Thoughts Colored Ugly
Rated ADULT for femdom, slavery, and S&M

check out some Chinese curse words

Jayne stirred a bit in sleep. Serenity was rumbling, the soft growl of being at dock. He rolled over to go back to sleep and found a warm body in his bunk with him. Hands tightened around his middle, and Jayne had to catch up with his own mind. River. Slavery. Jayne looked down at the dark head resting on his chest, and he felt so much that he couldn't even rightly put words to it.

"Jayne's thinking loud," she muttered, shifting against him. Jayne could feel his cock stir, but the itch were back. Course, it weren't back bad enough to give up the feeling of a woman laying in his arms. Was that as much as anything that had made him fall so hard. Were women plenty who'd slept with him, some for money and some because Jayne had a reputation for being thoughtful in bed. Weren't no women who wanted to wake up with him. Were a few who had gotten so gorram drunk they were still in the bed in the morning, but they didn't rightly wake up with him. They woke up with their hangovers and Jayne was just in the room when they done it.

Now he woke up with River every morning, those lazy minutes before either of them were ready to move, their legs tangled in the sheets. Jayne knew full well River could have bedded him already. One touch, one whisper on these mornings, and he'd do anything to avoid losing this. But as much as she had worked to seduce him once his brain was as awake as his cock, she hadn't never taken the sex. Was hard to guard against giving someone your power when that person were so careful about not taking it.

It was like being on his knees. That first night, he kept waiting for something, for her to call him weak or humiliate him. Never happened. He went on his knees, and the only thing she ever did was look at him like he was the biggest prize at the fair. Sometimes she'd have him kneel close so she could touch him, fingers grazing his neck, his hair, the top of his shoulder.

Got hard to remember to be on guard when night after night weren't no bad happening. She'd read to him, stories with men who'd gotten sexed by girls only to find out the girls were already dead with evil spirits making the dead bodies walk around. Jayne liked that one even though she'd had to explain the French revolution to him. River never seemed to get lost when reading a story, and she would do it for hours, until Jayne's knees got sore, even with the pillow, and she'd tug at him and he'd sit cross-legged on the floor leaning back into her legs.

"Pretty thoughts," River mumbled as she stretched. She always made a funny little huffing noise first thing in the morning, like she was trying to get her lungs in the pattern of breathing. Jayne closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of her wakin' now. When the family had first moved back to the farm after his grandfather died, they'd lived in one room, the three of them, and Jayne had known how his folks woke up, the way his pop would always talk so soft to his ma first thing in the morning. Years later he learned how his brother Matty would wake complaining about the time being too early or the pancakes smelling burnt. He even knew the morning sounds of rough men he'd bunked with on different ships. River was the only woman he knew the sounds of. Well, unless you counted them who'd drunk too much and woke up groaning or retching.

"All kinds of pretty," River sighed after she'd finished her little breaths.

"Thinking on how today is the first day I ain't holding anything back," Jayne said quietly. River shifted in the bed, her hand slipped out of the covers and reached up, her thumb circling a spot on his cheek while her fingers lay along his jaw.

"Should shower," she said.

"Showered yesterday," Jayne complained. He'd showered more in the last week or so than the last year, but he'd never bedded a woman without washing up first, and having River in his bed all the time did suggest he was going to be washing a good deal more. River made a little laugh and crawled over him to get to the far side of the bed.

"Slept in clothes." She made a face. "Have to get my things in here."

"We can do that today," Jayne said. He hadn't been sure she wanted to keep his quarters seeing as how they were smaller than hers, but he preferred the privacy and security, and couldn't even pretend to be unhappy that she'd picked his room. She unlocked the hatch to his door and reached out without even looking, pulling her traveling bag in.

"How. . .?" Jayne sat up.

"Kaylee," River shrugged. Jayne could only shake his head at the way she casually knew things no one could know. He sure weren't ever going to forget that she were slightly on the side of different. He watched as she pulled her dress off, the fabric sliding over her smooth skin before she dropped it to the floor and stepped over to him, naked as the day she come out of that freezer in Serenity's hold. This was the first time he'd seen her, and he stared at the curves, the unmarked skin, the play of muscles under her skin.

She moved to him, stalking toward him, legs bent in that pose that almost meant attack, but weren't quite right for that. When she got close enough to put her hands on Jayne's shoulders, he reached up and rested his palms against her hips, feeling the heat there. She looked almost fragile, but touching her in a way he hadn't ever touched her before, he could feel the muscle under that surface. It were like a sand viper, looking all innocent up top, but then showing its red belly right about the time it poisoned you.

"So much want. Jayne was stupid back at the auction, thinking he didn't want me," River teased.

"Didn't think you were up to the job of taking me in hand," he admitted. She stepped back, and Jayne went to let go, but her hands landed on top of his so that she pulled him forward, off the bunk. Jayne ended up on his knees, his large hands still braced on the curve of her hips.

"Were mighty stupid," Jayne admitted as he swallowed. He hadn't peed, and the need to pee and the massive erection and the tight pants he'd slept in weren't making it all that easy to just wait as she looked down at him, her fingers playing with his ear.

"So much strength. You were all ready to kill Simon."

"He were hurting you. But I wouldn't have done it unlessing I had to."

"No killing brother. Just threatening," she added after a second's thought. "You want so much," she whispered.

Jayne licked his lips and tried hard to focus on the way her skin curved into her belly button and not the parts he sometimes got accused of staring at overmuch. "Yeah," he agreed. "Reckon I do."

"Can't have," she whispered firmly. Jayne's cock twitched so that his eyes just about watered. These pants were too gorram tight for this to be anything close to comfortable. "Pleasure comes after forgiveness, and my Jayne needs forgiveness first," River murmured, her fingers tweaking his ear just enough to sent a flair of pain and need through him.

"Wouldn't want to deny you," Jayne said as he look up at River. He tried to focus on her eyes, but he had just such a perfect view of those twin mounds, the skin even paler than the rest of her with the nipples tight and peaked. "I mean, you been wanting to get sexed, so it ain't right to put this off if you want it."

River chuckled, pulling on his ear harder, and Jayne was afraid of coming right there in his pants like some gorram teenager.

"Silly Jayne trying to turn me around, but forgiveness should come first. Pain and then forgiveness," she said, her voice becoming much more serious now. "Not pain like puts an edge on all the round so you can feel the round better. Not pain that makes the world more real and paints colors on the flat numbers. Real pain. Pain that is all sharp edges that cuts out the rotting bits and leaves what's left bleeding."

Jayne took a deep breath, thinking that for once he understood her perfectly. Almost disturbing how well he could follow that train of thought, and he wasn't sure it said much about his sanity.

"Ain't going to like this, am I?"

River stroked his head, her fingers reaching down and brushing up under his chin. She was shaking her head, her hair swirling around them both, ends ticking Jayne. "But after, all the infection is gone. Puss guilt like yellow under the surface, there if I poke too hard. Have to lance the boil."

"Ariel," Jayne said shortly.

She nodded.

"Ain't never felt right... not once I knew what they done cutting you open. Wanted to back out when I found that out, but sometimes it's like a stone rolling down hill and I start doing something stupid and don't quite know how to stop."

"Pain cuts a new path," River said softly.

"Reckon it does," Jayne agreed. He put his hands on his own thighs as he leaned back and focused on that patch of skin right under River's belly button. "Rather get it over than have it hanging between us."

"I'm not mad," River said.

Jayne just nodded. "Wouldn't want you to do this is you were," he said. "We doing this here or out with the others?"

"The others?" River stopped, and Jayne glanced up. From the expression on her face, she was rummaging around in his thoughts again.

"Ain't going to be able to keep anything from you, am I?" he asked with a sigh, knowing what she was about to say because it was exactly what he was thinking.

"You want them to see," she said softly.

"I figure they have a right to. Captain was right, weren't just you two I put at risk."

"Do you need me to chain you?" River asked. Jayne jerked as he thought of being helpless in front of them.

"Often as we get boarded, ain't safe," Jayne said quickly.

"Do you need me to chain you or do you need to stand there and take the lashes, not moving just because I told you to stand there... strong enough to endure just for me?"

Jayne's erection had been sagging some at the thought of actual punishment, but that perked it up a bit.

River nodded, making up her mind. "Need to talk to the captain. You should shower and get breakfast." She turned, giving Jayne a mighty up close view of one seriously well formed ass as she headed over to her bag. She pulled out a shirt and pants, still nicely folded from the shop they come from. Jayne thought about pointing out that the shirt and pants he had on were still clean enough, but he'd lost the discussion about wrinkles without even understanding it, so new clothes.

River pulled on underwear and a clean dress, one that had swirls that reminded Jayne of a comet cloud in red and brown, and then she was up and out the door, her bare feet up the ladder before Jayne could even get to his feet.

Breakfast. He wasn't feeling too much like breakfast. Somehow he didn't think she planned on taking it easy on him when he was under the whip, so eating a whole lot might just lead to some serious embarrassment when he threw it back up. Picking up his clothes, he headed for the showers and figured he'd get a little toast before she come to get him.

Rubbing his sore knees a bit, Jayne looked at the black cuff locked around his wrist. Big part of him didn't want to do this. Big part thought jumping ship right now in Persephone were a good deal smarter than letting River have at his back with a whip. If he didn't have the cuff, and if he didn't know River were so contrary and single-minded on owning him, he might run. He ran his thumb over the warm metal. He sure was grateful he couldn't.

By the time Jayne got to the galley, he was washed and shaved and dressed in the clothes River had picked out. Kaylee was sitting at the table when he walked in, an engine part sitting next to her plate. She studied it a bit between bites of what looked to be passable food, something with beans. Inara sat next to her picking at some cheese.

"Jayne," Inara said, looking up as he came in. "You're looking surprisingly groomed."

Jayne glared at her, suspecting some sort of insult. Were annoying when the whore could insult you and you couldn't even quite catch the whole insult, just glimpse the tail of it darting into the woods.

"Back from whoring early?" he asked. "Captain said we wouldn't see you until tomorrow."

