters were farther away from the others than hers, so he headed that way, hoping they were still his and still unlocked. The ship was cold under his bare feet, and slap of skin against metal sounded wrong to his ear, but Jayne weren't about to go back for his boots. He just hurried River along before something else could go wrong.

Turning the corner, Jayne spotted the captain waiting at the juncture of two corridors near Jayne's room. "She okay?" he asked.

"Yep," Jayne agreed shortly. Weren't in much of a mood for conversation, especially now that River had fallen into silence.

"Simon okay?"

"For now," Jayne answered. "His table ain't the best."

"You or River?"

"River. Were me, I would have just broken his neck."

Mal sighed. "I ain't sure he ever truly thought about what it meant for her, having all of us in her head like she got. Maybe I'll talk to him."

"Well, you explain that she's my priority now. I warned him, and I'm warning you, I think he's doing her permanent harm, and I'll kill him. I'll do it quick and painless, but I'll kill him." Jayne turned to go to his room.

"This is my boat, Jayne," Mal said, reaching out and grabbing Jayne's arm to make him stop. Jayne stopped, and River stopped with him. "I already told you once, we don't turn on our own."

"I recall you told me to stab you in the front next time I was going to stab you in the back," Jayne said. "I'm just giving you that warning because if he hurts her, I'll do what I have to do. And I know you're the captain and if you figure I deserve a horse whipping or getting thrown out the airlock, I'll accept that, but that won't keep me from killing anyone who rips her apart." Jayne stared at Mal, a coldness in him that he hadn't ever felt. It weren't that he didn't care, it's that he cared so much that caring just froze out all else, even his fear of the one man who'd ever made Jayne face his own death.

"What are you defining as tearing her apart?" Mal asked. "Should I go put Zoe on guard at the infirmary now?"

Jayne looked down. River was leaning into him, but her breathing were calm enough. "Don't reckon so." River looked up at him and then over to Mal.

"His edges hurt so much more than others," she said softly. "Know all my tender spots. So much anger. So much guilt like big boulders holding back the water."

Mal sighed. "This is why I have a set in stone rule against family on a ship. Family always do know how to hurt us most, River. I'll talk to Simon. And Jayne," Mal looked at him with a deadly calm. "You kill someone on my boat without him having a gun pointed at your gut and a horsewhipping is the nicest thing I'll do to you."

Jayne didn't answer. With a long-suffering expression and a long sigh, Mal turned back toward the infirmary and headed out.

Jayne started River moving toward his quarters again. He had River inside and was closing the hatch when she sat on the floor at his feet.

"River?" he asked. Usually, he were the one on the floor. They'd have to get some rugs in here or his knees were going to be mighty sore. River reached out and traced the top of his foot with a finger.

"No boots."

"Left 'em with your brother. Be lucky if he doesn't take a knife to 'em."

"You were too busy with me to think about boots." She looked up and smiled and then with a sinuous twist, she was on her feet.

"Yeah…"

"Care about me more than the boots."

Now Jayne just looked at her like she really had lost her mind. River smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hate being confused," she muttered, her head against his chest. Jayne walked to the bunk, River dangling from him as she bent her legs up.

"Makes it easier when you just kill 'em, doesn't it?" Jayne asked.

Slowly River nodded. "Or hit 'em really hard so they stop thinking so loud. Can't hit brother, though, not even when he's being stupid. And you can't kill brother," she said as she slid down to the ground and then sat on the edge of the bunk. She pulled on Jayne's hand, and Jayne sank to his knees in front of her.

"Can I threaten to kill him?" Jayne asked. River brought both hands up and cupped his face, her fingers threading through his hair and exploring his head, the curve of his neck, the edge of his jaw. Slowly she nodded her head.

"Good," Jayne said, his cock starting to twitch as her hands stroked down his arms. "Don't rightly know if I could stop threatening him at least." River's fingertips traveled down his arms, stopping when she reached his wrist. Pulling his left hand up, she opened her eyes to stare at the slave cuff, her fingers exploring it before she turned his hand over and traced the lines on his palm.

"Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it," Jayne said softly.

"You giving me everything?" she asked.

"Yep. Already told you I'd give you my pain, back in there with Simon. I ain't taking the cuff lightly, and I never meant to deny you anything, but I had to have that out without everyone thinking I went and seduced you. Can't live with doing something they can't forgive me for," Jayne admitted softly, and that were sounding a whole lot like weakness.

"You're all itchy and I have all the sharp edges in my mind. Want to take you somewhere nice, and I ain't anywhere nice right now," River said softly.

"Don't have to be nice, I'll follow you anyway." Jayne shifted as his knees complained about the metal floor.

River slowly lay down, pulling at Jayne until he climbed in the bed with her. It wasn't exactly a big bunk, but she curled around him so she didn't take up any space at all. Jayne could almost feel the fatigue laying on her like a blanket, and he felt a flare of anger that Simon could be so gorram clueless. River pinched him.

"Ain't like I got anything else to think about, laying here," Jayne defended himself without even pretending ignorance.

"Tell me about Vera," River said softly. Her hand stroked his hip and tugged at his shirt until she could slip a hand inside and just rest it against his warm stomach.

"Tell everyone I got it off a mercenary I killed," Jayne started slowly. He'd told that story so often he believed it himself most nights when he lay here looking at her. Mal had hung her back on the wall of Jayne's quarters, and Jayne could see her now if he looked over his shoulder. He glanced that way and then looked back at River. Her hair had fallen into her face, and he brought his hand up, brushing it away with his thumb.

River poked him in the stomach. "Keep telling," she said.

"Yes, mistress," he joked, but then his thoughts turned to the story, and the smile just faded. "She belonged to my step-father. He always told me I were worthless, that I'd end up in some gorram jail and break my ma's heart…"

Jayne lay in his bunk, stroking River's hair and telling her the story of the night he left home until her eyes drifted closed and she finally slept. Then he just lay there watching her, catching sight of the black cuff locked around his wrist every time he brought his hand up to stroke her long hair.

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