She blinked at him and ate another piece of cheese, not even disturbed enough to get offended. "A day early. I had planned a shopping trip, but River sent a message that she picked up the merchandise I was looking for."

"It's probably in the cargo bay then. She purchased a whole heap of stuff."

"I hear that," Inara said with a half smile. It took Jayne a second to catch her meaning on that, and even then he weren't sure whether she meant it as insult or not. Of all the people on the boat, Inara and Simon bugged him the most. Never saying what they meant, they had all these manners that always left him feeling like he was doing things wrong. If they were a family on the Serenity, those two were definitely playing the part of Matty, the annoying and always underfoot brother that you desperatly wanted to space, even if you wouldn't let anyone else space them.

Kaylee looked up with a smile. "River surprised all of us buying Jayne like that, and keeping him? I thought Simon were going to give birth to all kinds of kittens last night."

"I can imagine," Inara said sympathetically as Jayne headed for the kitchen looking for some bread. "Is he still upset?"

"He calmed a mite bit after the captain talked to him. Ain't real happy though. Oh. Oh, I just thought on something. The captain ain't waiting on Jayne so that means--"

"Not that simple," Inara cut her off. Jayne found bread and cut a hunk, smearing butter on one side.

"Should be," Kaylee said in her pouting voice, but Inara didn't answer.

"Jayne, that all you having? We got some real good eggs at market. You should try them."

"Don't want a big breakfast," Jayne said as he sat across from Kaylee. "So," he took a big bite of bread, "Kaylee caught you up on River and me?" he asked. Inara got that slightly disgusted look on her face she so often had around him. Her and Simon, always judging, and never giving Jayne very high marks on the score sheet.

"Yes, she said the captain reports that River's been enforcing her ownership rights and cuffed you. I will admit that I'm surprised River has an interest in that area. Cuffing or collaring someone usually requires some concerted effort over a prolonged period of time."

Jayne frowned at that. "You don't think she likes me?" he asked.

Inara blinked at him for a second and then picked up a piece of cheese, nibbling at it with her hand partially hiding her mouth. Thought she was being so subtle, hiding that she was laughing at him. He glared at her.

Clearing her throat, Inara started again. "I didn't say anything about her not liking you. I merely meant that River seems easily distracted. Putting a cuff on someone requires you to pay attention to them at all times."

"Not like I asked her to," Jayne said.

"I'm sure she wants to keep you," Inara nodded. "I hear she is having a much better time concentrating now than she has had lately."

Jayne snorted. "Can say that. Broke my prick over all the concentrating she's been doing."

Suddenly Inara was choking, grabbing the edge of the table and coughing and turning red.

"Lord. Don't go choking on us," Kaylee said as she sprang up and started beating Inara on the back. Inara waved her off with a jeweled hand.

"I'm okay," she gasped as she reached for her water. "You didn't mention anything about Jayne having medical difficulties," she said after a big drink.

"Didn't seem polite to talk about a man's parts like that," Kaylee explained.

"Don't know why not," Jayne put in his two bits as he shoved the rest of his bread in his mouth. "Went and got myself sold like a gorram chun zi and had some woman buy me, which makes me sound like one of those idiots from those books you're always reading. Breaking my cock is about the only part of this that don't make me look the fool."

"The only part that doesn't… Oh, this I need to hear," Inara said.

"Jayne damaged his man parts jerking off too much because he refused to bed River, even though she were mighty insistent about getting bedded, at least from what I seen."

"She were," Jayne agreed. "Drove me right past frustration, but I weren't going to have Mal or you think I were bedding a child. So, she had to convince you lot that this were her choice before I were willing to give in on certain things."

"And you… damaged yourself?" Inara asked, her eyebrows up higher than Jayne had ever seen. Jayne shrugged.

"Doc said I did it too much, and River says I done it too hard, but with her sliding up to me every time I turned around and me spending nights not doing much but looking at her, it weren't easy, especially considering I ain't been sexed in a while. Healthy male here, it ain't normal to keep things bottled up."

"No, I quite agree," Inara said, her voice still verging on amusement, and Jayne glared at her.

Kaylee shifted her engine part farther down the table. "You sure you don't want more to eat, Jayne? Didn't have enough for a bird, and if River got Simon straightened out, I'm sure you need your protein."

"Simon's straightened out?" Jayne asked. Kaylee blushed and went back to studying her part.

"He ain't straight exactly," she admitted with an unhappy expression. "He isn't talking about River as a little girl any more, though. More like he thinks you've done something to her. There were talk of drugs and mind control last night."

Jayne snorted, and Kaylee gave a little shrug. "Captain made a noise that sounded something like that when Simon brought it up. Pointed out that your style is more on the intimidating and killing end than on fancy schemes with all the little intricacies."

"Yes, that's more Mal's style," Inara sighed. "Fancy schemes with little to no chance of working. Did Simon really think Jayne would drug her?"

"I'm a right bastard sometimes, but I wouldn't ever drug a woman for getting sexed." Jayne focused on Inara. "You talk to that whore Petaline. Did she say any of her girls had cause to complain about me?" Jayne demanded. "I swear, I'm going to beat that man of yours, Kaylee." Jayne went from poking his finger at Inara to poking it at Kaylee.

"Petaline says her girls sometimes ask if you'll be coming back through. You did make a favorable impression on them," Inara admitted.

"See?" Jayne demanded with another poke of his finger at Kaylee. "You tell that man of yours what Inara said."

"I somehow doubt the good opinion of whores will go far with the doctor," Inara sighed.

"It should. Man is truist around whores. You don't have to impress someone you already bought. And I ain't never left an unhappy whore behind me."

"You've done your best to never leave a whore behind at all," Inara said softly. Jayne glared at her. Weren't nothing wrong with visiting a whore, but she went and made it sound like he were doing something wrong.

"Not like every man can afford a fancy whore like yourself or get a pretty girl like Kaylee into bed."

"You think I'm pretty?" Kaylee asked with a smile. "He thinks I'm pretty," Kaylee announced to Inara.

"River ain't the only one on this boat who ain't got all her brain cells in the right order," Jayne sighed. He'd spent months trying to get her to look at him, had finally settled for being all brotherly, and now she was looking at him with that smile.

The smile vanished and she reached over and gave him a punch on the arm. "Both of us are taken. I was just enjoying a compliment, so don't go getting that expression," she said as she frowned at him.

"What? I ain't looking at you like nothing," Jayne defended himself as he rubbed his arm. "I ain't dumb enough to go looking at some other woman right before River takes a whip to my back."

"She… what?" Kaylee's voice got all small. "I think I done heard something wrong. Did you say River is going to take a whip to your back?"

"Yeah," Jayne shrugged. He really didn't want to get into this discussion, not considering what he'd done to deserve it. Weren't like he'd shot a man. Was some honor in shooting a man, or stabbing a man or even beating him half to death with your knuckles, but turning on your own crew. . .

Jayne stopped and scratched his crotch thoughtfully as he pondered that one. Was a time when he didn't think twice over shooting his captain for a better deal on living quarters. When had he turned into someone who cared about honor? Then again, when had he turned back into someone who cared about honor because he remembered being a boy and shouting at his step-father often enough, calling the man a gan ni niang for hitting his ma. . . hell called him that for hitting him and Matty too. Even if him and Matty screwed up, which they done often enough, the way he'd light into them just weren't right. Grown man didn't have no business hitting a child or any woman who weren't big enough to hit back. Now Zoe, she was fair game for anyone. River too, even if she didn't look it. Jayne jerked his hand away from his crotch, cursing himself for starting that. Now that he'd itched it once, he just wanted to do it more.

Jayne looked from one woman to the other. Inara was just back to her cheese and her sour expression, but Kaylee had a look on her face like someone had pissed on her engine. "What?"

"Why would River do that?" Kaylee nearly whispered.

"Ariel." Jayne got up and moved to the kitchen. He didn't want to eat more, but some distance seemed wise. Kaylee got up and followed him.

"But you were real sorry. We wouldn't have even figured it out if you weren't sorry and buying stuff for everyone, which were a little out of character."

"Don't matter. I got stupid."

"But that was so long ago. And you wouldn't do anything like that now, not now that Simon and River are really a part of the crew, even Simon knows that. He felt real bad about bringing that up, almost as bad as he felt about threatening to cut off your dangling bits. He doesn't feel bad about the trying to bribe you or get you thrown off the ship, but give him time. If he can forgive you, River should be able to."

Jayne sighed and leaned against the counter. "Doesn't matter what the doc does or thinks. I did something wrong, and River's well within her rights to give out punishment. She'll do it, and then she'll forgive me and it'll be in the past."

"But it's in the past now," Kaylee argued.

"Kaylee," Inara said softly. "Come away from Jayne. He's right, this is between him and River."

Kaylee turned to Inara, turning that pleading expression on her which was a relief to Jayne. He couldn't take Kaylee looking at him with that pity and worry, but then again, he weren't liking the way she was turning that attention to getting Inara on her side. "We gotta do something, talk to the captain maybe," Kaylee said as she went to stand next to Inara's chair.

Inara reached up and put a hand on her arm. "If I went to the captain, I would tell Mal to stay out of it," Inara said. "Whipping, both for pleasure and for catharsis is a skill every companion learns, so I have respect for its place in a relationship."

"But. . . " Kaylee just stopped and looked from Jayne to Inara with something real close to anguish in her eyes.

"Let them be," Inara said softly. "River obviously cares about Jayne, so you have to trust her to take care of his needs."

"So, you don't think River will really hurt him with the whipping?" Kaylee said hopefully.

Inara glanced over and Jayne met her eye, refusing to look worried about a punishment he'd earned. Couldn't erase the past, but he could gorram walk into the whipping like a man. Inara looked back at Kaylee. "I think she's going to hurt him rather badly. However, I think Jayne is the sort of man who shall survive a whipping without too much fuss."

Jayne looked at Inara in confusion. To his memory, she hadn't never said anything nice about him, and that sounded almost nice. Kaylee looked at him all worry and fidgeting. "Should find River," Jayne announced to them. "Kaylee, you might want to avoid cargo bay." Kaylee didn't answer, but she watched Jayne leave with worried eyes.

Walking down the corridor in old boots, it occurred to Jayne that the womenfolk on this boat were a whole sight more manipulative than the men. At one point, Kaylee could have gotten him to do most anything with that look of hers, but that time was gone. Right now, he just wanted punishment over so he could get to that forgiveness River was holding out like a prize at the end of a hard race. That was something worth enduring the whip for.

Jayne finally found River in the pilot's chair, Mal sitting co-pilot, which were strange considering they were parked so there wasn't much piloting to be done. She had her feet pulled up under her as she looked over the consol where Wash's dinosaurs still sat like some sort of gravemarker.

River held out a hand and Jayne went to her side, sanding behind the chair.

"Jayne," Mal offered.

"Mal," Jayne gave right back, and then the talking seemed to be pretty much done.

River looked from one to the other with that particular expression that said she was listening to others' thoughts. Eventually Mal sighed.

"I don't hold a grudge about Ariel," Mal said as he studied Jayne.

"Me neither."

"You? What would you have to hold a grudge about?" Mal immediately demanded.

"You just about spaced me. If you want to gut shoot me or horsewhip me, I ain't so good as to think I don't deserve it, but you were going to space me," Jayne pointed out indignantly.

"Oh." Mal fell quiet.

"And I forgive the captain for being stupid," River announced into the silence after a minute or so. "And now I need to give Jayne pain so I can forgive him for being stupid."

And there was the awkward silence again. Mal's eyes went from River to him and back again as River stood up.

"Jayne, you okay with this?" Mal suddenly asked. Jayne looked over in surprised and then glanced at River, but she didn't look like she was taking offense at Mal sticking his nose in their business.

"If I weren't, I'd take it up with River," Jayne answered. Mal stared at him for a long minute, and Jayne struggled to find some words to put on how he was feeling. "Ain't looking forward to it." Mal snorted, and Jayne ignored him as he kept going. "But I'd rather it be done than have it hanging over me. I suppose it's only right that I pay some sort of price because what I done was…" the word unforgivable was near to coming off Jayne's tongue, but he pulled it back because he really hoped that wasn't true.

"Stupid," River supplied for him instead.

"Yeah, that," Jayne agreed.

Mal looked at him with a frown before nodding as he obviously reached some conclusion in his own head. "I'm going to go get Simon." Jayne opened his mouth and Mal held up his hand to keep him from interrupting. "I ain't never had a horsewhipping on this boat, and I want the doc there just in case something goes wrong because we both know that accidents happen. Won't take no argument on that point."

Jayne glanced at River. Horsewhipping. He'd hoped it'd be a flogging, but she was taking this punishment seriously. River's hand came out and rested on his arm for a second, and Jayne took some comfort from the warmth of it, the weight as it rested on his skin. He nodded before looking at the captain. "I ain't got no problem with the doc being there. I figure he's got a right to watch seeing as how it were his hide I tried to turn in." Mal looked kinda dumbstruck. "But I was going to point out that if that chou ba guai bastard tries laying into me with his words again, I'm real likely to punch him in his mouth and make him even uglier, so you warn him that he's there to watch and take whatever pleasure he gets from it *silently*." Jayne crossed his arms and glared at Mal meaningfully.

"I'll be having that discussion with him," Mal agreed, and then River pushed at Jayne, urging him out of the room, and Jayne went. The bread he'd eaten was already heavy on his stomach and he feared he was going to get sick even before the whipping started. He hadn't expected her to go for a horsewhipping. The single tail horsewhip could do a man a whole heap of harm.

River slipped her arm into Jayne's. "Amygdala to the adrenal medulla and laterodorsal tegmental nucleus releasing epinephrine and norepinephrine," she said calmly as they walked the corridor.

"What?"

"Fear," River clarified.

Jayne didn't answer as they walked the stairs down to the cargo level. He couldn't rightly deny he had fear running through his guts, and he didn't really know what she wanted him to say about it.

"Fear won't go away until you've had punishment and forgiveness." She said it all matter of fact, not like Inara who talked about it with something like sympathy or Kaylee who were horrified. "Amygdala makes memories that imprint so deep you won't ever forget again," she finished.

Jayne had no idea what she was talking about, but he figured the not forgetting part was going to be about right. He hadn't let anyone touch him for punishment since the day he punched his step father. What the man and his friends did later that night, that weren't a punishment, that was them beating on him. Jayne pushed all those thoughts aside as River led him into the cargo bay. The loader was still sitting there but all the boxes and bags were gone.

"Feel things so deep. Hide them under rough words, so others don't think you feel it all." River looked up at him, and Jayne felt stripped naked.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he said quickly. "How we doing this?" Jayne stepped to the middle of the cargo bay. "The others know?"

"I told Zoe and Captain. You told Inara and Kaylee," River said, dropping the discussion of just what Jayne was feeling. He nodded as she went to one of the hatches where they kept merchandise they shouldn't rightly have at all. She pulled the false panel and brought out a whip. It wasn't a horsewhip, no matter what Mal had said. It was still a wicked looking thing, though. Had ten or twelve long tails that were going to sting like a son of a bitch.

"Let's get it over then," Jayne said as he pulled his shirt over his head without bothering with buttons. "Where you want me?" He looked around the hold and could see a half dozen places where he could lean or lay while she done this.

"Fear," River whispered, her warm hand on his back near to making him jump out of his skin.

"Shouldn't outta sneak up on a man," he growled. She just looked at him with a small frown of confusion. "Just want this over," he muttered as he held his shirt, not sure where to put it.

River's voice got that far-off sound to it. "Father made you go get a switch. You'd agonize over which to bring. Too big would hurt too much. Too small and he'd go get one. Hated that more than the whipping. Hated walking across the yard and seeing your father's face. How old were you when you moved to grandfather's home?" River asked. Girl didn't seem to be good at staying on track today, Jayne wondered if should be worried about that.

"Two or three, just after my grandfather died," Jayne answered slowly as he focused on the cargo bay, not sure he wanted to get into the past when he had a present he was worrying about a good deal more. Jayne clenched his teeth against emotions he didn't want nagging at him when he had something to get through. His father was dead and rotting in the ground and talking about him wouldn't change that fact.

River leaned against his back, her arms circling his waist. "Jayne did something stupid and there *has* to be punishment. Stratum corneum, nerve endings, stratum germinativum, stratum spinosum, down into dermis where guilt lays."

"Know that. Ain't saying anything against it," Jayne said carefully as he tried to push his emotions aside. The one hand circling his waist still held the whip so he had a real good view of it: braided leather, cured leather, wood handle, so Jayne found that mass of emotions stewing in him pushed right out of the way by fear.

He could hear a ruckus from the walk, heavy boots that were sure to be Mal. "Where you want me?" he asked quickly. River slowly let him go and just stood behind him. Jayne didn't even look back.

"Leaning against the hauler," she said. It would put him at an awkward angle, but Jayne didn't complain as he walked over to the back of the vehicle. Tossing his shirt onto one of the seats, he put both palms flat against the back. It left him bending over some.

"This is barbaric, why do I have to be here?" Simon was complaining.

"Thought this were what you wanted," Jayne called out, but he didn't turn his head to look at Mal and the doctor as he heard them come down the stairs.

"I never… Okay, I said you should be horsewhipped, I certainly never meant it. As a doctor, I am against all forms of pain."

"And I'm against accidents on my ship with my crew, so you'll be here making sure there aren't any," Mal insisted firmly.

"Mei mei, whatever has gotten in your head that this is somehow necessary, I'm telling you that you need to stop. Hurting another human being is never right." Simon sounded all logical, but the sound of the whip cracking against Jayne's back sounded in his ears about a half second before the pain registered. Jayne hissed. Guess Simon's logic hadn't convinced her. Gorram whip hurt.

"River!" Simon called out. The lash came down again. The lashes from the first stroke were already fading from fire to a dull ache, but the new hit set his whole back on fire.

"Stay out of it!" Mal called, and Jayne could hear scuffling. As the whip landed several times, the rhythm of it caught Jayne on every breath out, opening pain as the long tails burned his back. Then the burn sunk into his skin, turning into a deep ache that reached down into his guts.

The whip came down again and again, and Jayne rocked forward against the hauler, struggling against an instinct that would have him turn around and fight. Another hit came higher, catching the top of his shoulder where the skin was still untouched, and Jayne flinched, one hand coming up off the hauler before he got back into position. River's hand was there then, hot against his back, burning and making him bite back a curse. Fingers trailed across his back leaving a hot path of pain as she came to his side and leaned against the hauler next to him.

"You done?" Jayne asked in confusion. His back was hot and tight so that he couldn't think of much else. The middle throbbed where the lash marks had overlapped, but overall it weren't bad at all.

"No," River answered. She just looked at him for several seconds. "Why am I doing this?"

Jayne groaned. Gorram memories of his weren't ever going to do him any good. He remembered this little ritual from being a boy. "Any chance you'll just get on with the whipping and not make me do the talking?" Jayne asked.

"No."

"You're a sadist, know this, right?" Jayne asked.

River looked at him very seriously. "Cutting out the wrong hurts."

"Ain't much use arguing that. Fine." Jayne took a deep breath and remembered the rules from a time back when he'd been a different Jayne Cobb. "I tried to sell you and your brother out to the feds."

Jayne could hear some disturbance behind him, and then Mal's voice rose up loud and strong. "I'd take it as a kindness if you kept quiet and didn't make me get unhappy with you because you ain't going to like it if I get unhappy."

"Stop this or I will."

"No, you won't."

"Or what?" Simon demanded.

"Seeing as how I make out the duty roster. I see potential for you cleaning the septic system for a month," Mal warned in that tone that weren't good news for the person on the other end. Jayne smiled evilly knowing that at least Simon was getting some of the captain's ire. River was frowning in their direction.

"Stupid brother," she complained darkly. "This is for you and me and he's being a big zhu tou." She sighed as she walked to the back again. Jayne braced himself. The next hit was worse. The break had given his blood time to rush to the surface, and it felt like she were cutting him open. Two more lashes came quick on the heels, and now Jayne could feel his legs start to get unsteady as the pain built. Another hit and another and another, and Jayne was caught so out of breath that the world got gray for a second. The hand was back then, bringing heat to a burning desert as it trailed across his back. Jayne arched his back to get away from that touch, and his muscles complained mightily.

"What did you try to do before you sold us out?" River asked calmly. Jayne had such a mass of white noise in his head he had trouble thinking about anything other than the pain in his back which was starting to sink into him.

"Told Mal to put you off," he finally answered.

"He said no. What rule did he give you?" River asked the question calmly, but then she walked around him, fingernails scoring across his back so that all thought skittered right out of his brain. Jayne couldn't even catch his breath. "What rule?" she asked, leaning into him, the buttons on her dress pressing points of pain into him.

"We don't never leave our own behind," Jayne answered, his brain struggling to find the answer in the scatterings of his thought.

"We don't never leave our own behind," River repeated softly. "You broke that rule."

The next hits weren't a surprise. Jayne let his mind sink into the pain, one strike fading into the next like fireworks against his back that drove the air right out of him. When the whipping stopped, he sagged forward, his elbows braced on the hauler as he struggled to pull enough air into his lungs to drive back the gray. Again, her hand brought fire to his back.

"Jayne, the man on the planet was stupid. He was greedy and wanted the reward. If he wasn't stupid, what should he have done?"

"Don't gorram know," Jayne complained. His brain weren't up to even counting his own fingers, so figuring out other people's motivations weren't something he could do right now. His back was fire and his legs shook so bad that Jayne had to focus just to keep upright.

"You're a fed. You know where prisoners are. What should you do?" River asked, her breath in his ear. Jayne rested his forehead against the cool of the hauler, wishing he could lay his back against that and ease the heat that burned him, but he knew it weren't over yet.

"Should call it in," Jayne answered as the questions finally made sense.

"Two by two, hands of blue," River said softly. "They would have come. What would they have done?" Jayne knew what was down that path. Knew since he'd heard the screams of the surviving feds but he'd pushed it so far back he never looked that bit of guilt in the face. Even now he flinched from the truth and didn't answer.

River vanished again, and Jayne forced himself to push off from the hauler, to support himself on arms that tingled and shook near as bad as his legs. Jayne could hear the slaps of leather against skin. He could feel the heat surge and flair without feeling the actual bite of the whip in one spot. His world became the heat in his back and the struggle to keep his legs under him. He weren't going to collapse. He just weren't. He was Jayne Cobb, and no whipping could take him down.

"What would they have done?" River demanded, but her voice was farther away, not whispers in his ear, but a command from a distance. Jayne gasped for air.

"What would they have done?" Louder.

"Brought in ships," Jayne blurted. "Shot down the Serenity. Killed everyone." Jayne's legs nearly gave out, and they might have if he'd had just the truth weighing on him, but the whip returned, and the fire centered him on that pain. Would have killed everyone. Would have killed Kaylee dead when he had told himself the whole time he were trying to protect her. Would have made the only place Jayne'd called home since he was sixteen years old a pile of scorched scrap. Came so close. If someone else hadn't been as stupid as he had been... Jayne gasped for a shuddering breath as pain of a whole other sort rolled through him until he thought he was going to throw up.

Jayne closed his eyes, and focused on the rhythm of the whip against his skin. That was a pain he knew. He could feel that. It was safer feeling that. The world vanished into the truth of the whip against his skin, as he got a light-headed feeling that left him so dizzy that he had to widen his legs to keep from toppling over like an unbalanced load. He only knew the whipping had stopped when he couldn't hear the slap of leather anymore. Silence.

He leaned into the hauler for what seemed like a long time. Jayne wondered if she had just left, but he didn't have the strength to turn and look. His mouth tasted of bile, and Jayne swallowed back an urge to be sick. Fingers stroked his cheek this time, and Jayne opened his eyes and looked at her. River's eyes were bright, like she was trying not to cry.

"What rule would have kept us all safe?" she asked.

"We don't never leave our own behind," Jayne immediately answered. River smiled at him, stroking his cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Two strokes. Strokes you won't forget," River said, and she showed him the horsewhip. The single tail of dark leather stood out against the white of the hauler. Jayne couldn't form words; he just nodded.

She walked behind him.

"Mei mei! No!"

"Doc, you stay outta this."

"As the doctor, I'm putting a stop to this whipping right now."

"You do that, and you'd better hook that fancy gizmo you got up to him, and I'd better see something flashing red. If there ain't some reason for thinking Jayne's on the verge of death, I'll let River finish and deal with you myself."

"What? With a whip? This is barbaric."

Jayne knew the voices, he just couldn't bother himself to sort out who was who. The words washed over him, meaningless noise.

"Jayne's mine. He won't forget the rule again." River's voice Jayne knew. The rule he knew. They didn't leave their own behind. The first hit of the horsewhip caught him across his shoulders, and he fell forward onto the loader. Warm trickled down his back, blood or sweat he didn't know, but it aggravated the fire that had soaked into every cell of his body.

"One," River said behind him.

Jayne gulped air and pushed himself back up on legs that trembled under him. The second line of fire caught him just below the first, and Jayne could see red splattering against the hauler as he fell to his knees gasping.

Strong hands caught him, the arm around his waist opening new fires that threatened to consume him, and Jayne couldn't rightly think past the pain as he struggled to get his legs under him. Couldn't even remember why he had to get his legs under him, but he did.

A second arm caught him so that now he was between two bodies. Jayne could feel them lift his weight, the muscle of his back screaming, but at least he could get his legs under him as he blinked to clear the darkness from his vision.

"You should put him down. I'll get a stretcher," a voice called from a distance. Jayne blinked again and saw River on one side, her arm around his waist and her hand on his stomach.

"Strong Jayne. No more guilt." She smiled up at him, and Jayne couldn't even form a word for a second. Didn't matter what he did, she'd forgiven him. "All the guilt is gone." She said the words like a command.

"Gorram well should be," Jayne muttered. "And I can walk. I ain't riding up in no stretcher unless I got a leg missing." He had more to say, but words kept sliding right out of his brain.

"Ain't never seen anyone take a whipping like that without being tied down."

Jayne turned his head and spotted Mal on his other side. He blinked, trying to figure out what was wrong with the wall behind Mal. Took him a second to realize they were walking, his feet sluggishly imitation motion as they basically carried him toward the infirmary.

"Do I have to worry about you tending Jayne?" Mal asked. Jayne couldn't even figure that out until Simon answered from somewhere behind them.

"What? No. No, I'll tend him. I have painkillers that will help, and I should close that one mark or it might scar."

"No." River said the word quietly and without looking away from Jayne. "He needs the scar," she said without even trying to explain the comment.

"Boo-tai jung-tzahng-duh," Mal muttered. Jayne weren't sure whether the captain meant River's insanity or his own because she was right about the scar. If he was going to feel this much pain, he'd earned a mark he could show for it.

"River…" Simon choked on the word.

"She's better than I thought at this slave-owning," Jayne muttered. They finally reached the infirmary and Mal and River helped him up on the dented table, laying him on his stomach.

"A mite too good for my comfort," Mal sighed. "Do me a favor, Jayne." Mal bent down to look Jayne in the face. "Never, ever do something so stupid as to earn a whipping like this again. I got enough gray hairs worrying about what stupid thing you're going to do next, I don't want to be worrying about the state of your back after you've done it."

"Ain't ever looking for a repeat of this," Jayne agreed. "And doc?"

Simon appeared in front of him which were nice considering that Jayne didn't think he could go twisting around much without passing out. "You mention Ariel to me again, you ever mention it other than as some planet we ain't like to go to again, and I'll punch you in the mouth hard enough to make you lose teeth."

"I…" Simon looked up and over Jayne to where River must be standing. "I won't ever mention it again."

"Good," Jayne muttered. The doc disappeared.

"I'll put that on," River said, and Jayne couldn't see what she was talking about. Didn't care either. All he cared about was that he was finally lying down and he could just sink into the pain. Fingers brought cool to his back, stroking gently, tracing the path the whip had burned.

"Doc, let's go," Mal said.

"I should stay."

"Is he in any danger?"

"No, he doesn't appear to be, but I should monitor…" Simon's voice cut off and Jayne watched with some satisfaction as Mal bodily pulled Simon out of the room.

River sighed. "Stupid brother doesn't get it. All interrupting." River's voice was as soft as her fingers slowly spread cool over his back. The cream took the heat, but it left an almighty ache behind. For long minutes, he just breathed and her fingers gently smoothed the cream across his whip-scores.

"I am sorry," Jayne said softly. "Thought I was doing right."

"I know. Kissed Jesus," she said, and that didn't make much sense to Jayne, but maybe that was because the world was starting to get gray around the edges. She came around to the side Jayne was facing and she laid her palm against his cheek.

"Never wanted to think about how close I came to getting everyone killed. Zoe, Mal, and me, we're fighters. Deserve to go down facing the gun that's going to end us. They would have taken us out without giving us that chance," Jayne admitted the darkness that he'd been fighting back in the bay. He could feel despair chew at the edges of his mind as he thought on just how much he'd done wrong.

"They had their secrets," River agreed.

"Put Kaylee and Wash in the path of them, too. Didn't even think through that before I put targets on all of us."

"You didn't know," she said softly as she climbed on the table, fitting herself awkwardly on the four inches that were left between him and the edge. He watched as she reached up, but then closed his eyes as she used fingers to trace over his eyelids, and down to his lips, over his cheeks and then back up to his ear.

"Should have. Mal knew. In the airlock, he told me that I got pinched because I talked. I just didn't think it through. Always make the wrong choice."

"Not always." River's caress wandered down his arm to where the cuff was still locked around his wrist.

Jayne didn't argue because he was starting to think that letting her put the cuff on him weren't such a bad idea, but the fact was, he was mighty good at always choosing the wrong side. He felt fatigue pull at him, making his body heavy as his face tingled from her touch.

"I forgive you." She said the words, and Jayne had to blink to rid of himself of a warmth in his eyes.

"Beautiful Jayne," she sighed. "Took everything. Mal was impressed." Jayne smiled a little, and fingers traced the new shape of his mouth. "Brother is all black with guilt because he thinks I took the idea from his words last night." Jayne smiled wider. He started a low chuckle at the thought of Simon eaten with guilt, but the movement just made him groan.

"And now Jayne will remember the rule and all that strength is going to stay by my side." Her fingers danced across his arm and sent a shiver though him that just made his back ache worse. She shifted a little closer, her body pressing against his on the small table. "All that strength aimed right where I send it. Never going to get in trouble like this again."

Jayne found himself believing her. He also found himself wondering if there was something in that cream because sleep was pulling him under even though he hadn't been awake long. "My beautiful, strong Jayne," she breathed in his ear, the words tickling him, but he was too tired to scratch. Instead he slid into sleep.

"You feeling shiny enough to come to the mess? We got passengers, so Mal made food that doesn't taste like sawdust," Kaylee said from the door of the infirmary.

"Ain't sure I’m supposed to be up and walking yet," Jayne said. After two days in the infirmary, Simon had finally decided to just avoid his cranky patient by avoiding the infirmary altogether and River had threatened to get a chain and use the slave cuff to lock Jayne to the table. Were mighty annoying having enough energy to take on the world and being stuck on the doc's table listening to Serenity's engines make that growl that meant they were flying through the black.

"Oh." Kaylee made an unhappy face.

Jayne watched the way Kaylee avoided looking at his back. Jayne had seen it in a mirror, and only the one whip mark was bad, an angry red welt of open skin that the doc had put a sealant on so it looked all weirdly slick. River'd let him speed up the healing on most of the others so they were just lines of soft green and blues from the bruising. He was still sore, but it wasn't so bad as to warrant avoiding a look. "Was thinking," he commented.

"Oh, about what?"

"About how we would have been a disaster," Jayne said as he shifted to try and settle an itch in his back.

"You mean you and me together?" Kaylee asked, looking at his face but carefully keeping her eyes away from the rest of him. "I guess I ain't really thought on it much," Kaylee said carefully. Jayne nodded. She hadn't ever thought on him, and if her cap was set on some fancy like the doc, well, she never would have thought on him.

"Ain't just that," Jayne said. "The back, it ain't that bad, but you're looking at it like a Reaver tried to take a bite out of me."

"Oh." Kaylee's gaze slid to the floor.

"On Ariel, I was trying to protect you because I thought River was dangerous." Jayne thought about that for a second. "Still think River is dangerous, but I thought she were another kind of dangerous. I made a bad mistake and I needed to pay the price for that."

"But…" Kaylee stopped, her eyes darting around the room as she chewed a spot on her lip. "Inara keeps trying to explain things, and River talks about things being round or edged, which ain't making much sense to me, but then what Inara says ain't making a whole heap of sense to me either. I just don't want to see you hurt." Kaylee picked at her sleeve, and Jayne felt something warm just knowing she cared enough about him to get so worked up.

"I ain't one for words," he said slowly. "Can't explain them like Inara or River, not that River always makes much sense. I just know it hurts less now than it did before the whipping."

"Really?" Kaylee asked all surprised as she looked at him again.

"Yeah," Jayne assured her. "Guess it's something like Book said about confession, only I'm not real good at confessing and letting things go unless there's a whip involved. Do something wrong and you have to expect to pay."

"I'm not sure that's a type of confession Shepherd Book would have taken to," Kaylee said with a small smile. "Especially since, as River has informed everyone, including Mr. Elsworth from Bellerophon, you two can have sex now that the whipping and forgiving part is over. Thought the man was going to swallow his own face he scrunched it up so hard."

Jayne laughed, feeling the slight ache and increased itch in his back. But then the silence was back, feeling like an itch between him and Kaylee that he needed to scratch, but he didn't quite know how to do it.

"I didn't need you to pay," Kaylee said softly. "Simon neither."

"That's why you and me together would have been a disaster," Jayne said seriously. "Because I needed to pay. Couldn't move on until I did."

Kaylee looked at him for a long time. "Is it okay if I think that's a little strange?" she asked with a wry smile.

"I figure I ain't so normal as to get worked up over being called strange," he agreed. Kaylee gave him a small smile and then the awkward just crept back in.

"Whatever you're thinking, just spit it out," Jayne said after a minute of watching her then shift from foot to foot awkwardly.

"What? I'm just thinking on the passengers. Mr. Elsworth is real fussy."

"You ain't good at lying," Jayne interrupted her.

Kaylee sighed. "Okay, I ain't thinking on Mr. Elsworth although he is real fussy. I washed his sheets twice and he's still calling them dingy." She got that offended look in her eye, and Jayne figured that Mr. Elsworth was going to be mighty sorry about complaining when Serenity started hiccupping and tossing everyone around half way through sleep cycle. Kaylee weren't the kind of strong hand he needed, but she wasn't exactly the sort to get walked on either. "I thought River was going to put the cuff on and do the fun parts of slavery like in my books. I never thought she'd hurt you, and even if you ain't upset about being hurt, it don't feel right. You can't just walk away."

Jayne pushed himself up with a groan and swung his legs over the side. If he was having this conversation, he weren't having it laying down. "I wouldn't want to be able to walk away," Jayne admitted. "If I could've walked away from that whipping, I would have, but then I'd still be carrying all that guilt. And I ain't saying I liked it because I'm going to make gorram sure I don't do things without getting her say-so because I ain't looking to earn another punishment like that," he hurried to add when Kaylee's expression just got more worried. "I figure the cuff makes things easier for me. I know I need to stay right with River, and I can trust River to keep me from doing anything overly stupid. The way I see it, should make you lot a good sight more comfortable, too."

"You stood by us through everything from Rance Burgess to Reavers. I don't need the cuff to know that you'll always have my back," Kaylee insisted.

"Always will if I have a choice about it," Jayne admitted. "But I don't make good decisions. I don't trust my decisions, so I ain't taking comfort in it if you do," Jayne snapped when Kaylee got that stubborn expression on her face. He looked up and River was drifting into the room.

"But you always said you were in charge when Mal and Zoe left the ship," Kaylee argued.

All Jayne could do was sigh and wonder what he'd done wrong in his life to deserve being around women who had to talk everything to death. At least, he wondered which wrong he'd done deserved it. "You and Inara aren't fighters. If someone's got to stand up and make a decision or get shot, it ain't going to be those of you who ain't fighters."

Stepping forward, River caught his eye and held it. Kaylee gave a little jump as she realized River had joined them, but Jayne focused on the woman who owned him in about every way that counted. "Jayne thought he had to. All unhappy because tides pull at him saying the warrior has to take charge and tides pull at him saying the warrior is supposed to be the sword of the king." She came forward and put her hands on his thighs. "Or queen."

Jayne just nodded. "Reckon so." He turned to Kaylee. "She owns paper on me, but that ain't why I'm staying with her. She asked me to wear this. . . asked, not told," Jayne said as he held up his cuff. "I ain't got to explain things to her that I ain't no good at explaining, and it were my choice, just like you sleeping with the overly-starched doctor is yours."

"Hey, the starch is coming out nicely, thank you," Kaylee insisted as she crossed her arms and gave him a smile. "He's even starting to think that maybe River ain't as childlike as he thought. Keeps going on about how he introduced her to corrupting influences, and I'm getting the annoying feeling I'm one of those corruptions, but he ain't making the mistake of seeing her as a little girl anymore."

"Jayne is a much better catch than my stupid brother," River added as her fingers moved up his legs to his hips, fingertips brushing against his bare waist. "And it's time for you to come back to our quarters."

"Not the mess? I ain't had dinner yet."

"I'll bring food down," River said. "Quarters now."

"Oh," Jayne said as he caught up with her meaning. His cock was already ahead of him, hardening at the thought that now they could finally finish what they'd started so long ago. He hadn't ever been good with self-denial, and he'd had about enough of denying himself sex for a lifetime. "Seems like someone promised I'd be chained to the bed for a good while. Make sure there's lots of protein in whatever you bring down," he said as he leered at her.

She just smiled and took his hand and pulled him off the doc's table and toward the door. Jayne was surprised and a little confused when Kaylee trailed behind them.

Jayne had the displeasure of meeting Mr. Elsworth on the way down to crew quarters, and got an earful on how the Alliance was going to outlaw the abomination that were slaving. River just smiled sweetly and pulled on Jayne's arm. Kaylee did the cursing for them both, muttering under her breath.

And finally, they reached his quarters, Kaylee still trailing. "Uh, I ain't never complained about a woman joining me in my bunk, but I figure River's about all I can handle," Jayne said cautiously as he looked at her in confusion. Kaylee smiled sweetly and didn't answer as River opened the hatch to Jayne's quarters.

"Surprise!" called out voices. Jayne jumped hard enough to make his back burn, his hand landing on his knife handle before his brain caught up with the fact that it was just his idiot friends near to scaring him to death.

"Nee mun doh shr sagwa, scaring a man in his own quarters," Jayne complained as he peered in. It didn't look much like is quarters anymore.

"This is your 'welcome home, don't never go selling yourself into slavery again' party, only that last bit seems a little not applicable right now," Mal commented. "So don't be calling us idiots. Save that for when we do something idiotic."

Jayne climbed down the ladder and looked around his room in shock. Vera was still on the wall, flanked above and below by the nasty blades River favored, and his smaller weapons was lined up under them all decorative-like, but beyond that, it were clearly a girl who had got at his room.

"That shouldn't take too long. After all, we haven't nearly died in a month," Inara offered Mal sweetly, and even Jayne caught that insult. Course, that one were aimed at Mal, and when she was insulting Mal, she seemed a little more direct with it.

Jayne stood looking at the deep blue carpet, the throw on the bed in swirls of blue and green, the fabric hung in front of his rod hiding the clothes behind it, the tall wooden dresser standing against one wall and the heavy wood trunk tucked in beside the bed.

"Maybe someone should let Jayne put on a shirt," Inara suggested as she took a step back toward Mal, even after insulting him.

"Ain't going to have something rubbing where the whip cut me open," he said absent-mindedly as he looked around the place. "Looks like Inara's shuttle threw up in here." River wrapped herself around his left arm, and Jayne spotted Simon, who was pressing himself into a corner, flinch back a bit at the sight of his sister being all affectionate.

"That would be called decorating," Inara said in that crisp tone that always made Jayne wonder if she were insulting him. Probably. "Of course, I suggested the collection of blades and guns come down off the wall, but taste is largely a matter of individual preference."

"At least it don't stink like the shuttle," Jayne shrugged.

"The shuttle doesn't smell bad."

"Smells like burnt crap," he disagreed as he watched Kaylee push in and go right to Simon, smiling at him all proud. "Could have half the couplings in the panel catch fire before you'd smell the first one go." Jayne was willing to just bet the doc got told to come or else. Well, watching him squirm almost made it worth having to put off the sexing again.

"It's incense. Why do I bother?" Inara shook her head and got a pinched expression. "River, good luck, and you have your hands full."

"I like him," River said simply.

"As I said, taste is a matter of individual preference, although clearly not all preferences are created equal."

Jayne narrowed his eyes because he were pretty sure there was an insult in there somewheres.

"I think it's real pretty. And look Jayne, you got wood fixings. Ain't that special?" Kaylee reached out and ran her hand over the wood of the dresser, following the grain with her fingers.

"Yep, until you go rolling the ship," Jayne commented as he thought of Mr. Elsworth and his dingy sheets. "First time you two do a Crazy Ivan, I'm going to be picking wood outta my skull."

"Nope, River and I braced it up real good, the dresser and the chest. So we could flip Serenity around all day and they ain't going nowhere," she said proudly.

"Let's not test that one out," Mal commented as he handed Jayne a drink. Jayne threw it back, surprised to discover it was good whiskey, not the usual stuff that could rot your stomach from the inside. He wandered closer to that tall dresser and grabbed a frilly cookie, something that he was guessing Inara made. Shoving one in his mouth, he nodded in appreciation. They were good.

"Let me just say congratulations," Zoe said as she stepped forward and refilled his whiskey glass.

"Really?" Jayne asked.

Zoe gave him a sigh as she rolled her eyes at him. "Yes. And being the one who had a long-term relationship, I will give you the traditional advice. Never go to bed angry. I will also tell you that never works." Zoe filled her own glass and then threw back the whiskey. "So, here's the real advice," she offered. "Never break anything in a fight that you'll regret the next morning. Wash and me… we kept all kinds of plastic nothings around for flinging when we got going good."

A quiet fell on the room. Zoe nodded for a second. "And Wash would officially add that you two deserve each other in every way. He'd be right."

"Yep, he would," Kaylee said softly. Zoe looked over at her for a second and then smiled before refilling her own whiskey glass and sipping slower this time.

"We got presents," River said happily.

"But this is your happy slavery and welcome back party, you two ain't the ones who's supposed to be giving out gifts," Kaylee objected.

"Ain't no 'we' in that, River got presents and I stood around carrying them," Jayne pointed out. Three days he'd been a pack mule she'd inappropriately touched until he was jerking off in public bathrooms. Hadn't been half-bad. If she'd gone and freed him, it would've been the basis for a real good bunk fantasy, but he figured he didn't need to be making up stories for his hand to recreate anymore.

"Nope. Jayne got 'em too," River said firmly. "People look at me and don't give me the deal they should. Never went into trading because the numbers didn't work. But the captain told me that improbable numbers work when you're flying if the ship loves you. I figured out on my own that improbable numbers work when the shopkeepers think Jayne is offended that they won't sell to me at the price I want."

"Intimidating shopkeeps, seems a good use of Jayne's talent," Mal agreed.

"Yep," River said happily. "I'll get the captain his shuttle back in no time with Jayne on my leash. Makes people worry seeing him with a cuff," she said as she smiled at him. "Mr. Elsworth wonders if you killed someone to end up sold and how bad you have to be to get a whipping that leaves your back all bruised and cut. He plans to hide in his quarters rest of the trip."

"Way to go, Jayne," Kaylee said happily.

"He were an idiot," was Jayne's only comment.

"An idiot with credits," Mal pointed out. "But I could still do with less discussion of Jayne bein' on a leash." Mal drained his glass and held it out for Zoe to fill.

"I don't know, sir. It does appear one way of keeping him out of trouble," she commented with a smile.

"Hey, ain't like I haven't saved your sorry asses a time or two. I figure it's a toss up whether me or Mal has gotten in the most trouble." Jayne defended himself and then tossed back his second drink. He held out his glass for Zoe to refill it, but before he could drink his third whiskey, River neatly plucked it out of his hand. Jayne glared at her as she sipped it without even bothering to look guilty. Reaching over to the plate of offerings, she grabbed a hunk of meat stuck to a stick and handed it to him. He took it with a frown and shoved the whole thing in his mouth only to discover then that it were spiced. His eyes watered as he chewed on it.

"My plans are original and inspired," Mal insisted as he looked to Zoe for some backup.

"If by original you mean no one else would ever try them, I would agree," Inara offered.

"No comment, sir," Zoe said as she turned her back. Jayne and River's quarters were small enough that she couldn't go far though.

"We aren't all dead, so they can't be that bad," Mal pointed out.

"He does have a point, what with us not being dead. But I want to get to presents," Kaylee interrupted.

Jayne watched as River weaved between the others to the other side of the room where the curtain hid their clothes. Simon's eyes followed her with something like sadness, but at least he weren't making a fuss anymore. Kaylee just looked like a kid at Christmas, and even Zoe had lost some of that sadness as she watched with interest as River pulled out a large canvas sack from behind the curtain.

"I just want to point out these are rightly from me too since she sold my shuttle for the buying of them," Mal said as River put the bag on the bunk, which seemed to have grown a few inches wider. "Unless the presents end up wildly inappropriate, then I'll be giving the credit to River and Jayne," he added after a second of thought.

River just laughed efore she pulled the first one out. "Brother is stupid when it comes to the heart, but he always protected me and gave up so much. Even Jayne says he respects Simon," she added with a proud look Jayne's way. Simon glanced over with something akin to shock on his face, but then so did the others.

"Also said I'd keep on respecting you even when I snapped your gorram neck if you kept being stupid," Jayne pointed out with some satisfaction as Simon went white.

"Got him something he gave up for me," she said as she held out the bottles. Simon took them, his eyes darting from the bottles to Jayne until he got a good look at the labels, and then he stared at them in clear shock, too much shock to even keep a suspicious watch on Jayne.

"Mei mei," he breathed. "This is too much."

"Let me smell," Kaylee said, holding his arm and leaning in to see what he got. "I heard of that brand but I ain't never smelled nothing as fancy as that." Simon carefully opened one bottle, and Kaylee bent down. "Jayne, smell this," Kaylee said after taking a deep breath.

"Smells like gou shi, and I'm not wearing any, so if you got more of that stuff in your bag, give it over to the doc right now," Jayne warned seriously.

Mal almost choked on his whiskey. "You'll take a whipping like I ain't never seen a man take, but you'll balk at some fancy smellin' cologne?"

"Gorram right," Jayne agreed as River pulled a book out of the bag. "A man's got to have his limits."

River laughed. "I like how Jayne smells of fresh sweat. For Zoe," River said quickly when Inara looked to start choking again. "It's not from Earth-that-was, but it's old. Estias has all sorts of treasures unburied, traded to buy back freedom after someone went and got stupid," River said as she smiled at Jayne for a second before handing over the old book with yellowed pages. Zoe took it with a confused look.

"Thanks," she said automatically as she read the cover. Jayne didn't know what the book meant to her, but he could see the minute that she figured out what it was. He back went stiff and she started blinking like she was trying to hold back tears.

"Zoe?" Mal asked all concerned. Jayne had to agree, anything that could make Zoe look like she was ready to cry was downright unnerving.

"Washington Irving," Zoe said as she held up the book cover for him to see. "It was one of Wash's favorites. He was always trying to explain some story from this book."

The dark binding looked familiar. "Is that the one where the guy sleeps with a dead girl thinking she ain't dead?" Jayne asked. River nodded.

"Oh god, that's really in here?" Zoe asked with broken half-laugh in her breath. "I thought he was making that one up."

At about the same time, the doctor blurted out, "*You* read Washington Irving?" toward Jayne.

"Ain't completely uneducated," Jayne growled at the doctor.

"And perfume. Every girl should have perfume," River said as she held a bottle out for Zoe. Zoe took the perfume without even looking up from the book. River could have handed her a rattlesnake for all the attention she was paying it. Then River held out a small wooden box to Inara.

Inara took it and opened it. "It's exquisite," she breathed as she pulled out a carved knife. The handle was a soft off-white carved into the form of a bird that curved gracefully into the blade. "Why get me a knife, though?" she asked.

River shrugged. "Jayne worries about you going off in the shuttle. Can't take a gun into a man's bedroom, but you can a knife."

"Yes, a knife is not an uncommon tool for a companion," Inara agreed. "And this is truly a work of art." Inara looked at Jayne strangely before she put the knife carefully back in the box and closed it. "Thank you both."

"Ain't like I picked it," Jayne shrugged. "I would have gotten you one of those little machines that suck the stink out of the air."

Inara's expression immediately shifted to something more familiar. "Incense does not stink. It is… never mind. It's like casting pearls before swine and then trying to have a meaningful discussion with the swine. I give up. Thank you for the beautiful present, River."

"For Kaylee," River said as she slowly pulled a long yellow gown out of the bag. It was simple, a low neck and long sleeves and a skirt that went to the floor.

"Oh River," Kaylee breathed as she reached out for it. She held it up in front of her, and the bottom spreading out around her feet and the waist all fancy with sewing and little pearls. "Oh, it's too fine. I couldn't take this."

"And this," River held out a small box, but Simon had to take it because Kaylee was still staring all wide-eyed at the dress, her fingers tracing the sewing.

"All embroidered and everything. River, I ain't even sure how to say thank you enough."

"Mei mei," Simon breathed as he opened the box and showed it to Kaylee.

"It's a ring, and it matches my dress!" Kaylee said happily as she reached out for it.

"Mei mei, is that real?" Simon asked as he looked at River with wide eyes. River just nodded.

"What?" Mal asked. "Don't look much special to me. It's pretty and all, but it's just a yellow ring," Mal said as he leaned in to look.

"Well it's special to me," Kaylee declared as she pulled it out of the box and put it on her finger so she could hold out her hand and admire it. "Real special."

"It's a yellow sapphire. That ring is probably worth as much as the ship," Simon said as he looked at River in surprise.

"That ring is?" Mal asked. "You got *any* of the money left from selling my shuttle?" Mal demanded as he looked at River in shock.

"Nope," she said happily.

"Wuh de tyen, ah. I ain't never getting another shuttle." Mal looked more despairing than upset, and River started laughing softly.

"Got more trinkets though," River said. "Treasure goes into Estias to buy back lives, but no one sees just how shiny it is. Ships go there to buy slaves and look right past everything else. That's why we're going to Bernadette, to sell the shiny and get the captain a new shuttle," River promised. "And with Jayne on my leash, they'll all be nice about giving me the price I want."

"Seems like little sister grew up in more ways than one this trip," Zoe said with amusement. "Inara, you might have some competition for the title of most successful business woman on Serenity."

"I just might. A sapphire that size is worth much more than a shuttle, so her trading skills are really quite…" Inara searched for a word, "formidable," she finished.

"And I got something for the captain, too." River pulled out a cardboard tube and held it out with a satisfied smile on her face.

Mal took it, looking at it like it was a snake as he pulled the cap off the end and tilted it up. A roll of paper slid out the end. He unrolled it. "Ai-ya," he breathed. River got a big smile on her face.

"Sir?" Zoe asked.

"Come on, show us," Kaylee urged him.

Mal turned the paper around so that the Chinese characters for truth and harmony were visible above the large title: Statement of Beliefs.

"Sir, is that…?" Zoe just stopped.

"One of the originals," River said proudly. "Captain always said that just because they were the losing side didn't mean they were the wrong side."

"River," Mal said softly as he looked at the scroll.

"That from their Independent Faction bunch?" Jayne asked.

"Yep," River said happily as Mal just stared at the document in his hands. "It's an original. I can still hear the men who signed whispering in the paper." That made Mal blink and look up at her.

"You can hear them whisper?"

River nodded.

"River, I'm…" Mal stopped. "I reckon I'm speechless. It ain't a feeling I have a regular acquaintance with. "

Jayne snorted. Weren't no use getting all sentimental over paper, not unless the paper was credits. "If you're going to be speechless, you mind doing it outside my quarters so I can get sexed?" Jayne asked. Simon started choking, and Kaylee ended up pounding him on his back.

"It's good to see slavery hasn't substantially changed you much other than your grooming habits," Inara sighed. "Thank you again, River, but I think it's time I left."

"I think it's time we all leave," Zoe said. "Sir?" she called when Mal was still staring at the scroll.

"I'm sure I got some business to do somewheres," Mal agreed absentmindedly as he slipped the scroll back into the cardboard tube. "Ain't got the words to say what this means," Mal said as he looked at River.

"Can hear you say it anyway," River said. Mal nodded and headed after Zoe up the ladder.

That left Kaylee and Simon, and Jayne crossed his arms as he waited for Simon to say something now that the captain weren't here to threaten him with cleaning out the septic system, although now that he thought on that, it wasn't exactly fair to call that punishment because Jayne did it all the time.

"Captain's right," Kaylee offered. "Ain't got words to say what this means. And this were supposed to be your party, something like an engagement party so it don't seem right that you gave all the gifts."

"I didn't give them all," River said, her eyes on Simon. "It changed the music in the ship, and that's the best gift." River hesitated. "Best gift after Jayne."

"Music?" Kaylee frowned. "Ain't following."

River leaned over, her shoulder brushing against Jayne, and he draped an arm around her as she just looked at her brother. "Thoughts shifting, changing, seeing me as something other than the crazy girl."

"Well, of course you aren't the crazy girl," Kaylee immediately objected and River looked at her with a half smile.

"It does seem like I missed some important point in time when you went from being my baby sister to something else," Simon said quietly.

"Still your baby sister," River answered. "Just added more on."

Simon nodded. Then without a word to Jayne, he headed for the ladder.

"Well, I guess we're going now," Kaylee offered. "Thanks again. It's real nice, everything you got."

Jayne watched Kaylee climb out and close the hatch after her so that he was finally alone with River. "Should've told me we were collecting treasure. I would have been more careful with it," Jayne pointed out. "There any more back there? We could make a stop there next time we come through."

"Not interested in cold treasures without blood flowing through their veins right now," River said as she turned to him, her hands coming up to rest on his bare chest. "More interested in treasure that's warm and breathing."

"Don't know if I'm rightly treasure, but I got the warm and breathing parts down," Jayne offered. River got her sweet smile, the one that meant that she was thinking things that weren't no good and Jayne felt himself harden at just the sight. "Oh, yeah," he breathed as her smile widened.

Jayne reached down and caught the back of River's neck, pulling her close and kissing her hard, and for one second, he could feel her heat leaning into him, and then he was spun around and flung face first into the wall next to the ladder, his arm twisted around behind him and pinned just below the whip score.

Flickering pain surged, no more than heat and spice added to the pleasure, his back sending tendrils through to his guts, his cock, his spine--and he shivered. "Seems familiar," he said as he squirmed a bit, only to have River press into him.

"But last time you went and ran and I was all stupid and let you. Coordinated hormones and sympathetic nervous system. Constricted blood vessels. Dilation of vessels to skeletal muscles. All from adrenal medullary hormones that trigger the metabolism of blood sugars and the evacuation of blood from the spleen."

"Ain't following a word you're saying excepting blood," Jayne pointed out. His cock was throbbing now, a singular point of pain and pleasure in a body bright with both. And against that brightness, he could feel that quiet dark rising up below, that peace he'd found when he'd stood and accepted his own death, and that feeling scared him about as much as River.

"Fight or flight. You chose flight."

"Ain't what I'm feeling now," Jayne pointed out.

"Penile tumescence and erection, constricted blood vessels, coordinated hormones and sympathetic nervous system. Not that different," River disagreed, and Jayne really weren't in a position to argue.

"You saying I'm wanting to fight or run?" Jayne asked, not sure he was following this conversation real well. He'd expected to be getting sexed about now, but instead of being confused, his cock was just harder.

"Yep," River agreed as she let him go and moved backwards. He turned, and immediately pulled at his too-tight crotch because River, her body angled for attack, was just about the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, like a perfect blade shining in the sun. She smiled as if she could hear that thought.

"Gorram reader," he sighed.

"Jayne's going to get his ass kicked," River chanted softly.

"Someone's feeling a little over confident," Jayne answered, even if his cock didn't seem to mind the thought. He moved forward, crouching into a fighting stance as he watched River. He had an advantage. Sitting at her feet, he'd learned the way her body moved, the way she signaled her emotions and her excitement as she read.

River darted to the side, and Jayne didn't fall for it so that when she struck out, he blocked the hit and tried to counter. He found himself stumbling to the side and she blocked his counterattack and hit him with a firm kick to his hip. Oh hell, Jayne hadn't never played with a woman like this. Hitting women just weren't on his list of things he was okay with doing, but this… this were just fun. He feigned to the left, a wicked smile on his face, but she didn't fall for it. She struck out, and he ducked and kicked to sweep her feet out from under her.

She leapt, neatly missing his kick, landing behind him, and shoving him face down on the carpet, her knee in the small of his back, and her grip pinning his arm to the ground.

"There just ain't enough room for me to get going is all," Jayne argued as he struggled, only to have her other hand come down on his neck firm enough to make him hunch his shoulders and go still out of self-defense. He could hear her panting, hear his own heart pounding, and that quiet rose again--that feeling like all he had to do was follow and accept. He blinked and the dark quiet retreated.

"Want to fight in the cargo hold?" she asked sweetly, but then Jayne trusted her least when she were sweet.

"Not if this is going where I hope it's going," Jayne grunted as she shifted, putting all her weight on the knee in the small of his back. The deep soreness from the whipping made her weight sink into him so that his whole body felt bright, ready for sexing with every nerve primed. His balls started to ache in need.

"To the victor does the spoils," River whispered as she pulled something out from under the bunk. Jayne's head was turned the wrong way, but he could hear the links rattle. A cuff closed around his right wrist before she pulled it up over his head and locked it close to his slave cuff. That left a long length of chain that she held firmly.

Jayne's cock throbbed so hard that the world went gray for a second as he fought back a need to come right in his pants. Then River straddled him, her knees squeezing his waist as she held the chain close so that Jayne's hands were forced up close to his head.

"Up," she ordered.

Jayne considered fighting, but then she squeezed her thighs and he damn near came. There'd be time for fighting later. He got up to his knees and then struggled up, her riding his back. 'Course it didn't escape his notice that for all of their roughhousing, she hadn't once touched the score mark the doc had sealed over. It flared plenty just from him twisting, but those were just enough to put an edge on his pleasure and make his whole body feel everything more bright. She could've hurt him, hurt him bad, but she didn't, not even by accident.

"To the right. Hands up," River ordered. Jayne couldn't quite figure out what she was going for until he spotted the ring in the ceiling holding a scrap of blue fabric up there. "Cao," he breathed as he held his hands up and River reached up and chained him to the ceiling. Once he was secured, she dropped to the floor and circled him, looking until Jayne wondered if he could come just from having a woman look at him like that.

"Beautiful Jayne, all muscle and strength," she said as she circled again, this time letting her hands glide over his body. Jayne strained against the chains, feeling the sweat heat his body and the ache of the whip marks make the world bright until the fingers gliding over him left trails of aching need behind. River reached up and pulled at a nipple, rolling it between her thumb and finger, and Jayne twisted helplessly. The world seemed to get as quiet as space, only the pounding of his own heart as she tormented first one nipple and then the other.

"Please. You're going to gorram break me," he pleaded. River leaned close, pressing herself to his body and reaching down to cup his cock in her hand.

"You can take more," she said as she slowly worked his buckle and then the button on his pants. Jayne panted and strained until beats of sweat tickled down his back as she slowly pushed down the zipper. With a smile, River shoved his pants down without taking off his boots so that Jayne was hobbled by his own gorram pants.

He still couldn't help but groan in relief and frustration as the pressure eased off his cock. He wasn't as close to coming now, but he needed to come so bad his eyes were about ready to water. River worked a hand inside his boxers, exploring the head of his cock, teasing the tip that had slipped free of the foreskin before she reached down farther and felt the balls, rolling them in her hand. Jayne threw his legs as far open as he could and arched his back in an imitation of a thrust. It was the best he could do as trussed up as he were.

"Can hear you. Know you can take so much more," River whispered.

"Ain't going to be able to take too much more at all," Jayne disagreed, his whole body aching for release. Hell, his whole body was screaming for it. Jayne tried to thrust into her hand again, but she just slipped her hand free and started circling again, a single finger keeping contact, tracing a path across his stomach and side and back and then right around to the stomach again.

"When you're all healed, I'm going to chain you up and use the short flogger until your whole body is just heat and raw need and then I'm going to drop to my knees and swallow you whole."

Jayne jerked and nearly came in his shorts.

"Guay."

River stopped behind him, her hands around his waist and slowly, she slid them down, fingers over his ass as she pushed his shorts down. The waistband got caught on his prick, and then pulled free so that it bobbed, jutting out and looking a mite darker than normal as River knelt behind him, running her hands up and down his legs as though he were a horse she was considering buying.

"All trembling," she said softly, her words stirring the air against the back of his legs, and Jayne really did tremble for fair then.

"Guay. You're going to kill me," he warned as he strained.

"Nope, Jayne's not allowed to die," River said brightly as she stood up. The sweat was beading and rolling down his back in individual drops, and suddenly River's tongue was tracing their path back up his skin.

"Aw, hell. Can't you do that after?" he begged. Normally, he wasn't one for begging, but these were extraordinary circumstances.

"Not as much fun after. Jayne's going to go to sleep on me after," she said as she retreated altogether. She flicked the controls next to the door, dimming the lights, and then headed for the tall dresser and the plate of cookie things from Inara.

"Ain't you going to…" Jayne watched as she leaned against the dresser and ate a cookie.

"Going to what?" River asked, all innocence and sweetness.

"Going to get with the sexing?" Jayne asked desperately. His cock jutted out and his balls ached, but he was chained so tight he couldn't do a gorram thing about it. Hadn't ever been so caught between heaven and hell.

"I am. Just looking at you needing me is pleasure," she said. She twitched her body, sliding her right hand down over her curves and then up under her skirt, the folds still hiding what Jayne so deserpate wanted to see. He watched the fabric ripple and bulge as her hand very obviously disappeared between her legs. River spread her feet, the dress bobbing as she worked, and her eyes got all glazed.

"Lots of pleasure," she said as she started rocking back and forth.

"Hun dan! Let me do that. Come on," he pleaded as he rocked forward and back in time with her, but his motions were a lot more futile as he thrust into the empty air, his cock bobbing. River stopped and looked at him, her eyes only partially open.

"Going to pleasure me before coming?" River asked.

"Hell yes. I ain't never gone to sleep without the woman getting her pleasure," Jayne promised. River circled him, her head cocked as she considered his request, and for one second he thought she was going to leave him there and pleasure herself to completion. That should have made his chun zi cock unhappy, but the stupid thing just got harder at how much control River were taking. The quiet nearly roared in his ears.

"Remember your promise," she whispered, but the words echoed louder and louder in his head as Jayne could only nod mutely. Then she was on his back, using him as a step ladder, her knees gripping his waist as she reached up to unlock his hands from the ceiling. She didn't unfasten his wrists or let go of the chain, so when she slid to the floor, she led him to the bed by the chain, him taking small steps with his pants still hobbling him.

"Hands up," she ordered as she put her hands on his shoulders and pressed down. Jayne sank to his knees, and instantly touched his aching cock. Immediately, River yanked his hands up using the chain. Forcing him to raise his hands to shoulder level, she backed away, draping the chain leash over his shoulder before retreating.

"Ain't been sexed for a while. Can't really put it off too much longer," Jayne said tightly, his cock throbbing now. One touch. That's all it would take.

"You used to practice," she said, shimmying out of her dress and letting it puddle to the floor. "You used to practice how close you could come before pinching it off. Then waiting and starting all over again. Pretty fantasies with a woman who wore yellow pigtails."

Jayne could feel his balls, tight and hot, and remembering that one time he'd played with a woman and her whip weren't helping him much. River pushed her underwear off and then stood in front of him naked. He found himself swallowing and not really able to do much else.

"Hands," she said sharply, and Jayne brought them back up, not even realizing his fingers were drifting down to his damn prick again.

"Contradictions," River said as she stepped close, her body lithe and dangerous and setting off all Jayne's alarms as she got that predator's roll to her walk. "You want the fantasy to end but you want to keep it going. You want to be chained so you're free. Emancipation is slavery and slavery, freedom."

"Never claimed I didn't have a few bugs loose in the brain myself, Crazy," Jayne pointed out. She smiled at his old name for her, and the heat from her body brushed against him, teasing his arms and hands. She stepped so close, he reached out fingers and slipped them between her legs, into the warm folds. Pressing and stroking, he watched as her face twisted in need, her hands grabbing for his shoulders as she rocked forward into him.

Jayne leaned forward and placed a kiss on the flat of her stomach and she gasped and tightened her grip.

"Wanted to feel your mouth, to have you on your knees giving me pleasure."

Jayne pulled his fingers free and wiped them on his leg, fighting the temptation to reach over and give himself just one stroke. "Just come closer," he said, focused on the curling hair that hid his prize.

"Can't wait." River said, and she was pulling Jayne up to his feet. He followed, ending up on his back on the bed as she leaned over him, chaining him to the wall with his hands over his head. He couldn't resist; he thrust up into her hip, his whole body on fire as his need very nearly reached the breaking point where he could throw himself over into the beyond.

"You promised," River said firmly as she was on hands and knees above him, her body so close, but still held teasingly away. "Gave your word. Gave me you submission, so now you have to wait until I've had my pleasure," she said firmly as she looked him right in the eye. Jayne didn't think he could get much harder, but he did.

Curling his hands into fists and straining against the chains until his arms bulged, he forced himself to stop before he came all over himself and broke his word.

"Hot and needing," River muttered as she crouched over him. She rested her forehead on his arm, the weight of it hot. Jayne could hear her labored breathing as she fought with her own need, or maybe she was hearing his, he didn't really care anymore.

"Guay," Jayne swore. The fact that a woman needed him so much nearly drove him over that edge whether he wanted to or not, but she reached down and pinched the head of his cock, right where he always did when he was playing at some bunk fantasy. Only thing were, this wasn't no fantasy. Jayne writhed against the need to come and the pain of not coming and the overwhelming pleasure of having someone else take that choice from him.

"Only free to follow the fantasy once you're chained," River muttered. Jayne took a deep breath, but before he could answer, she dropped onto him, his cock sinking deep into a tight, slick heat that stripped Jayne of all control. His body flailed, fighting the chains without thought to how little chance he had to break them.

Digging his heels into the bed, he bucked up, thrusting River into the air, and she cried out, her breath coming fast and loud as he dropped back down to the bed. She didn't follow him all the way down, holding herself just above, so when he thrust up again, he slid into her. River screamed this time, throwing her head back and Jayne's thrusts became violent, uncoordinated, desperate as he struggled to hold back an orgasm that threatened to swallow him.

A black sea surged under him, and Jayne could feel it rising up. He strained against the chains, against the need to come, against everything except the look on River's face. And finally, he saw it, the moment when everything vanished, when her muscles tightened around him and her thighs trembled and Jayne finally let himself come with a shout.

He thrust up twice more, struggling to even breathe as every muscle ached after the most intense sex of his life. River braced herself on his chest, panting for breath, and Jayne could feel that ocean of quiet settle up around him. He'd done what she asked, and now she was flushed, panting and happy and slowly sliding down to rest against his chest.

River lay curled against his side as their bodies slowly cooled, and for once in his life, Jayne didn't feel the need to do anything. Being here in River's bed was enough. Weren't no doubts or fears, was only the quiet.

River's hand stroked his stomach, petting him as she made little happy noises, and Jayne just waited. Wasn't anything in the whole gorram 'verse he felt like doing other than waiting on whatever River wanted.

"Thoughts all…" River stopped. "symmetrical," she finished. "Jayne has such pretty thoughts."

"Not really thinking much of anything," Jayne disagreed with a sigh. She shifted, bringing her leg up to lay over his thighs as she looked down on him.

"You're thinking that you belong all to me," River said. Jayne thought about that, stretching his back a little to ease the itch.

"Yeah, guess I am," he finally agreed. She smiled, stretching up to press her lips against his and Jayne opened his mouth, tasting her, feeling her lips move against his until she pulled back and smiled at him again.

"Thoughts colored pretty," River sighed as she pulled the edge of the bedspread up and pulled it around them. Jayne laid there, the lights on dim and watched the top of her head as she curled against him, fingers still stroking his stomach. "Thoughts colored all shiny and pretty," she muttered.

Jayne didn't have much he could say to that, so he just closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep, trusting River to keep him safe as he let himself drift in an ocean of quiet that made him feel like the whole gorram 'verse just might be colored pretty tonight.

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